st Page 2384 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome Back, Baseball. We've Missed You
Shhh, listen ... baseball season is here! We know because we hear the anguished cries of collegiate players being pummeled by the pros. In sports' version of a large man chasing a dachshund with a shovel, baseball continued its storied and venerable tradition of major league teams opening spring tra...
About Last Night
What you missed while ... is that a PLEDGE PIN? On your UNIFORM??! ... • NBA: Lakers win 10th straight, but does it count if it was against the Heat? • MLB: Dodgers beat Braves in Torre's debut, causing Alyssa Milano to jump up and down and squeal with delight. Welcome back, baseball. • College bask...
Have We Got The Job For You
I love this photo with every fiber of my being. Thank you, Meaningful Collateral, for making this day complete. However, there is also a rather amusing post that goes with it. For all of you job seekers out there: Your long search is over! Details follow:...
The Other Shoe Drops In Clemens Case
I guess the lesson is that you don't come into Henry Waxman's house talking smack. Just hours after Congress recommended that Roger Clemens' testimony be examined by the Justice Department, the FBI announced that it has begun investigating whether the pitcher lied to Congress when he denied taking s...
This Cardinals Post Will Self-Destruct In 30 Seconds. Good Luck, Jim
OK, let's just keep this little post between you and I, OK? I purposely waited until now to put it up, knowing that Will would be scuba diving. Shhh. First, old business (two days old, but whatever, it needs to be addressed). It seems that Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa still does not believe that M...
I Am Here To Provide Kids Like You With A Game Plan For... WHAT THE F#!K KINDA CALL WAS THAT, YOU F$^KING JEW F*@K?
Welcome back to the Deadspin Guest Lecture Series. Each week, we'll be inviting various luminaries from the world of sports - players, coaches, broadcasters, and MORE! - to speak to you Deadspin folks. This week: Duke coach and shining beacon for all that is right in college basketball, Mike Krzyzew...
Congress Decides That It's Time ... For The Comfy Chair!
I know that this isn't the favorite part of your day, but it must be done: Here's your Roger Clemens update. Noting direct contradictions in testimony given by Clemens to a congressional committee in a private hearing on Feb. 5 and at a public hearing on Feb. 13 regarding steroids, congressional lea...
The Lockview Dragons Have Some Meat Between Their Buns
A Canadian high school hockey coach was fired on Wednesday when it was discovered that some of his players changed their bio information in the team program. Kevin Brown of Lockview High was dismissed when some parents complained about the program. So, did the players pad their stats, or taunt the o...
Yet Another Reason To Loathe Starbucks And Ridicule Dumb Defensemen
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
LeBron Is Human After All
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who isn't going to cover the Blazers/Clippers game, because of the pain it caused my eyes to watch. (Although I will tell you that Portland won 82-80.) When he isn't recovering from the ugliness of professional basketball, he can be found making fun of it at...
About Last Night
What you missed while taking Will to the airport in a rickshaw ... • College women's basketball: Vivian Stringer joins the 800 Club. Don Imus apologizes out of habit. • NBA: LeBron's milestone doesn't impress the Celtics all that much. • NHL: Not tonight, I have a Paddock ... just wanted to say that...
R.I.P. Myron Cope
Beloved Pittsburgh Steelers broadcaster Myron Cope died today at the age of 79. We asked Mondesi's House to put together a retrospective....
Jon Stewart Still Won't Use His Hands
Long before he was hosting the Oscars or beating up Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart was a Whirling Dervish on the soccer field for William & Mary....
Roger Clemens Is Not An Animal!
Roger Clemens arrived in Kissimmee, Fla., on Tuesday to, well, work out I guess. Why is Clemens welcome at Astros training camp while Barry Bonds is universally shunned? Answer: A). Clemens has two functioning knees, B). Bonds is not a Republican, C). Clemens gives better quotes, or D). All of the a...
Sean Salisbury, Moving On Down That Road, Man
To the casual ESPN viewer, it must have seemed confusing that Sean Salisbury, the former Vikings quarterback who once actually sported a fade, would be one of the most prominent NFL analysts on the world's biggest sports media enterprise. Sean Salisbury? That guy? Really?...
About Last Night
What you missed while overdosing on charm ... • College basketball: Yes, we called this, but anyone could see it coming a mile away. Vanderbilt 72, Tennessee 69. • Politics: Newsweek's Howard Fineman likened Tuesday's Democratic debate to an Ali vs. Frazier fight. Hmm, I don't recall Frazier wearing...
Humor Is Different In Australia, Apparently.
These two fellers are Central Coast Mariners, which is apparently an Australian Rules Football team. Shockingly, for Australians, they have somewhat, uh, a little trouble in the racial department. That guy on the right is in blackface. Really bad blackface, but blackface nevertheless. You think tha...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the funniest thing that Jimmy Kimmel has ever done ... • NHL: Fearless Forsberg returns to Avalanche, and all it took was $5 mil. Yay! • College basketball: Texas cannot be stopped, by anyone, ever. (May not apply to postseason play). • NFL: Michael Strahan considers r...