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Ted Cruz Has Something Important To Say To The American People
Things got weird tonight at the Republican National Convention. Erstwhile Donald Trump enemy Ted Cruz took the stage, and boy did he have a lot to say....
Farewell To Ted Cruz, Self-Made Sucker
Ted Cruz, the worst possible man, lost the Indiana Republican primary to Donald Trump yesterday. He’d staked it as his last stand in the nominating race, even brokering a cynical armistice with John Kasich to unify anybody-but-Trump voters in the state, and got clobbered anyway, by some 17 percentag...
Let's Teach Ted Cruz Some Charisma
Politicians are in the business of persuasion, so it is always miraculous to see one succeed with an egregiously short supply of charm. It’s like the Hanukkah miracle, a menorah burning for eight days on a meager drop of oil; or, it’s like Ted Cruz conning his way onto the short list for our nation’...
Congratulations To Grayson Allen, Ted Cruz, And Colin Mochrie On Their Win Over UNC-Wilmington
It took some effort, but the Duke Blue Devils dispatched UNC-Wilmington in the first of today’s 16 NCAA tournament games. Grayson Allen, Ted Cruz, and Colin Mochrie await their next-round opponent....
Ted Cruz Hates Avocados, Is Incapable Of Non-Stupid Opinions
I mean ho-leeeeee shit. This is at least—at least!—2.7 times worse than the time he orchestrated the shutdown of the federal government for no goddamn reason....