This Man Fathered A Swedecaublasian

ESPN's Masters Coverage has mostly enjoyable today, with Scott Van Pelt seemingly right at home covering all the yawwwwn thrilling action and excitement down at Augusta. It's safe to say that if Tiger's not in contention during the final round, the whole wall-to-wall coverage is a colossal failure.

Last night, ESPN featured a little segment about a woman named, Jennifer Brown from Berkeley, who deduced through a series of smart-person algorithms and formulas that every single tournament Tiger Woods enters, the field plays one stroke over their course average. When he's on fire, they play two strokes over. Slate dove into this heady little theory last January. Yes, Tiger is so good, his mere presence makes other people screw up.

At the end of day one , Tiger is at even par, and the leaders are Justin Rose and some guy named Trevor Immelman. Woods is, as every single media outlet reporting this event says time and time again, "lurking."

ESPN Masters Coverage [ESPN]