ted Page 218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Suspicious Package At Old Trafford Leads To Match Abandonment [UPDATING]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lqwu77vxrwfwsuidgmkd.jpg)
Suspicious Package At Old Trafford Leads To Match Abandonment [UPDATING]
Manchester United’s match against Bournemouth has been abandoned after a “Code Red” situation led to stands being evacuated and the discovery of a suspicious package....

Meanwhile, At The Soccer Halftime Show
How to not only get away with LARPing in public but actually be featured as an MLS match halftime show: declare it to be “Star Wars Night.”...

Chinese Commentator Can't Help But Laugh At This Striker's Horrible Miss
I mean, Mao Biao of Tianjin Teda does basically save his own “shot” (if you can call him falling over himself and onto the ball a “shot”) from crossing the goal line here. Laughter really is about the only sensible response....

The Atmosphere At The Boleyn Ground Last Night Was Fantastic
Yesterday’s West Ham-Manchester United match began with United’s bus getting smashed up and ended with United blowing a gilt-edged chance to make the Champions League, losing 3-2. ...

A Bunch Of West Ham Fans Attack Manchester United's Bus, Delaying Game
Right now, West Ham and Manchester United should be well into a crucial Premier League match, the final one at West Ham’s famed Boleyn Ground stadium. Instead, police postponed the game for 45 minutes because West Ham fans went crazy United’s team bus:...

Manchester United Have A Golden Opportunity; Let's See If They Blow It
Somehow, after yet another disappointing season, Manchester United still have so much to play for....

Farewell To Ted Cruz, Self-Made Sucker
Ted Cruz, the worst possible man, lost the Indiana Republican primary to Donald Trump yesterday. He’d staked it as his last stand in the nominating race, even brokering a cynical armistice with John Kasich to unify anybody-but-Trump voters in the state, and got clobbered anyway, by some 17 percentag...

Louis van Gaal: Hair-Pulling Is Only Cool When You're Fucking
During yesterday’s Manchester United-Leicester City match, professional agitators Marouane Fellaini and Robert Huth got into the little tiff you see above. Huth grabbed a handful of Fellaini’s ‘fro and gave it a yank, which Fellaini responded to by throwing an elbow and a slap toward Huth’s head....

A Complete, Jovial Guide To The 2016 Senate Races
With six months and change still to go until November 8, you’ve probably learned more this election cycle than you ever hoped to hear about loony wall-construction-financing schemes, losing unspecified competitions to China, and/or the self-reported approximate dimensions of a certain candidate’s ge...

Manchester United Reach FA Cup Final With 93rd-Minute Goal
Anthony Martial scored the winner in the third minute of stoppage time as Manchester United overcame an own goal to beat Everton in today’s FA Cup semifinal, 2-1....

Chinese Keeper Goes All Superman, Flies Around To Save Three Would-Be Goals
Most videos posted here about goalkeepers tend to be of the lowlight variety. But today, let us celebrate Yang Qipeng of China’s Tianjin Teda for this stretch of heroic saves in a match against Liaoning Whowin....

Conor McGregor Is (Probably Not, But Who Knows?) Retiring
Conor McGregor—a loudmouthed troll; a genuinely brilliant fighter; and the UFC’s biggest draw and 145-lb. champion—is due to face Nate Diaz at 170 lbs. on July 9. The proposed fight, a rematch of a bout McGregor famously lost last month, is set to headline a card the promotion hopes will be its bigg...

USA Beats Canada In Overtime To Claim Women's World Hockey Championship
The United States defeated Canada for the third straight time in claiming its seventh IIHF women’s world championship tonight when Alex Carpenter scored at 12:30 of the overtime period in Kamloops....

Justin Bieber, Carrie Underwood, The Weeknd, And More Iso Vocals From Last Night's Awards Shows
While you were busy watching Wrestlemania or The Walking Dead or something, a pair of second-tier awards shows aired—one sponsored by a bullshit media company tied into this weekend’s Final Four, and the other just another one of country music’s 184 occasions upon which to celebrate itself. We picke...

Dimitri Payet Is On A Roll
West Ham United took a 2-1 lead against Crystal Palace into the intermission after a Dimitri Payet free kick that rendered Wayne Hennessey completely useless. Payet’s been on fire of late; he had an even more sick free kick earlier this week against Russia....

A Reminder That Anthony Martial Is Still A Goddamn Child
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that, notwithstanding his huge transfer fee and his multimillion-dollar salary and his formidable size and his surprisingly advanced game, underneath it all, Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is still just a kid....

Let's Teach Ted Cruz Some Charisma
Politicians are in the business of persuasion, so it is always miraculous to see one succeed with an egregiously short supply of charm. It’s like the Hanukkah miracle, a menorah burning for eight days on a meager drop of oil; or, it’s like Ted Cruz conning his way onto the short list for our nation’...

Aww, Look At These Real Soccer Players Letting The Goalie Score For Once
This is quite remarkable. Not the goal itself—which West Ham’s Adrián scored in a meaningless testimonial match—but the impulse behind it....

Jurgen Klinsmann Blew It
The United States Men’s National Team will probably qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. Yes, they are trailing Guatemala and Trinidad and Tobago in the Group C standings. Yes, they have played conservatively without the defensive ability to make that style work. A day after the U.S. got humili...