st Page 2269 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Even On Their Special Day, NYU Grads Aren't Allowed To Soil Yankee Stadium's Legends Suite
Meet your NYU Class of 2009:the smelly riff-raff. Do we know if the Yankees have hired snipers to keep the Legends Suite safe from the non-black AmEx-ers? [Subway Chatter]...

Pit Crews Are "More Competitive Than Football"
Former Wake Forest linebacker Dion Williams went pro in something else—he's now a tire man in Mark Martin's pit crew. [That's Racin']...

Citi Field Streaking Jabroni Faces Stiff Consequences
38-year-old Craig Coakley made a bet with his boss that he'd streak across Citi Field with a stuffed monkey jockstrap. He succeeded! Now he's never allowed back to Citi Field again....

Tony Banks On Dirk Nowitzki's Lady Friend: I Know That "Chick"
Former NFL QB Tony Banks says he remembers Crystal Taylor—Dirk Nowitzki's jailed "girlfriend"—because she tried to scam him almost ten years ago. He's got quite a tale to tell....

Roger Clemens Will Win Back America One E-mail At A Time
It appears Roger Clemens wants to reach out and have an e-mail chat with some of the skeptical, heartbroken Astros fans. Where will he conduct this revealing online q-and-a session? Houstonist. com, of course....

Dwight Howard Would Like The Ball More But There's One Problem With That
"Dwight Howard has no moves. He's a dominant force, and well deserving of that Defensive Player of the Year, but his moves are crap." Disagree! But that's why Stan Van Gundy will be fired. [BallDon'tSKEET]...

There Is No "Tag Team" High School Wrestling
A jury is currently deliberating the case of a New Jersey dad who attacked his son's wrestling opponent during a match. He didn't even wait for his entrance music. [Zapruder-like footage @ Star-ledger]...

USC Athletics Not Entirely Above Board
Are you sitting down for this? It seems that USC—the Trojans!—might not be the most outstanding citizens in the world of college recruiting. Set your faces to stunned....

Yankee Stadium Doesn't Want Any Of You Smelly Riff-Raff Troubling The Rich Folk
If you want a human face to put on the new, already-insufferable Yankee Stadium, you'll find none better than the smirking man at left. Meet Lonn Trost, a man of lordly disdain for the not-rich....

Matt Vasgersian: “I Am An Enormous Jagoff”
Our Deadcast guest this week is Matt Vasgersian, anchor for MLB TV, FOX play-by-play announcer, and fan of the site. And, untethered by network restrictions, Matt had some pretty cool shit to say....

Yankee Fans Should Relocate To Safeco Field
If you want to watch the Mariners play the Yankees up close, it's cheaper to fly to Seattle and spend an entire weekend, then buy two front-row seats at Yankee Stadium. [Kottke]...

And Now The Smooth Christian Rock Stylings Of Ben Utecht
Cincinnati tight end Ben Utecht just dropped his first album, a collection of gospel-tinged inspirational power ballads—because when you think "Bengals football" you should also think about the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ....

Old Boy Network To Let Broad Run In Preakness
Calvin Borel will dump his 50-1 miracle horse to ride Rachel Alexandra—a chick!—in the Preakness, the first Kentucky Derby-winning jockey to switch rides between the two Triple Crown races. [AP]...

Sportswriting Declared Dead. Again.
Next month's Texas Monthly has a story about the death of sportswriting. It's official: Writing about the death of sportswriting is finally dead....

Sucker Punch Earns Slap On The Wrist, Critics Give League Knuckle Sandwich
Since Walker's one-man fight earned an instigator penalty in the final minutes of the game, he was automatically suspended for one game and his coach was fined $10,000 as mandated by league rules. Except the rule also allows the league to rescind that automatic suspension, which sort of the negates ...

The L.A. Times Pens The Mother Of All Steroid Columns
Here it is, folks. Served up piping hot by Kurt Streeter in Sunday's Los Angeles Times — the platonic ideal of a steroid-outrage column....

Gary “Baba Booey” Dell'abate Becomes Latest Celebrity To Emasculate Himself With First-Pitch Disaster
This is truly awful. It's actually worse than his wince-worthy ex-girlfriend apology videos. But at least we now know who taught him how to throw a baseball. [YouTube]...

Once Again, Amazing Happened For The Celtics
The parody videos of the NBA's goose-bumping "Where Amazing Happens" videos are phenomenal (Teen Wolf, Hoosiers, etc.) And when something legitimately amazing happens, thankfully, YouTube genius AndrewB cobbled one together immediately after last night's amazingness....

Just Give Your Car Keys To Aaron Brooks And He'll Park It For You
Either the Houston Rockets veterans had a little fun with Aaron Brooks this weekend or he forgot to bring his ventriloquist dummy to the post-game press conference....

Lou Merloni Will Blow This Steroid Business Wide Open
Here's one more tidbit that should cap off Boston's excellent weekend of excellence—Lou Merloni's accusation that the Red Sox hired a doctor to instruct players on proper steroid use. Uh oh....