st Page 2270 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Phelps Loves Chewing Tobacco, Loves Threesomes With Strippers
Nobody does news quite like UK's News Of The World and their latest shocking exposé is no exception—a bare-all interview with a Baltimore "dancer" who claims she double-teamed Olympic hero Michael Phelps...

Three Faces Of Boston Fandom
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Rockets and Lakers: It's About To Get Nasty
After losing yet another starter, the Rockets are about to try to prove that they can win without Yao. If Ron Artest can keep himself from getting ejected, they might have a shot....

Top Draft Prospect About To Get Paid
Top draft prospect Stephen Strasburg pitched a 17 K, no hitter in his last home game at San Diego State. Expect the Nationals to draft him before getting anally raped by his agent, Scott Boras....

Yao Breaks His Foot, Done for the Year
The Houston Rockets announced yesterday evening that Yao Ming will be out for the rest of the playoffs with a hairline fracture in his left foot. Adjust your bets accordingly....

Rusty Kuntz Is Milking A Cow
Yes, that's one of the most unintentionally disturbing sentences you'll ever see written. Great photo-op, though, for the upstart Royals. But it happened....

An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...

There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....

Pistons' Coach Chuck Daly Dies
Pancreatic cancer. He was 78. [Freep]...

Orlando Is Trying To Ruin Everything
The Magic trounced the Celtics 117-96. Dwight Howard's shoulders had 17 points, 14 rebounds and 5 blocks. Magic lead Celtics 2-1.[ESPN]...

Lance Armstrong Turned Off By Sheryl Crow's Incessant Babymaking Demands
Yes, we know: You've been incontinent with suspense about what rent asunder the sacred ugly-bumping bond between four-hundred-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, the singer who had that song that time....

John Tesh Offers You $20K To Rap-Dribble-And Dance Your Way To Total Humiliation
And you'd also like the chance for your equally inept rhyming abilities to earn you exciting cash and prizes? Yeah, we can hook you up with that. Please wear a helmet before viewing to ensure the mess from your brain's imminent, messy explosion doesn't stain the wallpaper. And we'll even get you sta...

The First Manny-less Night In Mannywood
While Manny Ramirez began his hCG-detox in the Suspension Lounge deep within Scott Boras's Orange County compound, his now-abandoned team had to carry on without its lovable floppy-haired, hormone-abusing left fielder....

No One Shows Up To Watch Jose Canseco Do His 'I Told You So' Dance About Manny
Pity Jose Canseco....

A Note From The Guest Editor
Greetings from Los Angeles, the charming little front-running town that just suffered a devastating cockpunch from a left-fielder who's being unfairly persecuted for his totally innocent use of a female fertility drug....

Jenn Sterger Says Goodbye To The Jets
She's leaving the Gang Green meet-and-greet team to pursue acting and playing for the Minnesota Vikings. Also? She's going to be a guest bartender at "The Hill" in Murray Hill tomorrow night. [NYP]...

Deadspin Very Special Guest Editor Days: Part II
As noted yesterday, the last one went so well. But this time around, we'll actually be featuring a person who enjoys sports and will probably wake up before 1:30 p.m. I hope....

Matt Garza and Bristol Palin Would Like To Talk To You About Teen Pregnancy
Yesterday, afternoon there was an important town hall meeting to help kids say no to teen pregnancy. (Not cool, Kids!) If a Tampa Bay Ray and a governor's daughter can't set youngsters straight, who can?...

Ron Artest Did Not Imagine That Stabbing Story
Some people doubted Ron Artest's table leg stabbing story, but I guess there's this thing called the Internet and some people actually did do the Google to find the truth....

Bill Plaschke Finally Vindicated By Manny Ramirez Suspension
There is a silver lining to be found in this Manny Ramirez mess—L.A. Times columnist Bill Plaschke can finally say "I told you so!" Manny duped a lot of people, but not this guy!...