st Page 2497 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Baseball with Rob Neyer: That convoy of Brinks trucks headed toward Florida and Arizona must mean that spring training can't be that far away. • 1 p.m.. NFL with Matt Williamson: Can any good come of it when someone names you Tan...

At The Garden With Deron, Stephon And The Cabal
So it figures: We go see our first (and likely only) Knicks game of the year, and not only is it their most "exciting" victory of the year, but it's a one that, the day after, even Knicks fans don't really care about. The Knicks had a rare stud game from Stephon Marbury — and by "rare," we mean "we ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while helping Skeletor find the true meaning of Christmas ... • NFL: Manning, Colts beat the Mean Machine, er, Bengals 34-16. • NBA: Now we've just gone Through the Looking Glass for sure. Knicks beat Jazz at buzzer. • NHL: Ducks keep rollin' ... not even Flames can stop 'em....

Hirshey's Holiday Week Off
We are sorry to disappoint, but our main man David Hirshey is taking a week off from his weekly windings on the world of the English Premier League. (That's soccer, in case you forgot.) He sends the following explanation/report:...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Caps' LW Alexander Ovechkin: Do you suppose we can get them to turn off The Ovechcam before you hit the shower? • 2 p.m. NBA Insider John Hollinger: If you were really the NBA Insider, wouldn't you be sporting a couple of Carmel...

This Might Be Why They Wear Those Difficult-To-Take-Off Bodysuits
Because we don't quite provide everything you might need to feed your international skiing jones, you might not necessarily have heard of Silvan Zurbriggen, a Swiss skiier who is in Italy for a big slalom event. He was keeping himself busy, apparently; he was arrested for masturbating outdoors in fr...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while working a late shift at the banana stand ... • NBA: From Zero to 60 in 64 minutes ... • NFL: LT goes off again; Chargers consider the single wing. • NHL: Rangers suffer Knick-like 6-1 loss to Devils....

About Last Night...
• NFL: Cowboys 38, Falcons 28. It seems strange that Morten Andersen is the NFL's all-time best scorer. It's like Dan Dickau holding the same record in the NBA. • College Basketball: Texas Tech 71, Arkansas 56. Bob Knight's now just one win away from Dean Smith's record. Bob Knight still doesn't car...

I Wish You Wouldn't Kill Anthony Morelli
Penn State quarterback Anthony Morelli has received death threats via e-mail, for infractions way less severe than going to the Barbaro message board and wishing out loud that the horse would die. No, some jack-ass Penn State fans want him dead because he's only thrown for 2,227 yards and 10 touchdo...

About Last Night...
• NHL: Penguins 7, Islanders 4. Sidney Crosby and Mark Recchi both had a goal and three assists, Ryan Malone had a had trick, and Crosby's the only name mentioned in the headline. Someone should kick his ass. • College Basketball: Oregon 100, Eastern Washington 74. Every Oregon starter finished in d...

Grandma Got Ran Over By A Syringe
As we all know, steroids are scourge on our great nation and must be eradicated before Al Qaeda uses them to take over the United States. And the menace is getting worse: Turns out, now grandmothers are using them....

Florida Brings Back An Old Friend To Beat Buckeyes
So here's something that couldn't possibly go wrong. As Florida prepares for its BCS "Championship" Game against Ohio State, they are calling in the cavalry to help them get the win. They're so desperate for any advantage that they've even called in an old friend....

Reminding Your Opponent Who Is No. 1
It was the ancient Greeks who brought us the sport that would become modern competitive wrestling, and if we've learned anything from the Greeks, it's this: One man's wrestling move is another man's anal sex. In a story we're a little behind late in reporting from Sioux Falls, S.D., a high school ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Jerry Crasnick: Hey, when do you think that Matsuzaka is going to return George Costanza's gore-tex jacket? • 3 p.m. Mid-majors w/Kyle Whelliston: OK Bally, you may go on a date with Orange Roundie. But have her back by...

NBA Roundup: Baron Davis Takes The Helm
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed while being unmercifully pelted by potatoes ... • NFL: Let the Holmgren death watch begin ... 49ers beat Seahawks as NFC West takes another step toward an 8-8 champion. • NHL: It's brother against brother as Rangers prevail over Stars, 5-3. • NBA: Time out to set up a final shot? Pff...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NBA with Chad Ford: When leather is outlawed, what will be the balls of the future? • 1 p.m. NFL with Keith Kidd: Terrell Owens, crazy enough to convince even Tom Cruise that a psychiatrist is needed? • 4 p.m. Football scientist ...

The Matsuzaka Has Landed
Well, the world of Red Sox fans can breathe a sliver easier this morning; Daisuke Matsuzaka has signed his (reasonable, really) deal and is now officially a target of the Boston faithful. We find it amusing that one of the first things he had to do when his plane landed was undergo a physical; tur...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering if anyone physically balances their checkbook anymore ... • NBA: The Los Angeles Lakers Experience Featuring Vladimir Radmanovic doesn't put on a very good show in Dallas. • NHL: We are all just pawns in Sidney Crosby's game. • College basketball: Cincinnati Bearcats ...

Joey Porter Didn't Mean To Offend You; He Just Meant To Offend The Fag
Just because his team has been a disaster this year doesn't mean that Steelers linebacker/insano Joey Porter can't still stir some shit up. Yesterday, Porter apologized for calling Kellen Winslow a "fag."...