the Page 1060 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Chris Angel makes your interest in his act disappear ... • MLB: New York Yankees at Chicago White Sox. And you thought there couldn't be anything more boring than the draft. [WGN] • NBA: Finals, Cleveland at San Antonio, Game 1. Where's Mamula? Wait ... look, Boobie! [ABC] • Soccer:...
Arizona Is Prettier Than Tennessee, And Knows It
Last night — in ESPN programming we were not watching — the Arizona Wildcats softball team beat Tennessee 5-0 to win the NCAA Championship. One of the fun aspects of NCAA softball is that, if you have one good pitcher, she can just pitch every game. Tarnye Mowatt pitched all 60 innings for the Wildc...
Sebastien Gacond Is Gay (As Long As You Make It Clear It's The "Happy" Kind Of Gay)
This is Sebastien Gacond. He is a professional triathlete, which is impressive; it must be difficult to be an athlete with three major appendages. He is also not gay. Not gay at all. Nothing gay about Sebastien Gacond. He is all man. It is extremely important that you understand this....
Watch, Hoof, Watch!
You've sat through "The Sopranos," waiting for them to just settle the whole matter already so you can stop seeing ads for it. You ordered HBO for one reason only. And the night you've been waiting for is among us: It's the HBO Barbaro Documentary....
Carl Monday: The Early Years
Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder w...
We've Always Thought We Kind Of Look Like Youppi
In a clever conceit, the guys at Rivalfish have come up with a comprehensive list of which celebrities look like which major sports team's logos. It sounds gimmick, and it kind of is, but they've certainly put in their research, as evidenced by the (not at ALL offensive!) Chief Nok-a-Homa / Tim Curr...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while helping Jamison Stone stalk his next kill ... • MLB: It's almost as if Alex Rodriguez is telling the world %$#! You! Yankees 7, White Sox 3. • Tennis: An American No Longer In Paris ... Serena booed, ousted by Justine Henin. • Women's softball: College World Series, Arizona bea...
Serena Williams Scoots Out Down The Road
Earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever the heck time it is in Australia), Serena Williams lost in the French Open. Fortunately, this video, from our friends at The Fanhouse, reveals that her time in France was anything but a waste. It's cute: She dances like our aunt at a wedding. Of course, our a...
It's Tough To Pass A Grenade Off Your Head
We're now eight hours in on this project, and we'll say this: We're about to pull the same stunt on our television that these soccer fans almost did after their team lost last week....
May We Have A Word, Please?
One of our favorite Steve Martin lines: "Some people have a way with words. Other people, er ... I don't know, not have way, I guess." From Houghton Mifflin comes the list of 100 essential words that every high school graduate should know, and we are very pleased to see two of our old favorites, "fe...
The Enigma That Is Billy Donovan
Well, now that lawyers are involved, we can reclassify the Billy Donovan saga from curiously entertaining to officially ugly. We'd love to know the real reason that Donovan balked on his Orlando Magic contract a mere two days after signing it; did he discover the team's troubling history of unprovok...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while looking for a phone booth ... • NHL: Duck Tales ... the Stanley Cup is one win from coming to California. Woooo! • MLB: It goes to 11 ... Mark Ellis hits for cycle as A's beat Red Sox in extra innings. • Motor Sports: Bang the Brake Drum Slowly ... Bill France Jr., RIP....
Throwing A Baseball Is Hard
In lieu of Danny DeVito's wretched throwing out of the first pitch at the Phillies game yesterday — we suspect he had some physical disadvantages here, like, say, being able to move his arms — and the disaster that was Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory, we are thinking a bit today about ceremonial first...
Nice Pitching, You Blockhead
Look, there's probably no tougher job in baseball than that of closer. But that being said, it's hard to imagine someone failing at it in more spectacular fashion than did the Giants' Armando Benitez last week. The Giants had a one-run lead in the ninth against the Mets on May 29 when Benitez was br...
A Q&A With Gov. Tommy Thompson
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...
Eric Mangini Enjoys Vesuvio's
We like Jets coach Eric Mangini, even if he's way too young to be that football-coach tubby. But we — as obsessed "Sopranos" fans since the very first episode — hope he understands the honor bestowed upon him. He cameoed last night on what was one of the most intense, breathtaking episodes of the mo...
Alex Rodriguez Resists Temptation
If it's true that A-Rod likes the "she-male, muscular type," then it must have been quite a struggle to maintain focus last night. Decent effort, Fenway fans ... but it wouldn't hurt you to show a little more cleavage....
Meet A-Rod's Lady
Today's Alex Rodriguez update: They've got the name of his lady, and she's a former Playboy model. She's Joslyn Noel Morse, and she was in this issue of "Casting Calls."...
The Entry Ramps To The Stadium Will Be Full Of Sleeping People
It is important that, in life, one have humanitarian instincts. But it is far more important that one has a place to show and pick up stimulants at 3:30 in the morning. Yep: There's a bowl game named after a truck stop. It's the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl. ...
The Otters Are No Longer Satisfied With Their Jug Band Christmas
Beware, everyone: The otters have finally had enough of centuries of human dominance and have banded together to destroy us. It was only a matter of time. We welcome our new otter overlords....