tex Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ha, That Pass At 1:55
It's a slick enough pass by Van Exel, nothing extraordinary, but Brent Barry's reaction is pretty funny: He gets faked left by the behind-the-back move, then instantaneously recognizes he's been deked and transitions into doot-de-doot-de-doo, I was just strolling over here for my own purposes mode....

Ron Washington Resigns As Rangers Manager For "Personal Matter"
Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington unexpectedly resigned from his position today, citing the desire to "devote my full attention to addressing an off-the-field personal matter."...

The Associated Press Explains The Word "Trill"
"Though trill is a word to describe a vibratory sound, that's not what it means in rap culture. It's a hybrid of true and real and has long been used by Texas rapper Bun B, who calls himself Bun B Trill OG." ...

Don't Call Anyone On The Phone, Except For The Following Reasons
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering leaked nudes, urinals, asshole kids, and more....

Texans Sign J.J. Watt To Record-Setting Contract
Late last night, the Houston Texans and defensive end J.J. Watt agreed to a massive contract extension that will make Watt the highest-paid defensive player in the game, and it's hard to find anyone arguing he doesn't deserve it. ...

Report: Patriots Trade Quarterback Ryan Mallett To Texans
The Patriots kept Ryan Mallett along with Tom Brady and second-round pick Jimmy Garoppolo for their final roster cuts, and now it's clear why: They didn't want to release someone that could get a return. New England will reportedly ship Mallett to the Houston Texans....

A Kevin Sumlin Offense Is A Thing Of Alarming Beauty
Football is back. You can tell because Kevin Sumlin is wrecking shit....

Uh, Keep An Eye On The Guy In The Top Left
At least he's honest about it, I guess....

Welcome To The Gradual Unfucking Of College Football
Every year, right around this time, I cobble together a Hater's Guide to the Top 25 teams in college football. And it contains pretty much everything you would expect in any boilerplate piece of college football trolling: Notre Dame is full of haughty dipshits; Alabama fans are crazy redneck muta...

An Adrian Beltre Head-Touching Attempt, Foiled
Robinson Cano wasn't quick enough to touch Adrian Beltre's head in last night's game. Take notes from Miggy, Robinson....

Adrian Beltre And Elvis Andrus Continue To Be Hilarious
Adrian Beltre and Elvis Andrus, who are basically baseball's version of a buddy-cop duo at this point, put on another one of their comedy routines last night. After Andrus floated over to his right to field a pop fly in Beltre's territory, the two had a little tête-à-tête about who exactly needs...

Premier League Text Message Scandal Is Making Everybody Stupid
May you never have to be defended by Harry Redknapp. ...

Vince Young Wishes He Had Returned To Texas For His Senior Year
Appearing on The Lowdown with Alex Loeb on 104.9 FM in Austin earlier today, former NFL QB Vince Young said that he would have returned to UT if he had known the Houston Texans, which took Mario Williams first overall in 2006, weren't going to select him:...

Texas Athletic Director Channels Donald Sterling
The millionaire administrators who prop up the NCAA often say deeply, deeply stupid things when defending their right to make millions of dollars off of the unpaid labor of athletes, but what University of Texas athletic director Steve Patterson said in this month's issue of Texas Monthly deserves...

Challenger Emerges For Worst First Pitch Ever: Miss Texas
Replicating this to any degree of exactitude could actually be a contestant's talent routine in a beauty pageant. Miss Texas Monique Evans's form, a horse mascot, and most importantly, the perfect watching-a-car-drive-by reaction, all make this an incredibly rare and difficult feat. ...

Arian Foster Continues To Troll The Media
After Arian Foster gave the exact same answer 11 times in a 90-second interview, he got a letter from the NFL threatening a fine if he didn't start being more cooperative with the media. So Foster agreed to an interview with reporters after yesterday's practice, and he added a few twists to his old ...

"Uncle Nate" Auctioned Off A Rolex Johnny Manziel Gave Him
You do remember "Uncle Nate" Fitch, don't you? Johnny Manziel's bro/assistant/hanger-on, who allegedly arranged Manziel autograph sessions with memorabilia dealers that got the QB suspended for half of a game? Manziel's doing all right for himself now, and apparently so too is Uncle Nate....

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Houston Texans
Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Adam Dunn Pitched In A Game Tuesday Night
If there is a silver lining to a 15-0 game, it's the possibility that you might see something absurd, like watching a bear-man with 457 career home runs pitch in the ninth inning. Adam Dunn was called in to pitch the final inning for the White Sox tonight in a Rangers blowout. In one inning of wor...

Arian Foster Gave The Same Answer 11 Times In A 90-Second Interview
Arian Foster formally talked to media today for the first time since last season ended, but he didn't give them anything useful. The Texans running back basically repeated the same answer, about trying to be the best teammate he can be, for a minute and a half before peacing out. Though some Texans ...