st Page 995 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steve Yzerman Is Leaving Tampa And Hell Yeah Motherfucker He Is Definitely Coming To Detroit
Mission accomplished! Mark it the hell down. Steve Yzerman is finally coming back home to Detroit to save the godforsaken Red Wings. At least, that’s the only logical conclusion one can draw from today’s news:...
Breaking: The Charles E. Smith Center Jumbotron
Dear the small person doing the surrender cobra near the precariously tilted chunk of Jumbotron: It’s going to be okay....
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Shrugs, Gives Albert Breer "Leading Role" At The MMQB
As recently as a few months ago, Sports Illustrated insisted that no one person was going to take over for Peter King as the head of the MMQB, the magazine’s NFL website. It was somewhat surprising, then, to see MMQB writer Albert Breer announce in a press release today that he has been promoted to ...
Lawsuit Claims Larry Nassar Raped And Impregnated Field Hockey Player In 1992
A lawsuit against Michigan State University filed by former Michigan State field hockey player Erika Davis alleges that disgraced former university doctor Larry Nassar sedated, raped, and impregnated her. The suit also claims that former athletic director George Perles, who is now a university trus...
Hypothetical Grievances Presented By An Australian Newspaper To Defend Its Big-Lipped Serena Williams Cartoon, Ranked<em></em>
To riff on Serena Williams’s spat with umpire Carlos Ramos in the U.S. Open final, the Melbourne Herald Sun published an illustration of the tennis player, drawn by editorial cartoonist Mark Knight, which has since been met with international disgust. Today, like any normal newspaper, the Herald Sun...
There Is Nothing More American Than Burning Your Dumb Sneakers
“Calling a dream crazy is not an insult,” Colin Kaepernick says during a two-minute ad that Nike rolled out last Wednesday. “It’s a compliment.” It’s one of many perfectly circular blobules of aspiration that Kaepernick delivers in stop-and-go voiceover throughout the ad, and in that context and the...
Donald Trump Will Never Forget (To Say Dumb Shit About 9/11)
President Donald Trump, a person who is afraid of stairs, has long spewed mush-brain lies and bizarre boasts about everything, and that includes 9/11. Remember when he claimed he cleared rubble from Ground Zero, or the time he lied about seeing Muslims celebrating the Twin Towers falling, or when he...
Marshawn Lynch Puts Both Teams On His Back For The First Touchdown Of The Gruden Era
The soon-to-be Las Vegas Raiders are getting it done early in Oakland thanks to one of the strongest feats of human strength ever seen on a football field. Marshawn Lynch showed he still had some “Beast Mode” left in the tank when he dragged almost the entirety of the Rams’ defense, and a couple of ...
The Lions Should Probably Never Play Like That Ever Again
It was a terrible, awful, no good and very bad day for Detroit’s two Matts—Stafford and Patricia—in the Lions’ Monday night season opener against the Jets. Stafford threw four terrible interceptions and finished with a quarterback rating of 47.9, and his shit sandwich of an evening was topped by a p...
Deadspin Up All Night: Have Too Much To Say
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....
The Golden Knights And Canadiens Made A Fascinating Trade
The second-year Vegas Golden Knights are operating as if they’re in win-now mode, and why not? They absolutely are. Meanwhile the Montreal Canadiens are trading away their captain in the middle of the night. So that’s how things are going!...
The Stadium Scam Goes Minor-League, And It Has An Unlikely Ally
When the state of Rhode Island offered up $38 million in June to the owners of the Triple-A Pawtucket Red Sox toward a new stadium, it seemed likely to be the first step on the road to a replacement for the beloved-but-modern-kitchenless 76-year-old McCoy Stadium. Sure, the PawSox owners had balked ...
Like The Rest Of Us, Tennis's Governing Bodies Are Arguing About Serena Williams
Through a series of statements, tennis’s governing bodies (the Women’s Tennis Association, the U.S. Tennis Association, and the International Tennis Federations) are staking out their positions on the sad and entirely avoidable debacle that was the U.S. Open women’s final. ...
Report: Rival Clubs Think Cleveland's Trade For Josh Donaldson Was Shady
According to a report from The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal, several American League contenders are pissed off at the Indians for the way they completed a trade with the Blue Jays for Josh Donaldson. Toronto agreed to trade Donaldson to Cleveland on Aug. 31, the final day on which Donaldson would still ...
Regardless Of Who You Cheer Or Boo, WWE Usually Isn't Listening
One of the most striking things about last Saturday’s All In pay-per-view, the independent wrestling event that sold out over 11,000 seats in suburban Chicago, was where the show differed from WWE. When it came to the in-ring wrestling style and the creative influence of Cody Rhodes and The Young Bu...
Umpires Needed Almost Four Minutes Of Video Review To Blow This Call
Last night’s Astros-Red Sox game featured a play that pulled every replay-based nightmare out of the shadows: an interminable review process, a call that gets blown anyway, and a game result that hinged on that very same blown call....
Appalachian State Fans Boo Referee After He Pronounces It “Appa-Lay-Shun”
There’s one way to identify yourself as an outsider to residents of Appalachia: Pronounce it “Appa-lay-shun.” That got one college football referee in trouble on Saturday....
"It's Not My Job," Says Bill O'Brien Of Thing That Is His Job
The Texans hung admirably tight with the Patriots in Foxboro, losing 27-20, but you can’t say they didn’t have their chances to outright win the thing. And a whole lot of the blame for that falls on head coach Bill O’Brien, who was responsible for some iffy fourth-down decisions, a brutally lackadai...