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Kwame Brown's Season Likely Over After He Hurt Himself Fouling Someone
An MRI revealed a torn muscle in his chest, so Brown needs surgery that could keep him sidelined for up to three months. The injury happened Tuesday night when he fouled Udonis Haslem. So goes the No. 1 draft pick's reinvention as an arguably useful defensive stopper. [Marin Independent Journal]...

Bud Selig Can't Hear You: A Gallery
In honor of Commissioner for Life Bud Selig's new contract, we give you this metaphorically rich gallery, which we first ran in September 2010. ...

Bonnie Bernstein Defends Holly Rowe's Sharp Elbows
We all got a kick out of watching Holly Rowe bust out the sharp elbows to establish her turf after last week's Sugar Bowl. We were amused again to discover it wasn't the first time Rowe had thrown around some muscle in the name of postgame journalism. But there's a reason Rowe does this, and it's ...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Balotelli showed up unannounced at a Manchester school, where he asked students if there was a bathroom he could use. [via Dirty Tackle]...

The Homer In Winter: In Defense Of Tommy Heinsohn
Republished with permission from The Classical. Illustration by Jacob Weinstein....

The BCS Trophy Is Touring Alabama, And We Need Your Help
We've made it a little tradition around here to gather photographs from the BCS Coaches' Trophy's annual superstore tour of Alabama. (See last year's delightful gallery of Auburn fans at Walmart.) This year's a little different. Sadly, Walmart is out, but two supermarkets and a sporting goods store ...

Anthony Mason Is Now Wisconsin's Second-Worst Tax Offender, And Latrell Sprewell Is Off The List
Over the summer, we learned that former NBA player Latrell Sprewell was officially Wisconsin's worst tax scofflaw, thanks to the state's public list of the top 100 delinquent taxpayers. Back then, Sprewell owed more than $3.5 million—but as of this week, he's no longer on the list. Anthony Mason, wh...

One Of Massachusetts's Best High School Wrestlers Is A Girl
Unlike a girl in Iowa last year, who competed mostly against girls before becoming the first to win a state tournament match because her male opponent refused to face her, North Andover's Danielle Coughlin is taking on the boys—and beating them. She's currently ranked sixth in the state in the 106-...

NCAA's "Cecil Newton Rule" Closes A Loophole That Should Have Been Closed 50 Years Ago
Did you know there was a big Cam Newton scandal? It's true! People were getting all mad about it and everything! I know we've all got short memories, and Newton's better known for being Tim Tebow, but black and good, but it was just 14 short months ago that the NCAA was rocked by reports that Newton...

Jermaine O'Neal's Right Fist Was His Best Defense Against Vince Carter
Your morning roundup for Jan. 12, the day we learned another way to get rid of tumors. Photo via The Last Calrissian. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

A Week Before He Was Charged With Child Sex Abuse, Jerry Sandusky Watched A Football Game From The Penn State President's Stadium Suite
That's according to what former Nittany Lions linebacker Brandon Short said during an appearance Wednesday afternoon on ESPN's Outside the Lines (audio above). Citing what he called "two independent sources," Short said Jerry Sandusky watched Penn State defeat Illinois from the box that belonged t...

Stephen A. Smith Plays Blutarsky To Skip Bayless's Fawning Coed In This <em>First Take</em> Parody Of <em>Animal House</em>
While most of what actually airs on ESPN First Take is unwatchable trash, the show's web content occasionally comes through with evidence there's at least a few people behind the scenes with self-awareness....

Ousted Penn State Athletic Director And Accused Perjurer Tim Curley Has Lung Cancer
He had part of one lung removed in 2010, and is now being monitored again. Sources told the Patriot-News of Harrisburg that Curley "wanted to keep his situation private, because he didn't want it to appear he was trying to get sympathy as his trial nears." [Patriot-News]...

That Is One Huge-Ass Spartan Tattoo, MSU Redshirt Freshman Special Teamer
Nick Hill has played all of 15 games for Michigan State, mostly as a kick returner. He's feeling good about the team and confident in his job security, because now there's no way he can ever transfer. [It's Always Sunny in Detroit]...

What If Tim Tebow Were Gay? Your Hypothetical Tebow Questions, Answered
We get a lot of questions at the Deadspin Funbag, but the question we were asked most often during this NFL season was some variation of the following:...

What If Tim Tebow Had A Baby With White Michael Vick?
The spiritual and genetic descendant of this and this....

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Hi, Tide!
It's time for the final installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be....

If Tim Tebow And Michele Bachmann Had A Baby, It Would Look Like Justin Bieber, NFL.com Reports
The National Football League has gone ahead and filled in what was really the only remaining question in global Tim Tebow coverage: Hypothetically, what would Tim Tebow's spawn look like were he to procreate with the weirdest array ever of female celebrities and public figures ever? Hypothetically....
![A Couple Of Beer-Swilling Guys With Beards Sat On The Mavericks' Bench Tonight In Detroit [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
A Couple Of Beer-Swilling Guys With Beards Sat On The Mavericks' Bench Tonight In Detroit [UPDATE]
At first glance, it looks like these two jokers kicking back with beers simply had seats at the end of the Dallas bench, but it soon becomes obvious they're actually seated between Delonte West and Vince Carter. It's tough to tell whether the best part of this is the video itself—complete with t...

Drunk Chick Punches Cab Driver, Plays "American With Disabilities" Card
The words that Kristin "Krazii" Beriau used to describe herself on her soon-to-be-privatized Facebook page are as follows: "i dont give a FUCK wat anyone thinks of me cuz i no im fabolous, i love to party and chill, im friendly and sometimes a bitch, sexy, KRAZII, and above all, i am a dime....some...