st Page 1282 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ben Simmons Fractures A Bone In His Foot
Philadelphia 76ers number one overall draft pick Ben Simmons has fractured “the fifth metatarsal bone of his right foot,” the team announced. The injury was suffered when he rolled his ankle while scrimmaging earlier today, and the team didn’t announce a projected recovery timeline....
John Farrell To Sassy Fan: "Why Don't You Shut Your Ass Up?"
Last night’s game between the Red Sox and Yankees, the final game the two will play against each other this season, was fairly uneventful. David Ortiz got some cheers from the New York crowd, C.C. Sabathia pitched well, and John Farrell kept most of his stars off the field....
The Cardinals Got A Win They Didn't Deserve Because The Reds Couldn't Hear Their Dugout Phone
There’s a decent chance the NL Wild Card ultimately comes down to this:...
Cardinals Win On Suspicious Walk-Off, Umpires Disappear Before Reds Can Challenge
The St. Louis Cardinals beat the Cincinnati Reds tonight, as Yadier Molina doubled in Matt Carpenter to give the team a critical 4-3 win, keeping them right in the thick of the N.L. Wild Card race. Thing is, Molina’s walk-off hit might have been a ground rule double, which would have left the game t...
MLB Game Ends In A Tie For The First Time Since 2005
Tonight, officials called the Pirates-Cubs game in the sixth inning with the score tied 1-1. Heavy rain in Pittsburgh forced the game to stop for over an hour, and it was eventually called. The two teams are not scheduled to play again this year, and the outcome won’t affect playoff positioning, so ...
Ambitious Running Back Flips Over, Through Would-Be Tackler For Spectacular Touchdown
This here is Michael Anderson of Division II West Virginia Wesleyan, taking the path of most resistance in for the touchdown....
Abdi Abdirahman Still Wins The Party
Abdi Abdirahman said he is “way more relaxed” at 39 than he was when he was younger, causing me to experience a mutifying, brow-furrowing dissonance....
UEFA Fines Celtic Over Fans Flying The Palestinian Flag
A large group of Celtic fans waved Palestinian flags before a Champions League preliminary game against Israeli club Hapoel Be’er Shevae last month. This morning, UEFA announced that they would be fining the club €10,000 for the protest because it violated a UEFA rule regarding the use of political ...
Trusting Anyone In Cycling Is A Loser's Game
It’s been 11 years since Lance Armstrong won his last Tour de France. In the intervening years, cycling has undergone a series of reforms aimed at making the sport, above all else, trustworthy. Lance Armstrong became one of the most hated athletes of all time not because he cheated, but because his ...
Irish Olympic Boxer Bet On Himself To Lose, Won
That fellow up there in the blue is Irish welterweight Steven Donnelly, after his round-of-16 win at the Rio Olympics. Looks happy, doesn’t he? No matter how the bout went, he couldn’t lose....
Detective Curt Schilling Is On The Case Of The Hoboken Train Crash
A train crashed into a station terminal in Hoboken, N.J., this morning, reportedly killing one and injuring over 100. The cause of the crash is still under investigation, but former MLB pitcher Curt Schilling has his own theories....
Mario Balotelli Watches His Goal From His Butt<em></em>
Rejoice, soccer lovers, for the joy of Mario Balotelli scoring goals is once again a regular part of our lives. The on-fire Nice forward added another one today in the Europa League, cracking this ball with a little jump-slide shot and admiring it as it flies into the net from his backside:...
American Fan At Ryder Cup Heckles Europeans, Gets Called Out To Putt For $100, Sinks It
There was tension between the Americans and Europeans at the Ryder Cup thanks to Danny Willett’s brother, but one American heckler in the crowd may have smoothed things over during today’s practice at Hazeltine National Golf Club....
The Cardinals Lost Their 76th Game
The St. Louis Cardinals squandered a perfect chance to tie the game in the bottom of the ninth Wednesday as they lost to the Cincinnati Reds, 2-1....
Aleksandar Mitrović Damn Near Kills Teammate In A Fit Of Ecstasy
Newcastle fought back from a 3-2 deficit against Norwich yesterday with two stoppage time goals to snatch a 4-3 win. Obviously, this had everyone super fuckin’ amped. None more so than Aleksandar Mitrović, who was so caught up in the moment that he almost snapped the winning goalscorer’s neck in cel...
AL East Champion Red Sox Graciously Allow Yankees To Have Cute Little Celebration Of Their Own
There were two parties at Yankee Stadium last night. One was on the field, where the Yankees celebrated their five-run ninth-inning comeback to beat Boston, capped by a walk-off grand slam from Mark Teixeira. The other one came in the visitors’ clubhouse, where by dint of the Orioles’ win over Toron...
Send Us Your College Roommate Horror Stories
At the risk of doomsaying like some David Brooksian “kids these days” reactionary luddite, it must be said: College now seems crueler than ever before....
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....