ted Page 281 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stinky Jinx Makes Greinke Cranky
Zack Greinke makes the cover of Sports Illustrated (the first Royal in 16 years) and promptly loses his 43-inning scoreless streak. I thought this guy was great at overcoming obstacles or something. [FantasyPros911]...

The One With Competitive Fanny Coughs And Belichick's Casual Wear
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Jimmy Smith Is Not Handling Retirement So Well
Former Jacksonville Jaguar star Jimmy Smith was pulled over for a minor traffic violation yesterday and ended up in jail on cocaine possession charges. That's not what I call enjoying your golden years....

Minor League Bat Dog Ejected For Foul Ball
Master Yogi Berra, a bat and ball fetching dog for the Greensboro Grasshoppers, was relieved of his duties after relieving his own uh..."duty" on the field mid-game. That's a crap call. [Triad]...

Lies, Damned Lies, And Swimsuit Issues
Sports Illustrated publishes a fake letter to the editor about their Swimsuit Issue and the world nearly explodes. You know....I think some of those Penthouse Forum stories might be slightly embellished as well. [Cleveland Frowns]...

Is This The Woman Who Allegedly Tried To Extort Rick Pitino?
The flamboyantly behatted lady at left is one Karen Sypher of Louisville, who may or may not be the same Karen Sypher of Louisville at the center of the alleged extortion attempt against Rick Pitino....

Deadspin Special Guest Editor Days Are Here And Waiting For Your Approval
Tomorrow we'll try a risky experiment just for the sake of risky experiments — yes, a strange different voice, will be infiltrating Deadspin tomorrow....

The One Where Colin Cowherd Pets A Bunny
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Everyone Had A Good Time At Ted Ginn's Birthday Riot
Cleveland police had to break up a "near riot" in front of the House of Blues last night, that ended with Buffalo Bills defensive back Donte Whitner on the wrong end of a taser....

Ted Kennedy Still Looked Better Than Lincecum
"Thank God this isn't Deadspin, or the comments would be loaded with 1.3 retarded Massholes typing "GO SOX!!1!!!@!!!" [Wonkette]...

Lions Take Stafford At No. 1. Rams, You Are Now On The Clock
At least that's what Pro Football Talk is reporting, with the caveat that interest in the Georgia QB may just be a clever smokescreen (ha ha, but anyway ...). [Pro Football Talk]...

Rest Easy America, The Lance Armstong Bike Thieves Are Behind Bars
After an exhaustive manhunt, Sacramento police have captured the people they think stole Lance Armstrong's bike during practice runs for the Tour of California on Feb. 15. And one is named Dung Le. [ABCNews10]...

The Iowa Hawkeyes Are Already In Midseason Form
One should never go into spring break cold. It's important to ease into it with a few warmup public intoxication arrests, as these three Iowa football players can tell you....

This Week On A Very Special 'Friday Night Lights' ...
So you've quit the high school football team, and now you want to come back. OK, well, this being Texas, you'll need to drop your pants for a rather brutal paddlin'....

The One With Hearsay About Manny Ramirez's Days In Boston
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

The Seattle Sounders Have Their First Sexual Assault Investigation
Here's an ad that was in the Seattle Times last month — and on the main page of its web site — featuring Seattle Sounders FC star forward Fredy Montero. Talk about unfortunate ad placement....

The One Where The Yapping Hand Job Picks A Scab (Update)
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

'Good Season, Girls; Here Are Some Photos Of My Junk'
It's getting so that you can't swing a dead possum around here without hitting another story about a coach or player texting something naughty. Today: Volleyball coaches gone bad....

NFL Player Tries To Straighten Out His Woman With A Mop Handle
Oakland Raiders offensive lineman Cornell Green seems to have been upset with the mother of his two children over something. Sometimes it takes a little more to get a lady to just listen. [TBO]...

Jets Want Some Of That Jay Cutler Goodness
The Jets are reportedly very interested in trading for Denver's laser-armed crybaby. What, no confidence in Kellen Clemens and Brett Ratliff? Preposterous! [NYDN]...