the Page 538 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Did Not Buy 6,500 Pairs Of Nikes To Send To The Dump, But Thousands Of Idiots Think I Did
First off, let’s get something out of the way: I did not purchase $1.3 million dollars’ worth of Nike Air VaporMaxes (White/Varsity Purple/Metallic Silver/Aqua, size 9.5) with the intent of shipping them to the Glendale city dump....
This Is The Showboatingest Homer I've Ever Seen
We have an extremely good controversy out of Southern Ontario’s Intercounty Baseball League, where the Barrie Baycats took down the Kitchener Panthers last week in a six-game series for their fifth straight championship. ...
Sam Hinkie Wants You To Help Him Build The Future Of Reading
Former Process architect, recent Broncos consultant, and present Bachelor enthusiast Sam Hinkie is seeking like-minded collaborators on a number of important projects....
Georgia State Coach Shawn Elliott Tore His Biceps Celebrating Touchdown In 41-7 Loss
Showing the unbridled enthusiasm of an assistant special teams coach, Georgia State head coach Shawn Elliott celebrated so hard after his team went up 7-0 on NC State last weekend that he tore his right biceps. He told reporters today that he will get surgery next week, which means Elliott will coac...
How Hard Does The Style On <i>Ballers</i> Ball? A Baller Ranking Of All The Ballers' Most Balleringist Looks
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Shrugs, Gives Albert Breer "Leading Role" At The MMQB
As recently as a few months ago, Sports Illustrated insisted that no one person was going to take over for Peter King as the head of the MMQB, the magazine’s NFL website. It was somewhat surprising, then, to see MMQB writer Albert Breer announce in a press release today that he has been promoted to ...
Pitt Assistant Coach Says He Hasn't Left His Office Since Losing To Penn State, Prefers Flat Soda
Penn State trounced Pitt 51-6 last weekend, and nobody is taking that loss harder than Panthers tight ends coach Tim Salem. Fueled by a steady diet of carbonation-free, ice-cold chartreuse soda, Salem has spent the last few days in his office grinding non-stop. He hasn’t really slept at all, presuma...
<i>Pardon The Interruption</i> Needs To Die
Before we get into the Funbag, I just wanna remind you that the Deadcast is gonna be LIVE in Chicago on Monday night. Go here for all the relevant info and then come get sloppy with us as we yammer on stage and then watch the Bears lose in sickening fashion once more....
There Is Nothing More American Than Burning Your Dumb Sneakers
“Calling a dream crazy is not an insult,” Colin Kaepernick says during a two-minute ad that Nike rolled out last Wednesday. “It’s a compliment.” It’s one of many perfectly circular blobules of aspiration that Kaepernick delivers in stop-and-go voiceover throughout the ad, and in that context and the...
The Lions Should Probably Never Play Like That Ever Again
It was a terrible, awful, no good and very bad day for Detroit’s two Matts—Stafford and Patricia—in the Lions’ Monday night season opener against the Jets. Stafford threw four terrible interceptions and finished with a quarterback rating of 47.9, and his shit sandwich of an evening was topped by a p...
Tiny Child On Field Can't Stand Titans-Dolphins Weather Delay
Today’s Titans-Dolphins game, currently in its second weather delay, sounds like absolute hell for any fans in attendance:...
Report: NFL Will Not Have National Anthem Policy This Season
Back in May, NFL owners terrified of Donald Trump approved a new jingoistic national anthem policy decreeing that “all league and team personnel shall stand and show respect for the flag and the Anthem,” before games. The new rule essentially banned any kind of visible protest—such as Colin Kaeperni...
SafeSport Bans Taekwondo's Steven Lopez, But Will It Last?
The U.S. Center for SafeSport has banned three-time Olympic taekwondo medalist Steven Lopez, declaring him permanently ineligible earlier this week for “sexual misconduct involving a minor.” According to a copy of the notice of the director’s decision and other SafeSport records, which Deadspin revi...
Ex-UFC Fighter Melvin Guillard Wanted By Cops For Flattening A Man Into Unconsciousness
Former UFC contender Melvin Guillard is currently wanted by the Denver PD after knocking someone out cold at a club in Denver early Monday morning. TMZ has obtained security camera footage of the incident, in which you can see Guillard, clearly identifiable given his usual bleach blonde hair, swingi...
Two FIU Football Players Shot In Drive-By Shooting
Two Florida International Panthers football players were shot this afternoon, according to Opa-locka (Florida) Police Chief James Dobson, via the Miami Herald. Neither player’s injuries are believed to be life-threatening....
NCAA Punishes Kentucky Soccer Players For Pick-Up Game With Foo Fighters
Dave Grohl and his classic rock band the Foo Fighters came to Lexington, Kentucky back in May, and boy did they get up to some trouble. The lowlife musicians hit the sleepy town like a heinous tornado of vulgar debauchery, and along the way they swept some University of Kentucky soccer players into ...
Let's All Be Really Wrong About The 2018 NFL Season
For all the things that there are to love about the NFL—idiotic and wholly unaccountable leadership, a profoundly malfunctioning moral compass, the new rules that no one even knows how to enforce, the whole Nathan Peterman Thing—the purest pleasure it offers is the chance to be wrong as hell about ...
Uganda's Answer To Rob Ford Is Somehow Even Less Athletic<em></em>
Moses Ali is the 79-year-old first deputy prime minister of Uganda. He is also enormously fat and wildly unathletic. Following in the footsteps of another politician who possessed a considerable girth and a dearth of athleticism, Ali embarrassed himself while trying to execute a routine physical mot...
Toilet President Goes Easy On Nike For Endorsing Colin Kaepernick: "They Pay A Lot Of Rent"
Hey, remember when the oven-baked ham in chief called NFL players who protest institutional racism and police brutality during pregame national anthem ceremonies sons of bitches, and said they should be fired? Remember how he’s humped that issue relentlessly, using it to lather up the worst dregs of...
Papa John Accuses Former Colleagues Of Unsavory Behavior, Like Trying To Bone Rick Pitino
The New York Post has obtained a letter written by the former papa of Papa John’s pizza—“Papa” John Schnatter—alleging that a group of executives at the company have engaged in “frat club”–level behavior on the job and gotten away with it for years....