st Page 1995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A New Study Ranks The Penn State Football Team No. 1 In Academic Performance
The New America Foundation unveiled its annual Academic Bowl Championship Series results today, and the great program in Happy Valley topped the list, followed by Boise State, TCU, and Stanford....

Jerry Sandusky Re-Arrested On Additional Charges That He Performed Oral, Anal Sex On Pre-Teen Boys
Jerry Sandusky was re-arrested on 12 additional charges of sexual abuse today. He was reportedly dressed in a Penn State track suit at the time of his arrest in State College. While "at least" five more people have come forward with allegations against the former football assistant since the origina...

Buffalo Schoolteachers Charged With Humping In The Bathroom At This Weekend's Bills Game
Making sex in the bathroom is never the brightest nor most hygienic idea, to say nothing of the typical stall conditions at an NFL stadium used by 70,000 people. That goes for fucking on the floor of the pristine new Cowboys Stadium, and it definitely goes for whatever two grade school teachers were...

Florida Mom Wants To Change The Name Of Her Child, Spurrier Urban Wiley
I want to reveal to you a big secret, that college football would rather not have you know: sometimes coaches don't stay with a single team forever, and sometimes they even take other jobs. Scandalous....

"Do You Think Your Nomination Into The HOF Illegitimizes The HOF?" And Other Awkward Questions For Tim McCarver
The media conference call with Tim McCarver that accompanied this morning's announcement of his Hall of Fame award got off to a rocky start (which may have been our fault) when the first question was "What, exactly, is your vendetta against the New York Yankees?" It went downhill from there, espec...

Jerry Sandusky Applied For A Coaching Job Last Year, Was Rejected For Pretty Obvious Reasons
The investigation into Jerry Sandusky's alleged sex abuse of the boy now known as Victim 1 began in 2008, and a grand jury was impaneled in 2009 to look into claims from additional victims, but that didn't stop ol' Jerry from seeking a job as a volunteer assistant coach at Division III Juniata Coll...

The Foolproof Way To Find Out How Many Women Wear Thongs
Your morning roundup for Dec. 7, the day we learned the alien search is back on. Photo via Fox DC. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Barry Zito Ties The Knot, Looks Ridiculous In Wedding Photo
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

The Big East Apparently Plans To Save Itself By Having Members In All 50 States
In 2013, Boise State and San Diego State are joining for football only, while Houston, Southern Methodist, and Central Florida are coming for all sports. CBS Sports, which broke the story, has provided the handy map you see above to display the conference's electoral chances in 2012 clusterfuck of ...

Now A 19-Year-Old Says Jerry Sandusky Abused Him At A Penn State Football Building In 2004
That would be two years after Sandusky was to have had his keys to the facility taken away by Penn State officials, according to the grand jury summary, though Sandusky himself has acknowledged his access was never restricted. The boy, who is not one of the eight victims cited by the grand jury, sa...

Are You Ready For This Mustache?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Fantasy Curling Is A Real Thing, And It Is Glorious
Remember how much fun we agreed curling was during the 2010 Winter Olympics in that city that got burned down? We had the choke-tastic American captain, that Canadian lady everyone loved, and everyone wrote about it the same way....

Stephon Marbury Does His Own Laundry In China
The Wall Street Journal visited Stephon Marbury in Beijing, where he's still playing ball for the CBA's undefeated Beijing Ducks and basking in the "serenity and peace of the country." Marbury is so zen he's even folding his own laundry in a modestly sized apartment. It's like StarburyTV never even ...

Report: All Eight Accusers Will Testify Against Jerry Sandusky At Next Week's Hearing
The preliminary hearings for Jerry Sandusky's child abuse case begin at the Centre County Court in Bellefonte, Pa., a week from today, and an ABC News report indicates that all eight alleged victims will testify against him....

David Lee Watched Phil Hellmuth Play Poker Into The Wee Hours Last Night
Tipster Calvin writes in, frankly:...

Brian Cashman The Elf, Ken Rosenthal The Ninja, And Other Rumblings Around The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Tim Tebow Is Making Me Question My Atheism
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Paterno, Chairman Of Jerry Sandusky's Charity Were Pursuing $125M Real Estate Deal When Sandusky Was Caught Allegedly Sodomizing Boy
One might be tempted to say this thickens the plot, but let's resist temptation and merely state the facts: When Mike McQueary told Joe Paterno in 2002 that he'd seen Jerry Sandusky raping a 10-year-old boy in the shower, Paterno was in business with longtime Second Mile board chairman Robert Poole ...

Securities And Exchange Commission Investigating Marlins' Stadium Deal Because Of Fishy Accounting
We've written before about the deplorable public financing of stadium projects, and so we're excited to see the Miami Marlins' gleaming boondoggle face the SEC's federal scrutiny. Investigators have subpoenaed Marlins financial records and communications between Bud Selig and owner Jeffrey Loria, am...

Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...