ted Page 261 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch A D.C. United Soccer Player Get Interviewed About His Balls
During halftime of last night's draw with Real Salt Lake, D.C. United defender Jed Zayner confirmed that his side would, in fact, need to "work our balls" off on defense. Then, the announcer inquired as to the state of Zayner's....
The Taiwanese Animation Version Of The Vancouver Riots
And the money line is, "Canadians are known for being polite while Vancouver is famous for being a beautiful city but there is a dark side — hockey." Dun dun dunnnn....
Deadspin Gives Back
If you're in the catering and/or bulk "grill chicken salad" business, here's your chance to get a jump on Bil Wilson's mother's birthday next year....
The One With A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Selling Herself For Sex Parties On Craigslist
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...
Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game
Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are ...
This Is How Panama Thanks Us For The Canal
Your morning roundup for June 12, the day we made out with Mary-Kate....
Iran Hosts The Date Rapiest Marathon Of The Year
Barring, of course, the final police report on Bay To Breakers....
The One With The NFL Wideout Sending Unsolicited Wanking Pics Of Himself
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...
Wayne Rooney's Bloody Hair Plugs Are Literally Bloody
"Hi all there's my head. It will take a few months to grow. Still a bit bloody to. But that's all normal. #hairwego" [@WayneRooney; Previously]...
OK, We'll Ask: What's Going On With Roger Federer's Magic Bulge?
At left, a screengrab of Roger Federer from today's French Open semifinal. At right, a wire photo from Federer's quarterfinal matchup on Tuesday. Exact same outfit: much more prominent frank and beans....
Here's Video Of Lionel Messi's UEFA-Championship Winning Goal For FC Barcelona
Final score: Barcelona 3, Manchester United 1. In retrospect, the game ended the moment Lionel Messi seized the Best Player In The World chatter and made it reality....
Your Barcelona/Manchester United Open Thread
Best I can tell from the handy 'Countdown to UEFA Champions League Wembley London Final 2011,' the FC Barcelona v. Manchester United game should kick-off at precisely 2:45 p.m. eastern. It's a match between the two best club teams on earth, worthy of not only U.S. network coverage but a day when th...
Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man....
A Video Compilation Of Silly Tribute Songs To Man U Striker Chicharito
In advance of the Champions League final tomorrow between Manchester United and Barcelona, here's an amusing video about Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez, the dynamic Mexican striker who's been a vital part of Man U's success this year. Hay salsa. Hay rap. Hay awesomeness at 02:20. Make sure you get ...
Watch Miami Fans Celebrate Like They Just Won A Title
For all we know, these diehard fans in their bright whites (never washed) really do think it's over and that the Heat are champions. They haven't been watching basketball that long, you see....
Here's The Video Where LeBron James Takes Flopping To Heretofore Unseen Levels
Your morning roundup for May 27, the day it helps to have a background in mathematics if you want to work for Pauly Shore. Video H/T Allen W...
David Beckham Secures A Post-Soccer Future In Field Security With This Fan Takedown
English soccer clubs sometimes play "testimonials," in which they bring back their older stars for a friendly match of former rivals. Like parades or bowling parties, it's a nice way to make the old folk feel appreciated for still being around. Yesterday, with Man United playing Juventus in the Ga...
Today In "You Don't Fucking Say"
Headline on a story that checked in at 1,655 words and required the contributions of 10 Associated Press reporters: "Drinking linked to problems in the ballpark stands." [AP]...
Totally Anonymous Soccer Player Sues Twitter For Saying Ryan Giggs Had An Affair
Some married British soccer player had an affair with a model, and we guessed it was Ryan Giggs. But the media couldn't reveal his name because of a court order. So someone signed up for Twitter and started naming names, including that of Ryan Giggs. But we still don't know for certain that Ryan Gig...
Tubby Messi Impersonator Dribbles Past Old Women, Sheep To Reenact Goal Against Real Madrid
That's how easy it is to get to Wembley, according to this silly video which looks to have been made by Opel and recreates Messi's second goal against Madrid in the first leg of the Champion's League semifinal. There's also a version with crones:...