ted Page 219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh No
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This Dumb Keeper Is Soccer's New Trickster God
Just look at this idiot. Maritzburg United goalkeeper Glenn Verbauwhede, of the South African Premier Soccer League, has developed an incredibly crazy strategy of baiting referees into giving opponents fouls. First, he lures opposing players into his personal space, then intentionally lunges at thei...
What On Earth Is Going On With José Mourinho's Manchester United Pre-Contract?
We can all agree that the big takeaway from the pre-contract José Mourinho has reportedly signed with Manchester United is the simple fact that, after a few months on the sidelines, no doubt stewing over the calamity that was his final season at Chelsea, our man Mourinho will almost certainly be bac...
Aleksandar Mitrovic Celebrates With Idiot On The Field After Scoring A Late Equalizer
Newcastle tied up Sunderland late to secure a 1-1 draw. Aleksandar Mitrovic scored the equalizer, and was understandably pumped since it came in the 83rd minute against a rival. Mitrovic ran away from all his buddies to celebrate with this jeans-wearing Geordie....
Report: It's Mourinho Time, Baby!
The best parts of the first half of this very weird Premier League season were most certainly Chelsea melting down and playing like dogpiss and also all the wacky hijinks José Mourinho got himself into. Now, according to El Pais (Sp.), our hero has signed a “pre-contract agreement” with Manchester U...
Manuel Lanzini Rocket Goal Puts West Ham Up On Chelsea
Chelsea fell behind at home once again this morning, though it’s hard to blame them for this Manuel Lanzini screamer from outside the box. The Blues haven’t much but pride to play for at this point, and strikes like this from the Argentine aren’t helping....
Ice-Cold Coutinho Skates By Defense, Daggers Manchester United With A Sweet Chip
Here is Liverpool’s Philippe Coutinho easing down the Manchester United flank, floating into the box, then coolly flipping the ball over keeper David De Gea with about as much difficulty and exertion as you or I would jog out to the grocery store to pick up a carton of chocolate milk:...
Congratulations To Grayson Allen, Ted Cruz, And Colin Mochrie On Their Win Over UNC-Wilmington
It took some effort, but the Duke Blue Devils dispatched UNC-Wilmington in the first of today’s 16 NCAA tournament games. Grayson Allen, Ted Cruz, and Colin Mochrie await their next-round opponent....
Enjoy Nate Diaz Beating The Hell Out Of Justin Bieber In A Video Game
Justin Bieber and Nate Diaz had a weird, short-lived beef following the latter’s victory over Conor McGregor, so someone went ahead and made them fight each other in UFC 2....
Cops Question Blue Jays Fan For Tweeting Threat To Statue Over Jose Bautista Contract
Back when it was clear that Jose Bautista and the Blue Jays were far apart on a potential contract extension, a number of fans sided with their slugger and against ownership, which despite being among the richest in pro sports has a reputation for failing to spend like it. The ire of one of those fa...
A Child's Treasury Of Photos Of Nate Diaz Beating Conor McGregor's Ass
Conor McGregor is a blowhard troll who’s been terrorizing the top ranks of pro fighters lately, while Nate Diaz is a lovable dirtbag who’s lost more than he’s won over the last couple of years. McGregor says things like, “I’ve got world titles and multi millions of dollars, you got 20 thousand to sh...
Nate Diaz Shocks MMA World By Choking Out Conor McGregor
Nate Diaz choked out Conor McGregor in tonight’s UFC welterweight main event, shocking the promotion’s featherweight champion with McGregor’s first loss in six years....
Who Did This?
The Dodo, the internet’s best source for fucked-up animal news, has once again derailed my evening. I’ve lost the ability to do anything but stare at photos of this absurdly busted dog and laugh until I cry....
Washington, D.C. Makes Sure No Billionaire Sports Team Owner Is Left Behind
On February 18, construction crews began knocking down sections of St. Elizabeth’s, the Washington, D.C. psychiatric hospital famous for having housed, among others, John Hinckley, Josh Gibson. and the Shotgun Stalker. Mayor Muriel Bowser got in an excavator to kick off the demolition of Buildings #...
Julian Büscher's First Professional Goal Is A Long-Range Doozy
DC United just got knocked out of the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF Champions League, 3-1 on aggregate by Mexican side Querétaro. At least their lone goal—scored by German rookie Julian Büscher, in his second ever match for the club—was an absolute beauty, as Buescher smacked in a fishtailing rocket...
This Rick Reilly Thing Sucks So Much
Last we heard from Rick Reilly, he was retiring to Italy after ESPN finally got tired of him recycling his own material. So what happens when you give an old sportswriter who perfected the art of mailing it in a shot at a Sports Illustrated cover story? You get this pile of shit....
The Premier League Title Race Is Impossibly Close And So Much Fun
The enduring memory of this weekend’s Premier League action—from Leicester flirting with disaster against Norwich before pulling it out late on Saturday, to Tottenham and Arsenal struggling to keep their own title hopes alive against Swansea and Manchester United, respectively—is just how stupidly f...
Everybody Get Down
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Marcus Rashford Cannot Be Stopped, Scores Twice On Arsenal In The First Half
Seriously, how did some random kid in Manchester, called up to the United first team purely because of an almost comical, unending stream of injuries, turn into something like the best striker in England in less than a week?...