st Page 2249 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Home Run Derby Will Rot Your Will To Live
As it turns out, Chris Berman might be the only person pitched at the right frequency for the Home Run Derby. After three hours of that — three hours! — I was almost afraid I didn't like baseball anymore....
Nike Just Steals It
A woman in California is accusing the King Kong of clothing companies of stealing her trademarked slogan. Thankfully, this is America, where large, filthy rich corporations don't stand a chance against your average Jane Citizen....
Report: Unnamed Amorous Ballplayer Plays For Team That Appropriately Doesn't Know How To Score
Onetime declared virgin Jeff Pearlman knows which baseball player was cold mackin' on an intern in Houston recently, but he's not telling. All he'll say is that the ballplayer was — are you ready for this? — a Washington National....
![You Knew You Could Count On Shaq For A Micheal Jackson [<i>Sic</i>] Tribute](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The "Pacman" Jones Strip Club Shooting Gets Its Warren Report
The Las Vegas Review-Journal has launched a massive three-part investigation into the strip club incident that cost Adam Jones a year of football and another man his ability to walk. Oh, the things we have seen .......
Robert Lunn Leaves Austria With His Dignity (Mostly) Intact
Robert Lunn is a former defensive tackle from UConn. He graduated in 2008 and was playing professional football in Pörtschach, Austria. Sadly, he's back in the U.S. now, so this is his final column....
Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
I took my three-year-old to see Up the other day. We left after an hour because she didn't want to stick around (Thanks for burning my money, kid). But that hardly mattered....
New Zealand Athlete Needs Escort To The Olympics
Logan Campbell, a taekwando fighter from New Zealand, needs money to fund his bid for the 2012 Olympics, because $NZ300,000 is a lot of money, currency calculator reveals. Campbell's plan? Open a brothel. But of course!...
Even Satan's Minions Love Albert Pujols
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning cra...
Oddly Enough, Married Athletes Are Still Foolin' Around
And here I thought Steve McNair's death would eradicate unfaithfulness among sports figures, the same way Charles Barkley's DUI was the last one of those to ever happen....
All-Star Party At Old Man Leyland's Cancelled
Jim Leyland's wife was going to host an All-Star Game party, but he requested a nice, peaceful night at home. (Translation: he wants to do it.) [MLive]...
If They Were Athletes: The Robots From <i>Mega Man II</i>
You've thought to yourself, "Y'know, those extremely agile and powerful Nintendo characters would be great at sports." But who would they be, if manifested in reality?...
Yes, It's For A Completely Different Individual, Who's Not Me
"My grandson is 'in love' with Shawn Johnson, the Olympic gymnast. Do you know where I could get an 8 by 10 picture or poster of her?" [Cape Cod Times]...
Hopefully The Stories Will Be Laid To Rest As Well
Thousands, including Vince Young, Brett Favre, Ray Lewis and Jay Cutler, gather for Steve McNair's funeral in Hattiesburg, Miss. [CNN]...
Tennis Stalking: Now With 100% Less Stabbing
Two days before the Indian tennis star's (arranged) engagement, two separate "lovelorn youth" were arrested for trying to profess their love to Sania Mirza at her Hyderabad home. [Times Of India]...
Mad Dog Goes Rabid, Needs To Be Put Down (SECOND UPDATE)
What can only be described as one of sports talk radio's most epic meltdowns happened two days ago. But since it happened on satellite radio, nobody knows a got-dang thing about it....
Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...
Farewell, Judgmental Strangers
Well Deadspin, it's been a productive day. Sunrise, sunset, the earth turns, people fall in love, a tree falls on a hipster. Does it seem like I'm stalling? Because I am. I really have nothing more to say....
Teammate Is Totally Undermining Lance Armstrong
Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP]...
Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson Have Cozy Lover's Dinner With Bob Costas And Wife
Possible conversation topics: Goldie Hawn's radiant skin, Selena Roberts' lesbianism, 'Whatever happened to the kid in "Almost Famous"?', Ken Burns: toupee or not toupee, depreciation of Manhattan real estate market, Clete Boyer, "BASEketball." [NYP]...