ted Page 199 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rich Paul Sits Down For Long <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Profile Just To Tell The Celtics To Screw
Sports Illustrated has published a long profile of NBA agent and LeBron James confidant Rich Paul, who is probably the most famous agent in sports right now given his involvement in the Anthony Davis trade saga. It’s about as compelling as a long story about a sports agent can possibly be, but it’s ...
Every USWNT Goal Against Thailand, Ranked
If you haven’t heard, the United States puréed Thailand by a score of 13-0 in their 2019 Women’s World Cup opening match today. You don’t score 13 goals without at least some of them being nice, so here’s an objectively correct ranking of every goal:...
Here Are All 13 Goals In The USWNT's Obliteration Of Thailand
The USWNT opened its 2019 Women’s World Cup with a match against Thailand. That match has just ended. The final score was 13-0, the most lopsided World Cup scoreline of all time. Here is what scoring 13 goals in a single game looks like:...
The USWNT Is Better Than Ever, But So Is Everyone Else
The United States enter the World Cup as the best in the world, the team with the most top-to-bottom talent, and the reigning champions. They also enter the tournament facing the toughest field in the competition’s history, and though they have improved over the last four years in key places, they a...
The Regions Of The United States
Here are the regions of the United States....
Who The Hell Wants To Run The Wizards?
The Washington Wizards dismissed longtime personnel chief Ernie Grunfeld (his title was “president of basketball operations” but it was a role broadly analogous to “general manager”) back at the beginning of April. More than two months have passed. The draft is a little over two weeks away. Free age...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Bosses Insist To Staff That Being Sold To Necrophilic Brand Enthusiasts Is Good
For 65 years, Sports Illustrated has persisted in narrowly covering sports, neglecting those who would like to, say, have their prostates examined in SI-branded medical clinics by doctors wearing SI-branded lab coats, or drape themselves in SI-branded bikinis, or eat an SI-branded hot dog at their k...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked
While he may not be carving up defense in MLS like he was during the second half of last season anymore, old man Wayne Rooney is still one of the league’s top scoring threats and teams are still figuring out the best way to stop him. The latest creative attempt came from New England Revolution keepe...
This British Lad's Body Art Is Quickly Becoming A Chronicle Of Failed Soccer Predictions
Meet Jamie. He’s a Leeds United supporter who was proper chuffed when his beloved club made it to the English Championship playoff semifinal, and was likely chuffed even further after they took a 1-0 lead against Derby County in the first leg. Jamie was so excited, in fact, that he decided to preemp...
Vancouver Whitecaps Goalie Pulls Off Three Spectacular Saves In A Row
If there’s one thing better than a good goalkeeper boner, it’s a goalkeeper thwarting an attacking onslaught by turning into a brick wall. Think Tim Howard at the 2014 World Cup, or David de Gea last season (before his brain broke and he became sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit)....
If John Beilein Is Such A Good Person, Why Was He A College Basketball Coach?
Longtime Michigan men’s basketball coach John Beilein announced yesterday that he’s leaving the university to take over as coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers. It’s a move plenty of other college coaches have made before, but the departure of Beilein—reportedly beloved, supposedly clean, and, at 66, d...
A Brief Quiz About Jimmy Traina's Sports Media Podcast
In the past year, Sports Illustrated’s Jimmy Traina has had male guests on his weekly sports media podcast 70 times. Can you guess how many times he’s had women on his show over that same period of time?...
Hero Goalie Saves Four Shootout Penalties, Scores Spot Kick In A-League Semis
Things have to go horribly wrong for both teams in order to see a goalkeeper step up to the penalty spot during a pivotal shootout, doubly so if the shootout score is only 3-3 at the time. Thanks to Liam Reddy’s heroic performance, though, the A-League’s Perth Glory came out on top after a wild semi...
Huddersfield Town Snapped A Corner Flag And Manchester United's Top-Four Chances
Manchester United didn’t control their top-four destiny going into Sunday’s match against Huddersfield Town—a club that had been guaranteed relegation for quite some time now. Three points from a win was the minimum required to keep any hopes of Champions League qualification alive, but they also ne...
Leeds Manager Marcelo Bielsa Instructs Team To Give Aston Villa An Uncontested Scoring Chance To Make Up For A Controversial Goal
Up until the 71st minute, the match between Leeds United and Aston Villa had been relatively uneventful. But once the game clock hit 71:20, the English Championship bout decided to make up for its lack of excitement over the next several moments with a debatably unsportsmanlike goal leading to a scu...
This Penalty Kick Is So Bad That The Player Who Took It Was Immediately Cut
It’s been quite the whirlwind week for Venezuelan soccer player Bendix Parra. Last Tuesday, he was a starter in one of the biggest matches in the history of his club, Paraguay’s Independiente. This Tuesday, he found himself unemployed when Independiente tore up his contract. All of this for one espe...
Manchester United Need A Complete Face Lift To Rise Again
At various points this season, Manchester United have been dying, dead, buried, on the way back, back again, and lost in the wilderness. It’s fitting, then, that on Easter Sunday, United finally reached its lowest point of the season: a 4-0 loss to Everton, United’s worst defeat to the Toffees in cl...
Philippe Coutinho And Barcelona Might Yet Have A Happy Ending Together
When Barcelona purchased Philippe Coutinho from Liverpool back in the winter of 2018 for an eye-popping €160 million fee, Blaugrana fans thought they had found their next Andrés Iniesta. It made sense: Coutinho can dribble, create, and score all at elite levels, and though the Brazilian needed to wo...
Oh No, David de Gea, What Are You Doing?
Manchester United came into the Camp Nou on Tuesday knowing that two goals would likely get them to the semi-finals of the Champions League. Not an easy task at all, but a doable one. But then United gagged up two awful first-half goals, one from an inexplicable David de Gea boner, and that looks to...
Leeds Fan Breaks Ankle While Celebrating A Goal, Waits Until After The Game To Go To Hospital
With a tight 1-0 home win over Sheffield Wednesday this weekend, Leeds United took a big step toward sealing promotion to the Premier League next season. In the explosion of joy following Jack Harrison’s 65th minute goal, one Leeds fan exploded his ankle during his raucous celebration, which require...