st Page 2238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Victor/Victoria
Androgynous distance runner Caster Semenya has won the 800 final at the track and field world championships, shaving more than a second off the year's fastest time as if it were an unwanted penis. [IAAF]...

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is Rick Reilly's Virtual Bodyguard?
Avid readers of Rick Reilly®'s Wikipedia entry might've noticed a recent change: It is now, in every sense of the word, toothless....

Why Your Team Sucks: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Brendan Haywood Apologizes For Gay-Panicky Dig At Marbury
"I don't support or condemn homosexuality," Haywood explains agnostically, before diving into the comments and discoursing with the rabble on such matters as race, sexuality, the First Amendment and showering with men. [Yardbarker]...

She's The Man?
South African distance runner Caster Semenya will run in tonight's women's 800-meter final at the track and field world championships in Berlin, despite concerns that she's a dude pulling a reverse Yentl on the world....

Don Ohlmeyer Addresses Roethlisberger Story, Learns What "Ombudsman" Means
Former NBC executive Don Ohlmeyer actually opened his first ESPN ombudsman column by reciting the definition of "ombudsman" from the dictionary. And also like a bad graduation speech, he takes way too long to get to the point....

They Lost The 'Devil,' But The Rays Are Still Goth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Major Leaguer Says What We're All Thinking, Likely To Be Fined For It
Jack Cust: "It's kind of funny they spent all that money on the Mitchell Report and a bunch of hearsay and the guy who made all the money off it happened to work for the Red Sox." [AP]...

The Greatest H-O-R-S-E Shot You'll See All Year
That's K-State guard Denis Clemente doing a credible impression of the Bird/Jordan "Nothing But Net" McDonald's commercials....

Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...

Words That Cris Carter Shouldn't Use During Live Television
me·shug·ge·neh (m-shg-n) or me·shug·ge·ner (-nr) adj. Crazy; senseless.n. One who is crazy. [ESPN/YouTube]...

Apologies For The Delays But There Is A Troublesome Dong Infecting Gawker Media
I've been told it has something to do with Dr. McSteamy's wang(NSFW) clogging up Gawker's publishing system. I'm just quoting from an inter-office memo circulating around. As you were....

Welcome To The Suck
So we have Viking fans storming Winter Park. We have ESPN following Brett Favre's black SUV via helicopter....

Nationals Sign Strasburg At The Buzzer; Anti-Boras Demagoguing To Begin Shortly
The Nationals locked up the best pitching prospect ever with 77 seconds to spare, and Scott Boras once again nudged the whole draft right up to the point of going tilt....

Tim Tebow And His Even Dirtier GQ Pictures
The Sideline Princess shoot was fine, but those aren’t even the naughtiest pictures of a Florida alum in GQ this month. The lurid full-page centerfold of a sweaty, shirtless Tim Tebow is positively filthy....and comes with drooling prose to match....

Victorino Beer Drencher Inspires Fans Around The World
An Australian Rules Footballer was the victim of a copycat beer thrower, no doubt inspired by the Wrigley Field hooligans who doused Phillie Shane Victorino. You mess with the bull, you get a cup of Foster's thrown in your face....

This Story Is Trying To Break Your Heart, Part II
For those who, like me, are pathetic saps when it comes to feel-good stories of fathers, sons, and sports well the tale of Miami Hurricane walk-on Chris Hayes will destroy you. WARNING: Some of you may cry. [Sun-Sentinel]...

Brendan Haywood Thinks Stephon Marbury May Have A Touch Of Scary Gayness
Or, as he put it, "swinging from both sides of the fence", which is what the Wiz center concluded after he watched some of Marbury's ridiculous live-streaming marathons from a couple weeks ago....

Nicholls State Mascot Will Smash Capitalism, Slash You In The Face
Greetings, Comrades! Nicholls State was named in honor of a former Confederate officer, but since the Civil War is (mostly) over, the school decided their Southern Gentlemen Warrior mascot needed an refresh. So now he's a bloodthirsty fascist oppressor....