take Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Does Anybody Miss Michael Bisping?
Time waits for no one, as the Rolling Stones once said, and UFC middleweight champion Michael Bisping is currently in the process of proving the now-geriatric rockers right....
Civility Is Overrated
Earlier this week there was a phony report about the Golden State Warriors deciding not to go to the White House after winning their second title in three years. That prompted Washington Post columnist Sally Jenkins to write this column calling for all of the Warriors to go and shake Donald Trump’s ...
Keep The Olympics The Fuck Out Of Los Angeles
Last summer, Rio de Janeiro put on an Olympic Games that should serve as a blaring warning siren to any potential host city stupid enough to want to pay billions for the rights to the Games. Before the Games had been out of town four months, Rio de Janeiro had to declare bankruptcy because they were...
IMPORTANT: I Would Not Bone A Vampire
Recently, I got into an argument with a series of colleagues surrounding the very simple question: If vampires were real, would you have sex with one?...
Quit Horsin' Around, Bob
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The NFL Seems Like It Could Use A Nap
Today the NFL, which is in the middle of its offseason, announced its preseason schedule, and nearly everyone involved with the game appears to have completely lost it....
Tony Romo: A Career In Takes
If Tony Romo deserves to be remembered for anything, it’s that he managed to make nearly everyone look fucking stupid....
The Undertaker Leaves The Ring For (Probably) The Last Time
Rumors—and common sense, given that he’s 52 years old—suggested The Undertaker’s final appearance for WWE would be at tonight’s Wrestlemania in Orlando. And so it seems, as the Deadman stripped himself of gloves, cloak, and hat while breaking kayfabe to kiss his wife upon leaving the ring following ...
Actually, The Huskies Didn't Want Michael Porter Jr. Anyway, Says Local Columnist<em></em>
Washington Huskies head basketball coach Lorenzo Romar was fired shortly after finishing a soggy 9-22 campaign, the worst in his 14 years at the helm, despite having the likely No. 1 overall pick (Markelle Fultz) in the upcoming NBA Draft. This seemingly non-controversial decision was made much more...
LaVar Ball Vs. Stephen A. Smith Made For Some Profoundly Dumb TV
I suppose the logical apotheosis of the media tour that LaVar Ball, patron saint of loud sports dads, has embarked upon over the past month is an appearance on ESPN’s preeminent shouting match, First Take. This morning, Ball joined the program to discuss his series of outlandish public proclamations...
And Now, A Formal Reading Of The Name Of The Year Bracket
The 2017 Name of the Year bracket has landed and, as always, the best way to properly judge entrants like Boats Botes is to say their names out loud for the world to hear. And that’s just what we’re doing in this FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL return of the Deadcast....
The Worst Takes Of 2017
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. What does it have in store for us?...
Charles Barkley Doesn't Like How The Warriors Play "Little Girly Basketball"
Charles Barkley’s role on Inside the NBA is to spout unfiltered takes and tell viewers how the NBA is stupid now because nobody punches each other. Occasionally he lays down a good take but, more often than not, he grumbles out crotchety opinions about back in the day and straddles the border betwee...
Oh Hell Yeah Baby, The American Premier League Takeover Is Well Underway
“My seeds, run with his seeds, marry his seeds,” Ghostface once remarked, explaining the strategy by which an influx of money amongst a tight-knit group of individuals can be kept, collected, and grown into a sum that benefits the group for generations. He continued, “That’s how you keep Wu-Tang mon...
<i>First Take</i> Moved To ESPN As Skip Bayless Closes In<em></em>
Amid huge ratings declines, ESPN execs have decided to move First Take from ESPN2 to ESPN beginning in 2017, reports John Ourand. It will still occupy its 10:00 a.m.–12:00 p.m. ET time slot, meaning the 10:00 a.m. SportsCenter hosted by Hannah Storm and the 11:00 a.m. SportsCenter hosted by David Ll...
Bill Murray Sings "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" In His Own Unique Manner
Boy, Bill Murray’s really enjoying himself tonight, eh? We don’t know what’s up with the Daffy Duck bit, but we’re sure someone will have an answer down in the comments....
Barcelona Go To The Mattresses Against La Liga Over Bottle-Throwing Incident
This weekend, as you may have heard, some shit-brained Valencia fan threw a bottle at some Barcelona players because he was mad they beat his team. As you also might’ve learned, this was apparently mostly the players’ fault, at least according to such important and powerful figures in Spanish soccer...
Fox Sports Is Extremely Lazy
Several of you noted Fox used the bizarre image above—one of injured Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, but with current Minnesota QB Sam Bradford’s face pasted on—during this afternoon’s NFL broadcast, but that’s far from the first time we’ve seen the image pop up. In fact, it made its debut si...
Story On Fox Sports 1 Ratings Reads Just Like A Fox Sports 1 Press Release<em></em>
Nielsen’s television ratings determine almost alone whether a TV show is considered successful, whether it stays on the air, and how much advertisers pay to run commercials during it. They are incredibly important to everybody in the television business, and reporters breathlessly cover them, from t...
Skip Bayless Is Gaining On ESPN In A Ratings War That Doesn't Matter<em></em>
ESPN’s flagship shoutfest, First Take, has long and rightly been reviled for degrading everyone and everything it touches. Until co-host Skip Bayless departed earlier this year, that didn’t seem to matter at all to its loyal core audience, which happily tuned in each day no matter how repulsive or j...