st Page 2243 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....
Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....
If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...
What I've Learned
"Just a reminder, Ben Cohen is Deadspin's summer intern," A.J. wrote in May. "His time at Deadspin... is part of his educational and life experience. So consider yourselves all mentors." Well, I thought then, this should be fairly catastrophic....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: U.S. Cellular Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Chicago White Sox's U.S. Cellular Field....
9 Days Is A Long Time To Hold A Grudge
"N.Y. Post sports writers have been told they are welcome to return to ESPN television and radio programs, effective immediately." [Watchdog/DeitschTwitter]...
Starred Commenter Theater: Cannonball
Canada's Eric Sehn dives in the men's 10m platform preliminaries at the World Championships last week. [Reuters via The Big Picture]...
Where In The World Was Matthew Stafford?
We asked where these photos of Matthew Stafford's summer vacation were taken, and boy, did we get some answers. It's just too bad they all contradicted each other....
The One With Assorted Handsy Photos And Absurd Complaints
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
July: <i>Fin.</i>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from June July, starting with No. 10....
American Sports Need More PowerPoint Presentations
Michael Owen—remember the "Michael Jordan of soccer" talk?—put together a 32-page brochure about his accomplishments and handsomeness to try and convince teams to give him a contract. Nothing says "dangerous goal scorer" quite like bar graphs! [DailyMirror/Decleater]...
In Which We Drink In The Hilarious Naivete Of Red Sox Nation
Michael Schur (aka Ken Tremendous) is smarter and funnier than I'll ever be. That's why I was floored yesterday to see him post this on Twitter:...
Curt Schilling Talks To Curt Schilling About David Ortiz
Nothing really happens to the Red Sox until Curt Schilling says it happens, so the pitching maestro sat down with himself for an informative Q & A about how the David Ortiz situation affects Curt Schilling....
And Why Does A San Francisco Gallery Have A Nude Photo Of Joe DiMaggio On Display?
Great question. Taken around 1940, The Daily Beast informs us that the rare (NSFW) photo "reveals the naked Yankee slugger soaking wet and grinning happily." I think Joe D needs a new nickname. Please help. [TheDailyBeast]...
PapiGate, Straight From The Hub's Mouth
In the wake of today's David Ortiz revelations, Deadspin takes an schadenfreudian informative look at the reaction from the comment boards of Boston's newspapers. Let's witness the five stages of grief in one afternoon, plus plenty of trolling....
Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...
How Matthew Stafford Is Spending His Summer Vacation
Clearly, these photos were taken far from Detroit. If you have any more information — where Stafford is, or why he's not surrounded by the Detroit Lions — let us know. That's all for now. Petchesky Fantastico is here tonight....
Muscly Nuisance Has Some Thoughts About Latest Steroid Revelations
"What I speak out of my mouth is the truth," says Jose Canseco, sounding very much like a man carrying two stone tablets down Mount Sinai. "It burns like fire. Just remember, I have never lied about this subject."...
David Ortiz Has Your Comment Right Here
Down by two, bottom of the seventh ... three-run home run by Big Papi. Now what were you saying about 2003? [Video via NESN/MLB Network]...
Starred Commenter Theater: The Watermelonheads
Fans, wearing watermelons on their heads, watch the Rays-Blue Jays game in Toronto on Saturday. [Canadian Press/Associated Press via WSJ]...