sports Page 637 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Clint Dempsey's Hat Trick Today, The First-Ever By An American In The English Premier League
Our own Luke O'Brien predicted in August a big season for American midfielder Clint Dempsey as he started his sixth season playing for Fulham in the EPL, and the past two weeks have borne that prediction in a big way. Dempsey followed his FA Cup hat trick two weeks ago with another today against ...

The Alabama Teabagger Has A Mugshot
Brian Downing, the man who is accused of "pressing his testicles on the neck of an unconscious LSU fan," as the Times-Picuyane puts it, turned himself in to police last night and has been booked on one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity. Here's his endearing mugshot....

When Should You Teabag Someone? A Flowchart Explains
An important social issue has arisen from the debate around the New Orleans teabag incident last weekend: When is it OK to teabag someone who has not specifically asked to be teabagged by you? Sometimes, police call that kind of thing sexual battery, but police terms can be confusing! To help settle...

Brian Downing, Alleged Alabama Teabagger, Has Turned Himself In
The Russell County, Ala., sheriff says Brian Downing—the man we identified this morning as the Alabama teabagger—visited the sheriff's office this afternoon with his attorney and spoke by phone with the New Orleans police detective investigating the teabagging incident....
![Former Georgetown Coach John Thompson Doesn't Know What Herpes Is [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Former Georgetown Coach John Thompson Doesn't Know What Herpes Is [UPDATE]
Here's a clip from yesterday's John Thompson Show on ESPN 980 in Washington, D.C., during which a discussion of Ryan Braun's PED incident took place. (Deadspin edited about a minute from the discussion for brevity.) The program quickly moves onto a new topic once Thompson mentions that he doesn't ...

Cuba Gooding Jr. Invites Linda Cohn To Rock Out With Her Cock Out
Cuba Gooding Jr. appeared on SportsCenter today to promote his new film Red Tails (which, as far as we can tell, is fully unrelated to sports) and performed some awkward impersonations, including one of Allen Iverson which ended in an aborted-too-late "rock out with your cock out!" We're pretty s...
![Is This The Alabama Teabagger? [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4nf25ax1bojpg.jpg)
Is This The Alabama Teabagger? [UPDATE]
A tipster told us the other day that the assailant in the Krystal teabagging incident—a "sexual battery," as far as New Orleans police are concerned—was a man named Brian Downing from Phenix City, Ala. We think we've found him. ...

Big Baby Depantses Self, Gets Called For A Technical
Is it depantses or pantses? Or just pants? Whatever it is, Glen Davis did it to himself a la Steve Lyons, and it earned him a technical foul—one about which he's visibly confused. [Sun Sports]...

Messi Had A Hand In Barça's 2-1 Win Over Real Madrid—A Hand That Pepe Stepped On
Despite Cristiano Ronaldo's opening goal, Barcelona claimed the first leg of their Copa del Rey quarterfinal against Real Madrid on a Eric Abidal goal set up by Lionel Messi—a goal that came ten minutes after Real's Pepe stomped on Messi's hand in an act that sent commentator Ray Hudson into apop...

New Orleans Police Are Officially Looking For The Teabagger
New Orleans cops now believe an act of sexual battery has occurred in the Krystal teabagging incident, and are seeking the public's help in finding a "person of interest." WWL has the full wanted poster, while the Times-Picayune reports police won't say if the victim is cooperating. WVUE in New Orl...

Disney's ESPN's Bill Simmons Has Committed 98 Potential SOPA Violations On Grantland So Far
ESPN's just one of the prominently featured supporters of SOPA, the law that has your favorite non-Deadspin sites going black today....

Cristiano Ronaldo Went Five-Hole And Drew First Blood In <em>El Clásico</em>
It's a Copa del Rey quarterfinal matchup between Real Madrid and Barcelona, one on which Cristiano Ronaldo made an early mark with this nifty goal between the legs of Barça's José Manuel Pinto. [GOLTV]...

WKRG Admits On-Air That Yes, Our Sports Director's Son Is In The Teabagging Video
Randy Patrick was mysteriously absent from tonight's 10:00 news on WKRG in Mobile, but anchor Mel Showers stood in and briefly noted that as we reported on Deadspin earlier today, Randy's son Patrick Setterstrom is a co-star of the now-famous video of the Alabama teabagging incident....

<em>Philadelphia Daily News</em> Columnist Marcus Hayes Suggests NBA Players Don't Know Who Their Fathers Are
Here's a clip from today's Daily News roundup program on CSN Philly, where a discussion of the Minnesota Wild team members bringing their fathers on a trip to play the Flyers tonight is brought to a grinding halt by columnist Marcus Hayes's "It's a good thing they don't do that in the NBA."...

Alabama TV Station Airs Teabagging Video That Features The Son Of The Station's Sports Director
Mobile, Ala.'s WKRG opened its 10 p.m. newscast with the video of an Alabama fan teabagging an LSU fan at the Bourbon Street Krystal after the BCS title game. What WKRG failed to mention is that one of the stars of the video is none other than Patrick Setterstrom, a recent college grad and son of th...

Chandler Parsons Just Dunked On JaVale McGee
Sure, it's a tip-slam, but if you're 7'0" JaVale McGee then the likes of Chandler Parsons should not be dunking on you—under any circumstances. Parsons then rides around with his crotch in McGee's face for a few seconds just added to the degradation, but these sorts of things are how a team like ...

The Job Of Sumo Referee Is A Dangerous One
Things got scarier than usual Wednesday at the New Year Grand Sumo tournament when gyoji Shozaburo Kimura found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. The referee was knocked unconscious and removed from the auditorium on a stretcher. [Kyodo]...

Hakeem Nicks Hauled In A Halftime Hail Mary
The Green Bay Packers' circumstances for the second half of their playoff game against New York changed enormously when Hakeem Nicks brought down this heave by Eli Manning, turning a three-point Packers deficit into a 20-10 doubling-up. [Fox]...
![NSFW: An Alabama Fan Teabagged A Passed-Out LSU Fan At The Bourbon Street Krystal [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
NSFW: An Alabama Fan Teabagged A Passed-Out LSU Fan At The Bourbon Street Krystal [UPDATE]
Those of us un/fortunate enough to have visited the Krystal restaurant at the mouth of Bourbon Street in New Orleans know it's a place where the occasionally odd, bizarre, or criminal events take place. We don't know which of these this incident is, if not all three. That's especially given that so...

Darius Morris Hit A 50-Foot Contested Buzzer-Beater
Darius Morris hasn't seen much action for the Lakers this season—the rookie guard has tallied all of 55 minutes thus far—but you might be seeing more of him after this buzzer-beater in last night's 102-94 loss to the Clippers. That or it was just a fluke. (It was just a fluke.) [NBA TV]...