the-children - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Australian Shopping Center Terrorized By A Pair Of Hellion Nine-Year-OldsTwo extremely, ah, feisty(?) nine-year-old girls went on an absolute fucking rampage at the Helensvale Shopping Centre in Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia yesterday. And by “absolute fucking rampage” I mean that they abused an old lady, spat on, punched, and kicked a security guard, and danced on a...

Lalalala, The Ginger Hammer Can't Hear You! Here is a story in three tweets....

Dumb Column About Michael Vick: "Who Will Think Of The Children?"There is a stupid thing in the New York Times today, which if read aloud in the proper cadence would sound quite a bit like a warmup oration for a tar-and-feathering. It's about Michael Vick, of course, and it argues that no team in the NFL should sign Michael Vick, for the sake of the children....

The Media Pearl-Clutching Over Kobe Bryant's <em>Call Of Duty</em> Commercial Has Begun

This is the commercial. This is Tim Keown's ESPN.com column, which is straight out of the Cokie Roberts "Oh noes! Blowjobs!" school of punditry. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEING USED FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT BY ANOTHER COLUMNIST GROUCHING ABOUT POP CULTURE?...

Won't Someone Think Of The Gay-Panicky Columnist's Children?

For a master class in how to write a breathtakingly stupid sports column from the Cokie Roberts school of "How will we tell the children about blowjobs?" argumentum ad moppet, please read FanHouse's David Whitley, hemming and hawing about gays on the Kiss Cam....