tex Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome To The Gradual Unfucking Of College Football
Every year, right around this time, I cobble together a Hater's Guide to the Top 25 teams in college football. And it contains pretty much everything you would expect in any boilerplate piece of college football trolling: Notre Dame is full of haughty dipshits; Alabama fans are crazy redneck muta...
An Adrian Beltre Head-Touching Attempt, Foiled
Robinson Cano wasn't quick enough to touch Adrian Beltre's head in last night's game. Take notes from Miggy, Robinson....
Adrian Beltre And Elvis Andrus Continue To Be Hilarious
Adrian Beltre and Elvis Andrus, who are basically baseball's version of a buddy-cop duo at this point, put on another one of their comedy routines last night. After Andrus floated over to his right to field a pop fly in Beltre's territory, the two had a little tête-à-tête about who exactly needs...
Premier League Text Message Scandal Is Making Everybody Stupid
May you never have to be defended by Harry Redknapp. ...
Vince Young Wishes He Had Returned To Texas For His Senior Year
Appearing on The Lowdown with Alex Loeb on 104.9 FM in Austin earlier today, former NFL QB Vince Young said that he would have returned to UT if he had known the Houston Texans, which took Mario Williams first overall in 2006, weren't going to select him:...
Texas Athletic Director Channels Donald Sterling
The millionaire administrators who prop up the NCAA often say deeply, deeply stupid things when defending their right to make millions of dollars off of the unpaid labor of athletes, but what University of Texas athletic director Steve Patterson said in this month's issue of Texas Monthly deserves...
Challenger Emerges For Worst First Pitch Ever: Miss Texas
Replicating this to any degree of exactitude could actually be a contestant's talent routine in a beauty pageant. Miss Texas Monique Evans's form, a horse mascot, and most importantly, the perfect watching-a-car-drive-by reaction, all make this an incredibly rare and difficult feat. ...
Arian Foster Continues To Troll The Media
After Arian Foster gave the exact same answer 11 times in a 90-second interview, he got a letter from the NFL threatening a fine if he didn't start being more cooperative with the media. So Foster agreed to an interview with reporters after yesterday's practice, and he added a few twists to his old ...
"Uncle Nate" Auctioned Off A Rolex Johnny Manziel Gave Him
You do remember "Uncle Nate" Fitch, don't you? Johnny Manziel's bro/assistant/hanger-on, who allegedly arranged Manziel autograph sessions with memorabilia dealers that got the QB suspended for half of a game? Manziel's doing all right for himself now, and apparently so too is Uncle Nate....
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Houston Texans
Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Adam Dunn Pitched In A Game Tuesday Night
If there is a silver lining to a 15-0 game, it's the possibility that you might see something absurd, like watching a bear-man with 457 career home runs pitch in the ninth inning. Adam Dunn was called in to pitch the final inning for the White Sox tonight in a Rangers blowout. In one inning of wor...
Arian Foster Gave The Same Answer 11 Times In A 90-Second Interview
Arian Foster formally talked to media today for the first time since last season ended, but he didn't give them anything useful. The Texans running back basically repeated the same answer, about trying to be the best teammate he can be, for a minute and a half before peacing out. Though some Texans ...
The Rangers Cap Off Rough Sixth Inning With Outfield Beanball
The Yankees scored seven runs in the sixth inning, the last coming thanks to this fielding miscue in right-center field. Alex Rios looks like he had a bead on a fly ball from Brett Gardner, but closes his glove too soon, causing it to bounce into centerfielder Leonys Martin and ricochet off his skul...
Texas Longhorns Kicker Has The Best Roster Headshot
Texas Longhorns placekicker Nick Rose looks like he got lost on the way to Warped Tour. Where's the rest of Family Force 5?...
Brett Gardner Only Hits Home Runs Against Yu Darvish
Until Brett Gardner's seventh-inning single off Darvish, that headline was actually not hyperbole; it was fact. He had four career hits in 10 at-bats against Darvish, all home runs....
Police: Texas Football Players Sexually Assaulted Woman, Took Picture
Two Texas football players, Kendall Sanders and Montrel Meander, are charged with felony sexual assault for an attack that police say happened last month in a university dorm room. They have since been suspended from the team. ...
Kliff Kingsbury's Swaggy And Expensive-Looking Watch Is Probably Fake
Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury, the man who has gone to great lengths to craft a "James Bond coaches football" image for himself, showed up at Big 12 media days sporting a very expensive-looking watch. People on Twitter were taken aback by the watch, a Breitling Mulliner Tourbillon model that...
Colby Lewis Mad At Opponent For Trying To Help His Team Win
Another day, another MLB player upset over something totally benign....
Derek Holland And The Rangers Play A Game Called "Fart Bottle Roulette"
On Wednesday, Derek Holland went on the radio and told listeners of KRLD-FM about a game called Fart Bottle Roulette. I'm going to quote Derek Holland's explanation of what Fart Bottle Roulette is in just a minute, but you already know what Fart Bottle Roulette entails. You do. ...
Grand Jury Clears Texas Tech Recruit Of Charges For Pick-Up Hoops Punch [Update]
Nigel Bethel II was dismissed from the Texas Tech football team on June 29, a day after a scuffle with women's hoops leading scorer Amber Battle in a rec-center basketball game. Now he's been cleared of charges, and after viewing surveillance video that shows Battle punching Bethel first, the grand ...