st Page 2398 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Woe Is The Illini
The Tennessee State Tigers are 4-8, with losses to Belmont, Akron, Colorado State and Southeast Missouri State. It was once known as the Tennessee State Agricultural and Industrial State Normal School for Negroes. Oprah Winfrey went there. And yesterday, they beat our Illini at the Assembly Hall in ...

Lakers Come Up A Little Short
Ha, nice shorts! It was 1980s retrospective night at the Staples Center on Sunday, the Lakers stylin' with short shorts, assistant coach Kurt Rambis sporting a fake mustache, and the Laker Girls wearing spandex. No word as to whether Nicholson dropped 25 pounds and came dressed as The Joker. (A tre...

About Last Night
What you missed while commemorating the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death ... • NFL: Thrilling Titans-Colts action starring Kerry Collins, plus gratuitous Craphonso Thorpe reference. Tennessee 16, Indianapolis 10. • NBA: Blazers, Celtics rule all, generously allow us to breath their air. • NHL: If yo...

1971 Was The Heyday Of Table Hockey
Going Five Hole has the video: It's the 1971 World Table Hockey Championships. And judging strictly from this footage, it's pretty obvious that the world of table hockey should be Christopher Guest's next mocumentary....


For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • All day — 2007 World's Strongest Man Competition [ESPN] • 1:00 — Classic NHL: Canucks at Flames, Game 7 of '89 Smythe Division semifinals [ESPNC] • 1:00 — Payback [TBS] • 2:00 — Off-Road Racing: Baja 1000 [NBC] • 2:00 — Die Hard With A Vengeance [SPIKE] • 3:00 — Golf: PGA Tour 2007...

Keep Your Motor Runnin'
The NBA Closer is written by Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or talking in the third person, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

About Last Night
What you missed while swimming laps with Sean C. Reilly ... • NFL: History was never really my thing. Patriots 38, Giants 35. • Alamo Bowl: Live, JoePa, live! Penn State erases early deficit to beat Texas A&M. • NBA: Tyson Chandler, clairvoyant. Hornets 86, Cavs 76....

Can The Giants Slay The Giant?
Better bust out the good potato chips for this one, folks. Instant history kind of demands an "All-Dressed" rippled. The Patriots close out their 2007 regular season against the New York Giants tonight as they attempt to become the fourth team in the NFL's 88-year history to finish a regular season ...


About Last Night
What you missed while frantically sculpting a purple Ferris wheel ... • Champs Sports Bowl: Eagles extend nation's longest meaningless bowl winning streak to eight. B.C. 24, Michigan State 21. • NBA: OK, this is getting a tad bit ridiculous. Blazers win their 12th in a row. • NHL: Three shots. Three...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that you're a myth and Bigfoot is real ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Dominic "Fainting Spell" Guinn vs. Robert "The Missouri Migraine" Hawkins, Vancouver, British Columbia (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College football: Champs Sports Bowl, Boston College vs. Michigan State, Orlan...

A Call For New Years Day Entertainment
Whew, this week is almost over; the week in between Christmas and New Years is always brutal for anyone who has to work, and a slow sports week didn't help. So, we're glad we're almost done. So, to almost wrap up, let's play with some Strongest Man Competition....

Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...

Fumble! Everybody On It, Including Stepsons
By now, you've probably heard about Chris Jessie, Mack Brown's stepson who stupidly grabbed a loose fumble last night during Texas' thumping of Arizona State in the Holiday Bowl. It's pretty entertaining....

Blog Fight! Blog Fight!
Skeets, who was horribly trampled by adolescent goats while visiting the petting zoo, is still inactive and will be back next week. Today's Closer is written by Rick Chandler, Submersible Operations Coordinator at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution ......

About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch on your new TV that is larger than the actual playing field being televised ... • College football: Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, Arizona State vs. Texas, at San Diego (8 p.m., ET) Let the Pac-10 Holiday Bowl humiliation continue. [ESPN] • College basketball: Nevada at North Carolina (7 p...

Buy A Dirty Feller's Beard
The guy in this picture is not famed West F—-in' Virginia fan The Mighty MJD, though we wish it were. It's "bragg-mcdowell," and he's selling his beard on eBay....