takes - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shake Shack Is Our Most Overrated Fast Food Restaurant<em></em>Before I get into the Funbag, I have a special announcement: The DEADCAST is coming to Chicago on Sept. 17, a week from Monday. That’s right. We’re gonna have a bigass Monday Night party and you, dear Chicagoans, are invited. You can find all the details right here. And if you plan on being at the s...

Choose HockeyBaseball held me hostage last night, but hockey set me free. Midway through yet another four-hour MLB playoff battle, the otherwise compelling action thinned by stoppages and pre-pitch routines, I felt like I was simply watching out of obligation. There wasn’t any kind of happiness or love. It certa...

Keep The Olympics The Fuck Out Of Los AngelesLast summer, Rio de Janeiro put on an Olympic Games that should serve as a blaring warning siren to any potential host city stupid enough to want to pay billions for the rights to the Games. Before the Games had been out of town four months, Rio de Janeiro had to declare bankruptcy because they were...

IMPORTANT: I Would Not Bone A Vampire

Recently, I got into an argument with a series of colleagues surrounding the very simple question: If vampires were real, would you have sex with one?...

Tony Romo: A Career In Takes

If Tony Romo deserves to be remembered for anything, it’s that he managed to make nearly everyone look fucking stupid....

Actually, The Huskies Didn't Want Michael Porter Jr. Anyway, Says Local Columnist<em></em>

Washington Huskies head basketball coach Lorenzo Romar was fired shortly after finishing a soggy 9-22 campaign, the worst in his 14 years at the helm, despite having the likely No. 1 overall pick (Markelle Fultz) in the upcoming NBA Draft. This seemingly non-controversial decision was made much more...

And Now, A Formal Reading Of The Name Of The Year Bracket

The 2017 Name of the Year bracket has landed and, as always, the best way to properly judge entrants like Boats Botes is to say their names out loud for the world to hear. And that’s just what we’re doing in this FULLY ARMED AND OPERATIONAL return of the Deadcast....

Hell Exists And It's Getting Your Hair Cut While Skip Bayless Yells At You

The Los Angeles Times’ Lance Pugmire talked to old friend Skip Bayless and wrote about his preparation for the premiere of Second Take, which will begin airing on Sept. 6 and, if patterns hold, will stop drawing viewers about a week later when everyone is finished rubber-necking. Skip has already pr...