st Page 2540 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Heat Take 1-0 Lead Despite Lottery Distractions
It is perhaps telling that, the morning after Shaquille O'Neal and his Miami Heat looked strangely dominant in a Game 1 win over the Pistons, the NBA event that garnered the most online attention was the draft lottery, which was won by the Raptors, who now conveniently aren't run by a moron....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while telling everyone you meet "you're no Jack Kennedy." ... • NBA Playoffs: Introducing Antoine Walker, Gary Payton and Jason Williams; remember them? Heat beat Pistons to take Game 1. • Soccer: Well, this can't bode well. U.S. loses to Morocco 1-0, plus Claudio Reyna strains hamst...
Eastern Conference Pants Party: Pistons Vs. Heat
As disappointed as some of us might be that we didn't get our LeBron-Wade Eastern Conference Final, we have a feeling it'll end up happening someday, somehow. Let's not get greedy just yet. Let's just watch to see if those workmanlike Pistons — who, for all their lack of popularity today, were Ameri...
Ghosts Of Web Site Past
We don't know why, but we guess we kind of thought that Web sites representing companies that were obviously proven fraudulent and felonius would, as a matter of courtesy, either disgorge themselves from the Interweb, or, at the very least, stop updating....
When You're Talking Sex, You're Talking Enron Field
On Sunday, the Houston Astros shutout the Texas Rangers 5-0 in Houston, securing a series win over their in-state rivals. To celebrate, a Houston policeman at the game decided to have sex with two women. Makes sense!...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Boxer Fernando Montiel: Welcome, Mr. Montiel. Please bear with us while Pat Buchanan goes through your pockets and Orrin Hatch checks your ID. We apologize for the inconvience. • 1:30 p.m. IRL's Michael Andretti: You're my secon...
Seminoles Institute New "Anti-Cocaine" Policy
Some bad news for Jon Kreft, that Florida State recruit who was arrested for having cocaine in his ass (that's a crime??!!): The Seminoles have rescinded their scholarship offer. He clearly has failed to met the exemplary moral standards expected of the students of Florida State University....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while kissing Lilly, sending Eddie off to school and getting into another hair-brained scheme with Grandpa ... • NHL Playoffs: 'Canes Mutiny: Rampant Tropical Weather Systems even series with Sabres. • MLB: Richie Sexson and grand slam just kind of go together, don' they? Mariners be...
Two Bald Guys, Ruling Everything
Pity the poor parents of anyone who might have been featured on ESPN's coverage of track and field yesterday; we imagine them readying to watch their dear child heave the shot put or hoist a javelin, years of support and pride and sweat finally being showcased on national television ... and then, ...
The David Wells Mad Lib
Obviously, David Wells — as evidenced by his appearance on the waiver wire in just about every fantasy league we're in — is much more useful as a quote machine these days than as an actual baseball player. And he's never more amusing than when he's being edited to suit the taste of the delicate ne...
Checking In On The Bonds Contest
We're going to get into tonight's Cardinals-Giants, Bonds-Pujols matchup a little later today, but we thought the time was right to remind you of our Barry Bonds home run challenge, which encouraged you, nearly a month ago now, to predict which pitcher would give up the homer that passed Babe Ruth...
It's All About That Inside Post Position
Jon Kreft is a seven-foot-tall, Uwe Blab of a center, and he's the top recruit coming to Florida State next year....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Penske crew chief Matt Borland: Was that you I saw yesterday on the side of the road leaning against a Volvo, waiting for Triple A? • 2 p.m.. Baseball with Buster Olney: How's the Roger Clemens recruiting coming? I head that the ...
LeBron Finally Runs Out Of Magic Dust
As much as we loved the idea of LeBron James swooping from the heavens and lifting his team, all by his lonesome, into the conference finals and beyond, yesterday's easy win by the Pistons was pretty much inevitable. When you team is essentially just one player, and that one player scores only six p...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while consoling a sad Johnny Cakes ... • NBA Playoffs: Well, that took longer than it should have. Pistons pull plug on LeBron, Cavs 79-61. • MLB: Our long national nightmare is over. Abreu's five RBI help sink Red Sox, end Phils' five-game loss streak. • NHL Playoffs: Edmonton Fossi...
No, I'm Sorry, You Can't Get A Witness
A competitive first half gave way to a Detroit smothering in the second half, and the Detroit Pistons have advanced in the Eastern Conference playoffs. LeBron James had 27 total, but was held to just 6 points in the second half. Of course, those 6 points did account for over 25% of the Cavs total ...
Wichita State Needs A New Mascot
They're not renaming themselves, thankfully, they just want to replace the guy on the left there. When I first saw the headline, I feared that the people at Wichita State had gotten tired of all the jokes that make people like us so happy. But that's not the case, and besides, changing to somethin...
This Feels... Big.
The Pistons and Cavs will be tipping off any minute now. I can't be sure of what, but we're about to witness something. I think just about everyone in the universe is rooting for the Cavs, with the exception of hardcore Pistons fans. Everyone either wants to see LeBron win, or wants to see LeBron...
We're Goin' Streakin'!
A reader sent in a tip regarding a streaker at the Royals/Cardinals game Friday night. The streaker, a tattooed, mohawked Cardinals fan in boxer shorts, stole the 1985 Royals World Series flag, ran into left field, and, according to the tipster, was then beaten down by a combination of police, the...