st Page 2279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Enjoy A Free Veggie Burger With John Salley
Former NBA player John Salley is giving out free veggie burgers today at Chicago's Soul Vegetarian East restaurant, although I called over there and no one seems to know anything about it. [The PETA Files]...

Everybody Wants Greg Paulus
The Packers invited the former Dukie for a workout, now the University of Michigan is also interested in acquiring the services of the one-time Christian Brothers Academy quarterback.. Also, he's apparently a football God....

AJ’s Deadspin Polygraph Test And Magic Panda Bears
We were scheduled to have a special guest from ESPN on this Deadcast, but they had to cancel. Which is good, because it allowed me to further indulge my passion for talking about elevator pissing....

Florida High School Pitcher Loves No-Hitters, Beef O'Brady's
Either Patrick Schuster is really good, or the high school teams in the Tampa-St. Pete area totally suck. At any rate, the Mitchell High hurler now has three consecutive no-hitters....

Please Do Not Jostle Billy On The Ice
Toronto warmly embraces new non-contact youth hockey league. Just kidding; it's being shunned like the angel of death. [CityNews.ca]...

Scorned Cheerleaders Rat Out Heroic Playboy Model
It's the story you've heard a million times before: Girls cut from cheerleading squad get revenge on coach by exposing her Playboy modeling activities to school, thus getting her fired....

And Everything Was Going So Well For The Cardinals
The return of Chris Carpenter to the Cardinals' rotation was a brief one. DL likely. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]...

Isiah Thomas Is Florida International's Problem Now
Florida International stinks at basketball, so I guess they figured—if we're going to stink we might as well leave a spectacular stench all over the basketball world. That's the only explanation for hiring Isiah Thomas....

Josh Beckett Suspended Six Games
Josh Beckett has been suspended for being a jerk to the team that just lost a teammate in a horrible accident. And there was never another fight at a baseball game again. [AP]...

Dodger Fan Unable To Dodge Knife
Opening Day at Dodger Stadium went off without a hitch. There was plenty of fighting, gun-waving, knife play, vandalism and general mayhem to keep everyone on their toes....

Tony Romo's Life Just Got Upskirt And Personal
Regardless of my Eagles fandom, Tony Romo seems like a well-mannered, well-adjusted human being who just happens to be quarterback for the second most despicable team in America. (NSFW)...

Tom Hicks Is Out Of Money
The Texas Rangers/Dallas Stars/Liverpool Kicking Guys owner has defaulted on about $500 million worth of loans and will probably have to sell his precious toys. But he was always so frugal and wise! [Dallas Observer]...

Condi Rice Says Fuzzy Zoeller Is One Of Her Favorite Golfers
She wrote an essay for the Daily Beast about following Tiger at the Masters (perks) and dropped the line about Fuzzy being one of her favorites. Also, Condi's favorite comedian? Michael Richards. [The Daily Beast]...

We've Got Bush
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Easter In New Zealand Seems Festive
When there's a "Great Easter Bunny Hunt" in America it usually involves laughing children carrying wicker baskets filled with Cadbury eggs. But in New Zealand it involves 14,799 bloody bunny carcasses....

Sergio Garcia Says Golf Is Hard!
After finishing 75 and 74 on the weekend, Garcia complained that the course is "too tricky" and not "fair" and something about mudballs in the fairway. Garcia was complaining before he even got to Augusta, he complained during the tournament and now he's complaining after, even trashing the sacred l...

Miami Feels The Pain That Will Last A Lifetime
In the annals of gut-wrenching defeats, you're going to have to dig deep to find one tougher than Miami's collapse against Boston in the NCAA hockey final on Sunday....

The Cavaliers Seem Pretty Happy With Themselves Right Now
If the NBA were a horrible Michael Bay movie, this is the part where the bad guy would mutter "I fear we've awakened a sleeping giant." Then a Boston Celtics flag would flutter in slow-motion.*...

A Boob Grab Unlike Any Other
It's easy to get caught up in the emotion of Sunday at The Masters, but few fans have the determination to use that frenzy to their advantage and sneak in a boob grope at 15....