st Page 2388 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
So Who's Ready For Another Run At An Undefeated Season?
Which is harder: Completing an undefeated season in the NFL, or in college basketball? I NEED TO KNOW! With its 68-59 win over Houston on Wednesday night, Memphis improved to 24-0, looking to become the first Div. I team since Bobby Knight's 1976 Indiana squad to finish unbeaten. Hmm, a current team...
A Celebration Of All Things D-League
Yeah, yeah, so the NBA All-Star Game is this weekend. Yawn. There's not much more dull these days than the 3-point contest and the slam dunk competition, and the game itself ... no thanks. But worry not, basketball fans: There's an antidote in the very same city: It's the Development League All-Star...
Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole
All told, as the dust has settled from Roger Clemens' appearance before Congress yesterday, one thing is clear: There is, in fact, a worse stance to take under oath than "I'm not here to talk about this past." And it involves ass bleeding....
Ryan Dempster Says ... No Wait ... He Says ... Really ... The Cubs ... Ha ... Sorry, We Just Can't
You'll have to forgive us, considering this happened pretty early in the day yesterday, but, well ... sometimes we just can't help ourselves. We have to point out legendary romantic Ryan Dempster's bold proclamation for the Cubs this season....
No, You've Got It All Wrong, Fellas. Brady Quinn LOVES The Gays
Brady Quinn would like to make it clear: He does not hate gay people. Responding to accusations that he hurled gay slurs at a group of men in a New Year's Eve altercation in Columbus, Ohio, Quinn said on Wednesday that, nope, it never happened. And furthermore, you know that Brokeback Mountain seque...
About Last Night
What you missed while pleading with the suicidal moose not to jump ... • MLB: Roger Clemens' approval ratings now lower than Dick Cheney's. • College basketball: Come on, Indiana, make up your mind. Do you want your players choked, or do you want them illegally recruited? I kind of vote for choked. ...
What Today Has Meant, If Anything
Who knows what one can take from the ridiculousness on display in the Clemens testimony today? As we suspected, no one comes out looking good, and we didn't really learn anything either. One guy's lying, one guy isn't, we have a pretty solid idea which is which, and it ultimately doesn't really mat...
John Rocker Wants To Set The Record Straight
With all this other steroid business going on today, we feel obliged to point out that John Rocker is not going to just be ignored. He's hoppin' mad about the "irresponsible dolts of the media."...
Beijing Olympics To Be Devoid Of Dramatic Closeups, Mechanical Sharks
Bad news for all those who actually watch the opening and closing ceremonies at the Summer Olympics; Steven Spielberg has dropped out as director at the Beijing Games. Or actually he was going to be the "artistic adviser," whatever that means. All I know is that now my dream of watching Dennis Weave...
Stephen Jackson Is Somewhat Lacking In Flow
Even Ron Artest was better, though only at hip-hop, not randomly leveling strangers in the crowd....
Wrapping Up The 2008 Westminster Dog Show
The Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden finished up yesterday. We dispatched intrepid reporter Barry Petchesky to cover the show, give us the lay of the land and clock some bitches. Barry Petchesky is a freelance writer in New York City, and he plans to use this as a clip, which is rather...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings
So, here's pretty much what you've missed in the Roger Clemens testimony so far: • Clemens said the conversation in which Andy Pettitte claims Clemens admitted to steroid use was actually about "a TV show in which three older people said they'd used HGH and improved their quality of life." Oh, so...
Roger Clemens' Supposed, Alleged Day Of Reckoning
As you know, we've had a hard time getting ourselves worked up about the Clemens-in-front-of-Congress hype; someone's telling the truth, someone's lying, and what it has to do at all with the steroid "problem" is beyond our comprehension. But hey: It's possible that Roger Clemens' entire reputation...
About Last Night
What you missed while reminding people once again that it's pronounced "Fronkensteen" ... • College basketball: The last time Kentucky lost this badly, ALF and Growing Pains were hit TV series. • College women's basketball: Petition To Investigate The Final 1.3 Seconds Of The Rutgers-Tennessee Game....
The Westminster Dog Show: Bitches, Man, Bitches
Starting yesterday and concluding today, the Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden features the finest athletic specimens at MSG since ... well, since the last Dog Show. We don't consider competitive dog preening a sport, but we do find it funny, and we think Best In Show is one of the funn...
In Which The SI Swimsuit Edition Struggles (Again) To Stay Relevant
The 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition is out, folks; gaze upon its wonders. And in other news, there's still a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. What year is this again? Aren't naked women on the Internet now? At any rate, our aquatic, clothing-challenged model is Marissa Miller, making he...
Roger Clemens Vs. Congress ... Quien Es Mas Macho?
We find it difficult to work ourselves up about this Roger Clemens Congress business. We think it's because the purpose of this has all been so lost. Remember, these Congressional "trials" were meant to get to the bottom of this steroid mess, find out how we got here, for the kids! But that's not wh...
Whither Sports Unfiltered With Dennis Miller?
There's nothing sadder than a big blank space where your cable show's programming schedule used to be. Exactly what fate has befallen Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller, the Versus series that made America fall in love with elephant polo references once again? It's a mystery (for some reason, Vers...
French Bulldog Wins At Westminster, Later Shoots It Out With Cops
How often do we get the opportunity to mention Patricia Hearst, Jimmy Carter and the Westminster Kennel Club dog show in the same post? Very rarely. It all happened on Monday, as Hearst (or Tania to her friends) and her pooch Diva, the French bulldog, took one of the trophies at the Westminster Kenn...