st Page 2383 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Trust I Can Rely On Your Vote
Tomorrow's a pretty big primary day for the Dems, what with Texas, Ohio and, to a much lesser extent Rhode Island and Vermont, going a long way to determining who the nominee will be. With Greg Oden and Leigh Steinberg recently publicly throwing their support behind Barack Obama, we're once again co...
Mike's Got It Going On A Little Bit
Seems a few Red Sox were involved in a charity dance-off over the weekend, and, my stars, did raillery ensure. Those Red Sox! Such wacky, charitable funsters!...
The State of the Deadspin Commentariat Address
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Win One For The Gimper
Is there anything more gratifying than having people take action after reading something you've written? God dictated the Ten Commandments to Moses and we've been breaking them ever since. Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to a church door and kicked off the Protestant Reformation. And I wrote a li...
The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....
The Editor-In-Chimp Is Here
Much of your human world continues to horrify and confuse me, most of all your bizarre construct of weekdays. The one you call Will has cast me into my Monday bondage by bludgeoning my mate to death with his advanced human weaponry. How ever did you concoct stick with a nail in it? Sadly, I am now i...
About Last Night...
What you missed while stocking up on Postum......
If Wilt's 100-Point Game Were Modernized
As we conclude another lazy "Baked Doritos and curling on TV" Sunday, we remember that 46 years ago was the night Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points against the New York Knicks (snerk) in a game. And the Dayton Daily News poses a good question: how would it be covered today? Oh, there's nothing bett...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while vomiting profusely ... • 7:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: Tennessee at Georgia. The perfect matchup to settle their border dispute. [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NBA: Nuggets at Rockets. How many teams do you know of that have won 14 straight games and nobody thinks they'll do anything in th...
Eric Byrnes Can Tolerate Men Staring At His Junk
We haven't heard much from Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes in the offseason, but we can only guarantee it was something EXTREME AND WHOLLY UNPREDICTABLE! ZIGGITY SWISH! He's back this year, and his Diamondbacks were among the first to be drug tested. Byrnes is absolutely comfortable with the pro...
Yankees-Red Sox Feud Reaches Depths Of A Free Hat
If you haven't been paying attention to Hank "Raul Castro" Steinbrenner's words about the Red Sox in the last few days, congratulations! You're officially aware of the 28 other teams of the league....
About Last Night...
What you missed while starting a global lemon wedge scare ... • NBA: Michael Redd just says no to free throws, Spurs win 96-94. • NHL: Everyone duck, here comes Phil Kessel. Bruins top Thrashers in shootout, 3-2. • NASCAR Nationwide Series: Promising up-and-comer Mark Martin wins in Las Vegas....
You've Picked Up A Mauve TV Guide
Somehow, we were able to escape the February Of Sadness, but this first week of March doesn't seem to yield much excitement beyond the Grapefruit League and the Atlantic Sun basketball tournament. With that in mind, today's video game you oughta play is the obscure Dragon Crystal for the Sega Game G...
Barry Bonds Ain't Buildin' Mansions For Any White People
It's been safe to say that the text of the Mitchell Report, coupled with the Congressional testimony by Roger Clemens, has been for the most part unfulfilling. So when Barry Bonds' 2003 testimony to a federal grand jury leaked out yesterday, the natural reaction was a cacophonic "meh."...
About Last Night...
What you missed while ordering a refill of penis reduction pills... • NBA: Where is your Pau now? Blazers defeat Lakers 119-111. • NHL: Former Cardinals outfielder Setoguchi scores winning goal as San Jose beats Detroit 3-2. • MLB: Juan Gonzalez homers off ... Johan Santana? I know it's only spring ...
So They're Expecting A Few People For That Dodgers-Red Sox Exhibition Game
If you're planning on attending that March 29 exhibition game between the Dodgers and the Red Sox at the Los Angeles Coliseum, better get your butt in gear; they've already sold 90,000 tickets. An expected 25,000 standing room tickets are soon to go on sale, meaning that the game will most surely br...
Barry Bonds Is Not A Good Influence On Terrell Owens
Here's video from TMZ of Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens partying it up in Vegas. I'm not sure what the green liquid is — TMZ says it's absinthe — but it's clear that Owens is not a fan. This is exactly how I imagined a night out with Bonds would go. "Here, drink this! Don't worry about what's in it; ...
Happy Leap Day, Everyone!
So does today actually exist or not? After watching Lost last night, I'm more confused than ever ... and this article is no help. Anyway, on the off chance that today really does exist, I'll be posting a full day's worth of sports outtakes, bloopers and practical jokes. Will is still on vacation, so...