st Page 2389 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

John Rocker Destroys Everything You Thought You Knew About Steroids
It will come as a shock, a shock, we tell you, to learn that our friend John Rocker was on steroids. Throughout this book tour, we've been impersonating Rocker at every stop, and we need steroids just to get into character....

About Last Night
What you missed while finding Jesus in a block of wood ... • College basketball: Are you a referee who suspects that he may have OWS (Overactive Whistle Syndrome)? Please consult your physician immediately. Or, you know, get a job driving a cab. Georgetown 55, Villanova 53. • College hockey: Beanpot...

Remembering ManU, Then And Now
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Anti-ESPN Christian Protest Sure To Draw In Five, Maybe Six People
You only have 45 minutes, folks, to get thee to Bristol ("across from the McDonald's," actually) to join the Christian Defense Coalition's protest of ESPN. They're still fired up about the Dana Jacobson mess, but they seem more incensed these days by the infamous Chris Berman video....

About Last Night
What you missed while wishing you had a bigger boat ... • NFL: Jeff Garcia and T.O., together again! And how about those commercials! (Nobody watched the Pro Bowl, did they?) • College basketball: The last time Clemson won at North Carolina, movies had no sound. Tar Heels 103, Tigers 93. • Politics:...

Christian Group to Protest ESPN Tomorrow Over Culture of Insensitivity
It seems the latest round of Berman videos was enough to prompt a return trip to Bristol for angry Christians. A press release reveals all of ESPN's sins that need to be addressed and protested tomorrow at noon:...

About Last Night/Greetings and Such
Greetings. I'm fairly certain most people are still sleeping in, but let's get our day of the Lord started out pleasantly enough. Here's a rundown of all the things you missed last night while a pack of horses ruined your friend's funeral....

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Mets
Well, it appears everything can't work out this offseason for the Mets. The sign guy died. The Phillies are once again the team to beat in the National League East....

Love Means Never Having To Tolerate Your Wife's Saggy Breasts
So, the more Brian McNamee opens his mouth, it becomes less clear who's more of a horrible human being. Is it the opportunisitic "trainer" who ratted out his clients who gave him a career? Or is it Roger Clemens, so deluded by his own legacy that he's absolutely convinced himself that he did nothing...

This Seems Fitting
The Knicks have lost intern-boinking virus Stephon Marbury for the rest of the season. Marbury, who had hoped to return this year after undergoing ankle surgery to remove bone spurs, will now be relegated to hopping around by himself, most likely in a pair of cheaply made (but very affordable) sneak...

Lunch Break With Judas Priest
Clare, get a Flyers chant going on while I'm gone....

Greetings, Redux
So, for those of you who weren't up at 3:15 a.m. this morning and didn't see my initial greeting being posted(timestamp said 9:15 a.m, for fuck's sake), well here we are again. Anyway, wake up sleepy heads. It's a glorious day to sit at home and watch me mess up this place with reckless abandon....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after doing a little gardening ... • Boxing: Cruiserweights, Darnell "Not A Bad Guy If You Get To Know Him" Wilson vs. B.J. "Honnicut" Flores, at Dover, Del., (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, practice for Budweiser Shootout, at Daytona Beach, Fla., (4 p.m. and 6:...

Suddenly My High School Years Look Sad And Lackluster
OK, the intern staff here at Deadspin labored for hours trying to find a sports connection to this story, and came up empty (all have been fired). Nonetheless, here is is, because it contains perhaps the greatest sentence ever seen in a news item in the English language. There is more hilarity eac...


Curt Schilling Has Surgery By Blog
Another thing we love about Curt Schilling's blog: When offseason news items come up, he just gives "no comments" to all media and then writes about it there. This led the following beautiful words on the ESPN crawl: "ESPN's Jayson Stark reports that Schilling has no comment." Hey, thanks, Jayson!...

About Last Night
What you missed while taking your turn pummeling Benjamin Linus ... • NBA: Chris Webber is some good luck charm, huh? Bulls 114, Warriors 108. • College basketball: So this must have been a really fun game to attend. Indiana 83, Illinois 79, 2OT. • MLB: One Boooooonndds, Bonds for saaaale, he's goin...