the Page 1046 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oh, Yeah, Baby, Hit That Sled! Oh, Oooohhh!
As a tight end, Kellen Winslow has the daunting task of learning both blocking and protection schemes with the offensive line, but also the reads and routes of the wide receivers. Miami Sports Blog shows us Winslow mastering the former component of his craft, in the presence of a, um, big fan. On th...

Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...

...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....

Legislating From The Luxury Box
Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your...

We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...

With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...

A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...

Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 1
On 2nd and goal w/ 20 seconds to go and one timeout, Marshall's head coach elects to center the ball and kick a FG rather than go for the touchdown. Who knew Pam Ward's vagina was contagious? -Insomniac's Lounge...

Just Wake Me When It's Over
September, of course, is when baseball approaches my favorite part of the season — the end. I have no genuine qualms with the game or its fans; in fact, I can think of few more enjoyable ways to spend a sunny weekend afternoon than taking in a Greenville Drive game and enjoying moderately-overpriced...

Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attempting to hibernate through Sunday morning. • CFB: Rutgers dispatched the Midshipmen 41-24. I wish the Marines had a football team, Ufford is the white Wes Welker.: • Boxing: Zab "Super Jew" Judah def. Edwin Vazquez in a unanimous decision. Zab survived an early headbutt th...

What Kind Of Sports Bar Societal Dregs Will You Encounter During Week 1?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Theo Epstein Is A Robot And Will Eventually Enslave Us All
In another chapter in our repeated quest to understand the quixotic planet of Red Sox Nation, we delve down the rabbit hole of the saga of Clay Buchholz....

Can One Courageous Squirrel Make A Difference In The NL Central?
When St. Louis Cardinals fans look back to identify the turning point in the 2007 season, they need go no further than Tuesday night. That's when one brave squirrel dared to make a difference, turning defeat into victory and giving wavering Busch Stadium fans a rallying point for this year, and all ...

It's The NFC South Pants Party
To the NFC South! We don't want to speak out of turn here, but we think the NFC South might be our least favorite division in football. There's the Saints — that's Kenny Chesney in that picture, of course — and then ... ugh....



About Last Night ...
What you missed while feeding your llama ... • MLB: Right back atcha ... Diamondbacks move back into virtual tie for first with Padres. Drama! • Tennis: Ferrer, not Federer, upsets Nadal at U.S. Open. • Gymnastics: Bend it like Horton ... lithe, flexible U.S. men qualify for Beijing Olympics....