st Page 1301 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Zlatan Scores, Makes World Reconsider Hatred Of Manchester United In EPL Debut<em></em>
Zlatan Ibrahimović has never once let us down, so there was no question that he would score in his Premier League debut with Manchester United against Bournemouth today; the only question was how. Volley from 40 yards out? Bender from a corner? Hypnosis? If you had your money on “exploiting a near-i...

We Asked Our Friends (And A Few Enemies) To Sign Our Yearbook<em></em>
On Monday of this coming week, all of us at Deadspin will sit down at our computers and write blog posts about sports and other things. On Friday, we will do the same. In between, while we are blogging, our parent company, Gawker Media, will be sold by auction in bankruptcy court. This will end the ...

Heh, Look At This Striker Trick The Shit Out Of This Keeper
And the award for “The guy who feels like the biggest dummy in all of the Netherlands right now” goes to Fortuna Sittard’s Leon ter Wielen. No, you don’t get a speech....

The Cardinals Lost Their 56th Game
The St. Louis Cardinals followed last night’s loss by walk-off walk by getting obliterated in today’s day game. The Chicago Cubs won in a rout, 13-2....

Let's Chat. We're The Deadspin Staff.
It’s spring break no rules around here, so let’s chat!...

How Simone Biles Broke Gymnastics
The following is excerpted from The End of the Perfect 10: The Making and Breaking of Gymnastics’ Top Score—from Nadia to Now by Dvora Meyers, available now from from Touchstone Books....

Your 2014 Deadspin HOF Inductees: Tommy Craggs, A Butthole, And Some Other Stuff
The 2014 Deadspin Hall of Fame class was never inducted, and to remedy that, here they are, two years later. We screwed up. Sorry!...

The Cardinals Lost Their 55th Game
The St. Louis Cardinals utterly humiliated themselves at Wrigley Field Thursday as the Chicago Cubs won in extra innings, 4-3....

Why My Team Rules: The Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are haters of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are FANS of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2016 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the hating-ass hater’s guides to other teams you love here. Drew Magary has a new book out—have you heard?...

Lance Armstrong Was Awesome, And Anyone Who Disagrees Is A Narc<em></em>
Lance Armstrong was a very good cyclist, perhaps the best the greatest who ever lived. Anyone who says otherwise is ignoring history....

Simone Biles Just Put A Historic Whooping On The Women's Gymnastics Field<em></em>
Simone Biles, American hero, finished her dominant victory in the women’s all-around gymnastics competition with a 15.933 in the floor routine. She ended up 2.1 points clear of silver medalist Aly Raisman, which is higher than the combined margins of victory from every all-around competition from 19...

Here's The Very Last Virgilbag Ever
The Virgilbag is dead and is never coming back. Here are some wrestler run-in stories you sent us anyway....

BBC Equestrian Announcers Sound Very Horny For Dressage
Yes, yes, BBC dressage announcers were very taken with Charlotte Dujardin’s performance today atop Valegro, which is a horse and not a black market allergy medication. We are not sure if your announcers were wearing pants during this broadcast. It is possible that they were not, or perhaps wished th...

Deadspin 25: Wisconsin's Insane Schedule Will Do It No Favors
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...

Internal Email, Texts Reveal NDSU President Endorsed Banning Media Outlets
When NDSU president Dean Bresciani rescinded a ban on news organizations covering the Bison unless they paid for media rights last week, he condemned the policy—stating that he was “profoundly disappointed” in it. Internal emails and texts acquired by SayAnythingBlog.com’s Rob Port reveal that Bresc...

Prince Fielder's Retirement Press Conference Was Sad As Hell
Rangers slugger Prince Fielder has been forced to retire from baseball at age 32. Fielder, who has been struggling at the plate this year, recently underwent his second spinal fusion surgery in the last three years, and doctors have told him that he is no longer physically capable of playing basebal...

What Do You Think Mr. T Is Daydreaming About? Draw It Here.
While cleaning up around my office this week, I found my old Mr. T coloring book from back in the 80's. Now, I am offering you the opportunity to exhibit your artistic talents. What do you think Mr. T is daydreaming about? Draw it here:...

We Must Destigmatize Farting
Bolder minds envision a world free of strife, hunger, inequality. My utopia is a little more modest and attainable: a world where people pass gas freely and openly whenever they have to, unfettered by social mores....

<i>SI</i>'s Peter King: I Like To Eat Diarrhea, It's Good, Mmm, Gimme That Hot Diarrhea With Onions
Here is Peter King, a face drawn on the side of Roger Goodell’s hand, telling you two ways that he likes to eat diarrhea. He likes to eat diarrhea on top of spaghetti with onions and cheese, and he likes to eat diarrhea on a hot dog, also with onions, but with no mustard....
