st Page 1261 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Gave A Truly Moving Speech After Winning Euro 2016
Literally nothing bad to say about this. Cristiano Ronaldo did a legitimately cool thing. I’m as shocked as you....
“You Shitti Farty Dirty Nasty JUDE Bitch!”: Trump Voters Send Their Best
Donald Trump is about to be president, a white nationalist is whispering in his ear, and Jeff “The Ku Klux Klan Is Alright By Me” Sessions will soon be our attorney general. We are entering a golden age for racists in America. And according to my inbox, these assholes know it....
Peggy Noonan Can Now Reveal Her Secret: Donald Trump Is Nice
Peggy Noonan, the breathless voice of hologram Ronald Reagan, had her doubts about this Donald Trump fellow. But now that he has safely been elected king, she has a very special story to share....
Luke Kuechly Weeps His Way Off The Field After Scary Injury
Panthers star linebacker Luke Kuechly took a nasty head injury in the fourth quarter of tonight’s close game against the Saints. Kuechly had to be carted off and he did not hide his emotions as he was leaving the field. It wasn’t immediately apparent what part of his body exactly Kuechly hurt, but t...
Good Luck Trying To Keep Karl-Anthony Towns From Embarrassing You
Timothé Luwawu-Cabarrot was projected to be an intriguing small forward in the NBA thanks to his smooth athleticism and impressive physical profile. However, in tonight’s game against the Wolves, he merely ended up like an intriguing bug splattered across the windshield after Karl-Anthony Towns dunk...
Houston Is Destroying Fifth-Ranked Louisville Thanks To Some Insane Plays
Louisville came into this evening’s game with Houston with a decent chance of making the playoff. Even if Alabama and Clemson win out, all they had to do was win out and inevitably leapfrog the loser of the Ohio State-Michigan game. Instead, they are in the process of getting turned into jelly by th...
Zach LaVine Pulled Off The Rare Free-Throw Putback Dunk
Zach LaVine has always been an athletic freak capable of jamming it on people and pulling off a wide variety of spectacular dunks. This year, he’s improved his shooting and ballhandling and turned into a very good all-around player for the young Timberwolves. However, he’s also still liable to go of...
Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...
Cobb County Plans To Bulldoze An Entire Neighborhood Next To New Braves Ballpark
The Braves’ new ballpark out in suburban Cobb County was built with $400 million in public money, even though the public had no say in negotiations. The politician who spearheaded the deal got voted out of office this summer, but the park is still scheduled to open next spring. Cobb County may have ...
The Premier League Should Bring Back Standing Sections
The introduction of safe standing was on the agenda at a Premier League meeting today, and reports coming out of it were cautiously optimistic that it could be introduced to the Premier League in the not-so-distant future. That would be a great thing for both fans who attend games and those who watc...
Government Employees On Trump: "Everything. Is. Fucked."
Across the federal government, career employees are reckoning with the prospect of working for a Donald Trump administration. Today, people from the CDC, NLRB, DOT, TSA, and other agencies speak very freely about their hopes and fears....
Ex-Player Fears James Rodríguez Has Become A Whiny Little Brat By Hanging Around Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo is exalted for a great many reasons. He’s also reviled and/or ridiculed for a few others, like his arrogance, his lack of sportsmanship, and his self-centeredness. One retired Colombian player is worried that a compatriot of his, James Rodríguez, has picked up a few too many of Ron...
Johnny Manziel Reaches Plea Deal In Domestic Abuse Case
Former Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel has made a deal with prosecutors that will lead to the dismissal of a domestic assault case involving his former girlfriend, Colleen Crowley....
Ways To Die That Are More Awful Than Dissolving In A Scalding Acid Bath, Ranked
A tourist who fancied a bath in one of Yellowstone National Park’s many geothermal pools slipped while attempting to gauge the temperature of the broth, fell into what turned out to be a deadly near-boiling acid bath, and dissolved. That is about the most metal thing I can imagine, but also he is ex...
When Kristaps Porzingis Is Feeling Himself, Look The Fuck Out
If year one of the Kristaps Porzingis Experience was about promise, year two has been about swagger. The 7-foot-3 Latvian showed as a rookie that he belonged in the NBA, that he can fit in, that neither the pace of play nor the opposing talent were too much for him to handle. Early into his sophomor...
It's Not Your Imagination, Rent Is Less Affordable Now
The rent: is it too damn high? A new economic research paper finds: it is....
Russell Westbrook Dribbled Through Nenê's Legs And It Was So Smooth I'm Not Sure Anyone Noticed
Yeah, we already blogged a Russ highlight from last night’s 105-103 OKC win over Houston. But who’s going to complain about a second one? You? Nah....
Devin Booker Saunters Out, Signs Autograph After Extremely Chill Ejection
The Suns were in the closing stages of a road loss to the Nuggets when young Suns shooting guard Devin Booker made an official mad and got himself tossed. Booker then nonchalantly strolled off the court, but not before saying his goodbyes. He then indulged a pair of fans. ...
The Washington Wizards Are In A Bad Place Right Now
The Wizards are playing like a big pile of dog poop this season, and they delivered their most nauseating performance of the year tonight against the Sixers. Philadelphia didn’t even have their talismanic center Joel Embiid, but they shot 54.5 percent against the Wizards tonight and beat them for ju...
Russell Westbrook Touches The Sky And Ends Clint Capela
All hail Russell Westbrook....