st Page 2351 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Every Inch Of Justin Miller Tells A Story
Florida Marlins' pitcher Justin Miller has never really proved himself as a top tier major league pitcher, but whatever lacks in strikeout numbers, he makes up for in body art. Lots and lots of body art. The fact that he is paid a major league salary is secondary, as tattoo freak magazine Inked did ...
NBA Finals Preview: Celtics-Lakers Game 6
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - mutant worms, baby poo, a lock of Fabio's back hair, a ninja's shin bone, and Britney Spears' first training bra - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA Finals game....
He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam'
For those considering a career in bullfighting, please feel free to use this as your screensaver. One of Spain's big shot matadors was gored not once, but twice; including this most excellent shot by a bull who obviously knows what he's doing. And so Jose "The Balls" Thomas is forced to choose a new...
David Ortiz Is Keeping Unusual Company
David Ortiz is still recovering from his injury — he won't be back for a while, but at least the cast is off — so he's keeping busy the only way he knows how: By hanging out with the crazyman that is James Woods....
Keith Olbermann Is Not Much Of A Pistons Fan
Keith Olbermann seemed genuinely flustered last night when Al Gore took his sweet time taking the stage at Joe Louis Arena to endorse Barack Obama; so much so that he forgot what team Chauncey Billups plays for. Billups was onstage to introduce Gore, and Olbermann had to go to his notes to identify ...
Hank Steinbrenner Is Just Boiling Over With Ideas
Pity the poor New York media. (A group in which, it occurs to us with a start, we are about to be considered a member.) They're so wistful for the old days of George Steinbrenner that they're desperately trying to shoehorn son Hank, the slow one, into the role. It's not working....
About Last Night
What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ... • MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6. • Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland. • NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there....
Michael Wilbon Thinks People Who Enjoy Pictures Of Him With Porn Stars Should "Get A Life"
Michael Wilbon chatted with Washington Post readers today, and he addressed those brilliant porn star pictures. The good humor he had on "PTI" about it? That's gone....
Is Boston Ready To Host A Championship Celebration?
As mentioned last week, the Leitch family is heading to Fenway Park this Saturday — tentative pitching matchup: Josh Beckett vs. Mitchell Boggs. You're toast, Sox! — and we are hopeful that the Yawkey Way faithful will show us the appropriate respect. That is to say: We hope they won't throw anythi...
Becky Hammon Not Going To Be The Most Popular Gal At The V.F.W
Becky Hammon's decision to play for the Russian national team in the 2008 Olympics has stirred up all sorts of Cold War emotions in Americans, yet once U.S. coach Anne Donovan calls you a "traitor" for your decision, well, it's a Rocky IV mindset all over again....
Doug Christie Is Full Of Aggrievement
Wait, people still pay attention to Doug Christie? Really? The man still has some sort of forum, and humans react to his words? Crazy....
Cardinals Are Just Barely Hanging On
In George Carlin's noted examination of the differences between baseball and football, he describes baseball as "A 19th century pastoral game. Baseball begins in the spring; the season of new life. The idea is to go home. I just want to go home." True, for the most part; save for the occasional har...
Tim Russert Was A Grand Thespian
Acting! What's more fun than seeing Russert saying, "it's all about the Benjamins" while doing a fist bump? If you haven't seen Luke Russert's interview this morning with "Today," we recommend doing so immediately, but only when no one's around, lest your boss make fun of you for weeping. We still t...
Sasha Vujacic's New Best Pal
So here's a reason to enjoy the "intimacy" of NBA basketball: Guys like Irv Bauman here can, right in the middle of the action, just start talking to one of the players. Can you fathom what he might be saying to Sasha Vujacic here?...
The Finals Are Goin' Back To Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't decide whether he likes the fact that ginormous leads are not safe when these teams play. When he's not silently wondering what's going to happen in Game 6, he can be found staring into space with a contemplative look at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
The joke is on the leopard ... he got off at the wrong stop ... • It was awfully nice of the Lakers to allow the Celtics to win the NBA title at home. (NOTE: Should LA come back and win this, this post never happened. Got it?). • MLB: Yankees beat Astros 13-0, and you can make your own damned Wang j...
NBA Finals Game 5 Second Half Live Blog
Either Pau Gasol is fired up or is auditioning for the role of General Zod in the upcoming feature, Superman IX: Invasion Of the Cassell Clones. But despite a three-point lead for LA, it doesn't look good for them. Hell, even David Spade is pissed. Will the series end tonight? Or will I be tempted t...
NBA Finals Game 5 First Half Live Blog
Whoa, sensei. The NBA Finals Game 5 gets to follow that. Much like when Tiger Woods was on the ropes, so are the LA Lakers, down 3-1 in the series. Kobe Bryant says the series is far from over. Boston would like very much to finish this series right now. The referees were instructed by their superio...
About Last Night...
What you missed while shopping for the ten best fictional dads for Fathers Day... • U.S. Open: Tiger Uppercut! The one-and-a-half-kneed wonder leads Lee Westwood by one shot. But will we see the Hundred Hand Slap prevail in the final round? • NCAA Baseball: Stanford scores 11 runs in the 9th to beat...
And Now For News That Isn't Fair
The gal on the left there, her name is Adriana Lima. (Just in case you wanted a name to go with the wet dream later on.) The guy on the right is some kind of basketball player named Marko Jaric. One of them has about 8½ million Google searches. The other, not even 200 grand. Hopefully Ms. Lima signs...