st Page 1982 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Obie The Orange Bowl Mascot Leaves The Hospital, Probably With A Really Intense Painkiller Addiction
It's been nearly a week since Obie was destroyed by WVU's Darwin Cook, and he (she!) is in for a lifetime of physical therapy and never-ending pain. But, baby steps. The Orange Bowl tweeted a photo of Obie leaving the hospital this afternoon, with a message for Cook....
Joe Paterno's Son Will Not Coach At Penn State Next Year
After 17 years spent working under his father, Joe, Jay Paterno confirmed today that he will not be a part of Bill O'Brien's coaching staff in Happy Valley next season. The younger Paterno said he and O'Brien spoke together and "reached the conclusion" that Jay would move on. Sounds peaceful! [AP, J...
DeSean Jackson Was Posing For Photos In A Strip Club At 6 A.M.
You know the old saying about how nothing good happens after 2 a.m.? Do things turn good again when the sun comes up? We hope so for DeSean Jackson's sake, because the Eagles receiver started showing up in Twitter photos at a Miami strip club early this morning....
Baseball's Hall Of Fame Voters Are Irrational, But Not For The Reasons You Think
Last year, Bert Blyleven, the former Twins right-hander whose Hall of Fame candidacy was long a cause among the stathead community, got into Cooperstown on his 14th ballot. But was it really a triumph of rational thinking or merely the product of a different kind of irrationality? We revisit what we...
Sean Salisbury Says Goodbye To A.J. Daulerio, Whom He Once Sued
We're still roasting our former editor A.J. Daulerio, who has moved across the room to edit Gawker, a theater industry trade publication. Our guest now is Sean Salisbury, a former ESPN analyst and our onetime adversary....
All The 3:16 Bible Verses, Ranked By How Likely They Are To Foretell Tim Tebow As The Messiah
Ryan Fitzpatrick, Matt Ryan, Aaron Rodgers all had games in which they threw for 316 yards this season: nobody cares until Tim Tebow does it. Everyone's seeking meaning in random numbers, even asking for comment from "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, as if he was the first to claim the 3:16 verse as his ow...
Does Anybody Know A Nine-Year-Old Power-Hitting Catcher In Raleigh?
I'm not sure why I'm so taken by this Craigslist posting, sent in by a pair of readers, seeking a very specific sort of ballplayer for a Wake County (N.C.) 9U travel team. Maybe it's because all the nine-year-olds we remember from little league swung as hard as they could on every pitch, and because...
The Crying Alabama Fan Gets The Last Laugh
You do remember the crying Bama fan, don't you? Dressed like Bear Bryant, a blonde sorority girl on his arm, moved to tears by an overtime loss in the Game of the Century. He headed down to New Orleans this weekend, where he was recognized by an LSU fan who just happened to have a blown up photo of ...
Chronicling Brent Musburger's "Honey Badger" Obsession: A Video Compilation
Brent Musburger was oddly enamored with LSU safety Tyrann Mathieu's nom de guerre, uttering it a mystifying 14 times during tonight's broadcast of the BCS title game on ESPN. (He had the over.) Here are all of Brent's "Honey Badgers" for your.. enjoyment?...
A Touchdown Was Scored In An LSU-Alabama Game. Here's The Proof.
It took 115 minutes (not counting overtime) of playing each other this season, but a touchdown has finally been scored between Alabama and LSU. You can thank Trent Richardson. [ESPN]...
There's A Four-Letter Word On The Four-Letter Network At The 3-D Party
Well that's unfortunate....
This Is Not Actually The Halftime Score, ESPN
I mean, it is, but that team should have that much and that team should have that much. Close enough. The production truck's only half paying attention; field goals will do that....
Barry Larkin Is In The Hall Of Fame
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...
Uncivil: How Paul Finebaum Keeps The SEC's Dixie Aroused
The Southeastern Conference (SEC) is the brawniest thing in college football right now, and a scrawny man, Paul Finebaum, sits atop it....
With New OT Rules, Demaryius Thomas Didn't Realize The Game Was Over
So, this new playoff overtime. It's more fair, but it's also confusing. This is because hypotheticals are confusing, and I would rather have Phil Simms orgasm an explanation after the fact than have to keep in mind multiple scenarios while the game is still going on. The new, non-sudden death OT can...
City Of New York Cancels Mutton-Bustin', Rodeo's Greatest Event
The scores of finance bros and curious onlookers who crowded into Madison Square Garden for the arena's annual dabble in rodeo over the weekend did not get an authentic picture of the tradition. They had overpriced pints of light beer and Cracker Jacks; some, I'm sure, had worn plaid and cowboy hats...
Dustin Penner Is Out With Pancake-Related Back Spasms
The L.A. Kings winger missed Saturday's game, and is questionable for tonight. He's still trying to get over a recent onset of back spasms, triggered by an insidiously hearty breakfast....
Todd Bozeman Is In Trouble Again, This Time For (Maybe) Hitting One Of His Players
That would be the same Todd Bozeman whose once-promising coaching career hit a snag when he was at Cal in the mid-1990s because he admitted he had paid a recruit's family $30,000. The affair kept Bozeman away from the college game for 10 years after the NCAA slapped him with a show-cause penalty, b...
Are NFL Coaches Getting Smarter About Fourth-Down Strategy?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
The Secret Service Says Delonte West Was Never Banned From The White House
When he wasn't playing basketball games this weekend, Delonte West spent his days engaged in leisurely Twitter meltdowns: He complained about his salary and his team, and related it all to the media's portrayal of him since his arrest in 2009. He also singled out one particular writer who he says ne...