ted Page 282 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gonzaga Alumni Are Weeping With Joy
Demetri Goodson's thrilling end-to-end bank-in with 0.9 seconds left lifts the Bulldogs over Western Kentucky. If Gonzaga isn't careful, it's going to develop a reputation for these....

Everybody Loves The Underdog
Fulham are leading Manchester United 1-0 at halftime. I'm told this is unexpected, but that's what they get for benching Rooney and Tevez. Scholes was sent off in the 18th minute for being old. [ESPN]...

The One With The Most Retarded Story About Pitt's DeJuan Blair
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Happy St. Patty's Day, Dan Rooney
President Obama nominates Steelers owner Dan Rooney as the U.S. ambassador to Ireland. They should love Steely McBeam over there. [Boston Globe]...

The One That Confirms Greg Oden Was Always An Old-Looking Young Man
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Are Dodgers Preparing To Get Their Pedro On?
Impressed with his play for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic, the Dodgers may be contemplating signing Pedro Martinez. Their final roster should be complete by May. [NBC Sports]...

The United Football League Is What We Thought It Was!
Denny Green and Jim Fassel are back coaching pro football, and there may be a spot for Michael Vick as well. Welcome to the wonderful world of the UFL!...

Wake Up, Matt Jones
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Urban Meyer Is Nothing If Not Chivalrous
Florida coach Urban Meyer has a strict "no weapons" policy with his team, as you probably knew. But are you also aware that he insists that his players hold the door open for a lady?...

Tony Mandarich Fesses Up; Invented First Whizzinator
Former beefy lineman Tony Mandarich has recently admitted to the world that, yes, the incredibleness of his bulk was actually acquired not just by G'N'R and caffeine, but steroids....

The One Where The Vikings Let Us Know Their Players Did Not Bone Underage Girls
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Well To Be Fair, It Was A Bad Call
Parent sets some kind of record after being ejected for swearing at the refs after only 30 seconds ... from a fifth grade girls basketball game. [Des Moines Register]...

Goalie Uses Newfangled Gadget To Outfox Penalty Kickers
Manchester United won the Carling Cup last weekend in a dramatic(?) penalty shootout, but it turns out that goalie Ben Foster may have had some technological assistance....

Brandon Marshall Arrested Again
For disorderly conduct in Atlanta. Beware the firm hand of Goodell, Brandon. Now, that he might not be available for the season, maybe Jay Cutler will reconsider that trade scenario? [Denver Post.com]...

Adelman's Kid Close To A Rare DUI Hat Trick
David Adelman, son of Houston Rockets coach Rick Adelman and basketball coach at Lincoln High in Portland, Ore., earns his second DUI arrest since 2005. [Portland Oregonian]...

Shocking Development In The SI/Danica Tattoo Controversy
The intrepid Brooks of SPORTSbyBROOKS has Telexed us with an urgent communique regarding Danica Patrick's now-infamous checkered flag/Old Glory tattoo (these colors will eventually run as age takes its toll on Danica)....

We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for Monday's ESPN SportsNation chatters ......

The One Where Jamal Anderson Gets Kicked Out Of The Closet Again
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Sports Illustrated Finally Explains Wanton Danica Tattoo Removal
In a shining example of investigative journalism, CNBC's Darren Rovell attached himself, chimplike, to Sports Illustrated's haunches until the magazine finally explained why they Photoshopped away Danica Patrick's SI swimsuit issue ass tattoo....

Little Man Nate Exposes Superman's Weakness
Showmanship trumped awe-inspiration Saturday night, as 5'9 Nate Robinson's pogo-like leaping ability enabled him to win his second NBA dunk competition. SKEETS! ranked Robinson's "Krypto-Nate" as the best of the weekend....