st Page 2369 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild
You may remember, from Pat Jordan's already famous story for us about trying to interview Jose Canseco, his lawyer "Rob," a "a Cherokee Indian from North Carolina" who, after four years working for Jose, had yet to be paid. Well, Canseco might have just done Rob — whose real name is Robert Saunooke ...

The Masters Turns ESPN's Volume Down A Few Notches
From what we saw of it, we kind of enjoyed ESPN's Masters coverage yesterday. With all the screaming and beeping and what-not on the network anymore, it was almost pleasant to have the sleepiness inherent in Masters coverage wash over The Leader. A channel in which everyone seems afraid to raise the...

Epic Fail In Oakland (And Dirk Is A Space Monster!)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who would do anything for love, but he won't do that. No, he won't do that. When he's not memorizing Meat Loaf lyrics, you can find him karaokeing them at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Hey Warriors...what's that on your face? I'll tell you. It's egg. And mud. And th...

About Last Night
What you missed while playing the world's biggest game of Where's Waldo ... • MLB: Boss, I demand a Reyes ... Mets beat Phillies in 12th thanks in great part to the baserunning stylings of Jose Reyes. • College basketball: Note to Self ... be sure to turn down offers and stay at Kansas. • NHL: Preda...

This Man Fathered A Swedecaublasian
ESPN's Masters Coverage has mostly enjoyable today, with Scott Van Pelt seemingly right at home covering all the yawwwwn thrilling action and excitement down at Augusta. It's safe to say that if Tiger's not in contention during the final round, the whole wall-to-wall coverage is a colossal failure....

Observations From Opening Night At Shea
We attended our first baseball game of the season last night, a sloppy, ugly, slightly comical 8-2 Mets win over the Phillies. We tried to attribute it to a cold April night, but seriously, we're not sure the Phillies were actually wearing gloves....

It Is Not Wise To Anger Albert Pujols
Now this is what you like to see. Albert Pujols, immersed in controversy, steaming mad and clouting homers. The Cardinals ripping up the NL Central despite preseason predictions of Epic Fail. Tony La Russa, legally sober according to state law. On Wednesday, Pujols — perhaps angered by this post — e...

Bang The Gong Slowly; Olympic Torch A No-Show In SF
San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom didn't exactly win friends and influence people on Wednesday when he decided to play an elaborate game of Hide the Salami with the Olympic Torch. The relay's only North American stop was scheduled to be a happy, glorious people's jog from AT&T Park, down the waterfr...

About Last Night
What you missed while deploying the awesome might of The Bathroom Ninja ... • NHL: Flightless Sea Fowl go up 1-0, as Roberts flipper slaps Senators once again. • MLB: Mmmmm, Pie. Cubs beat Pirates 6-4 in a mere 15 innings. • NFL: Favre laying groundwork for comeback with Packers? Of course he is....

The Masters Are Not Back Back Back
The Masters does begin tomorrow morning, at 8 a.m. (So set your alarms!) And, as mentioned last month, it will be telecast on ESPN, minus Chris Berman. We do not envy the exec who had to deliver that news to Boomer....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you pry the remote from his cold, dead hands ... • MLB: Phillies vs. Mets (7 p.m., ET) Time for Pelfrey Magic! [ESPN2] • NBA: Celtics vs. Wizards (7 p.m., ET); Suns vs. Spurs (9:30 p.m., ET). It's Guys Night Out! [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference quarterfinals, Game 1, Senators vs...

Steroids, Circa 1992
FanIQ uncovers an old set of "Topps Kids" baseball cards from 1992 that probably wouldn't fly today: It looks like every player is on steroids. Even poor Ozzie Smith!...

Congratulations, Scott McCormick, Deadspin Pants Party Pool Winner
We congratulate Scott McCormick, who bested 3,472 competitors to win our NCAA Tourney Pants Party Pool. As promised, he is rewarded (?) with a signed copy of God Save The Fan and a free post to write whatever he pleases. So, here it is. Congrats, man....

Your Deadspin Masters Preview
We don't know much about golf, but we do know that The Masters Are Important. Therefore, with the Big Golf Tournament That Doesn't Like Ladies teeing off tomorrow, we asked resident golf impresario Shane Bacon, of Dogs That Chase Cars, to preview it for us. So here goes....

The West Virginia Power's Mascot Has A Rather Large Package
Here's Charile, one of the mascots of the West Virginia Power baseball team, a Class-AA affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers. The Power celebrated the beginning of their season recently with a contest to see who could turn in the best drawing of one of their colorful mascots. The winner was Ariel Bens...

The Real Reason Arsenal Crapped Out
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Steely McDrunky
In even more startling DUI news, Pittsburgh police have arrested one of the men who played Pittsburgh Steelers horrifying mascot, Steely McBeam....

Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face....