the Page 559 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Peterborough United Desperately Sweeps To End Snow Delay
Snow days were great, and if you have the opportunity to get one as an adult, you should absolutely take it. But props to third-tier English soccer team Peterborough United for powering through and doing the absolute most they could do to avoid going home early on account of the late-February flurri...

Jon Jones: My Manager Took Those Mandatory Anti-Doping Classes For Me
The California State Athletic Commission held a hearing today to set former UFC champion Jon Jones’s punishment for testing positive for a banned steroid after beating Daniel Cormier last July. As many anticipated, he was fined $205,000 and stripped of his license for a year. However, Jones was not ...

LeBron James Doesn't Think The NCAA's Flaws Can Be Fixed
LeBron James, the greatest basketball player ever not to play college hoops, spoke up about the very stupid FBI investigation that has currently engulfed the sport. While James didn’t play college ball, he dipped his toe in the recruiting process and has firsthand experience with its shady side. His...

Don't Try To Use Jalen Ramsey As Marketing Material
Since college football coaches can’t offer recruits the opportunity to earn real money, they often have to resort to wooing them with the promise of future earnings, which of course will only become available after submitting themselves to a few years of getting yelled at by sunburned men in polos. ...

Unpaid Athlete Resolves Paid-Dinner Scandal By Giving $40 To Charity
Today in tremendously stupid updates from the FBI’s college basketball investigation: Michigan State’s Miles Bridges has officially been cleared to play. The sophomore guard has been absolved of his sins (allowing an agent to buy dinner for several members of his family last winter, which reportedly...

Nobody Seems To Know Whether Josh Emmett's Face Was Broken Legally<em></em>
This weekend, featherweight hitters Jeremy Stephens and Josh Emmett met in the octagon and punched each other a whole bunch, before Stephens knocked Emmett out early in the second round and broke his orbital bone in three places. Emmett—whose entire game is based around landing meaty shots with his ...

Fucking Carl Died? Oh Hell Yeah.
The Walking Dead, a show that has been on for as long as I’ve been alive, had its mid-season premiere (totally made-up thing) last night, and guess what? Fucking Carl ate it!...

Stan Van Gundy Roasts The NCAA, Calls Out Racism Of The One-And-Done Rule
Detroit’s Stan Van Gundy—one of the smartest and most quotable coaches in the NBA—got asked about the NCAA, and the Friday report about the FBI’s enforcement of recruiting violations, ahead of his Pistons’ game against the Hornets on Sunday. He took the opportunity to go in on the NBA’s free minor l...

Big South Underdog Celebrates Huge Upset Victory With Epic Water Fight
The Charleston Southern Buccaneers toppled Winthrop Saturday, 78-75, in a game I can’t imagine anyone reading this blog actually cares about. It was an upset, on the road—the Buccaneers came into the game 13-15 overall and 8-9 in Big South play, while Winthrop entered in second place in the conferen...

Shaq's Son Shareef O'Neal Withdraws Commitment To Arizona In Wake Of Wiretap Revelation
Dominoes are falling at Arizona as a result of the FBI investigation into recruiting violations at NCAA schools: Sean Miller might be out at Arizona—he is for sure not coaching the team tonight against Oregon—and now star recruit Shareef O’Neal is apparently withdrawing his commitment to the school:...

Report: Sean Miller May Be Owed Twice As Much By Arizona If He's Fired With Cause
Ah, now here is a sensible way to write a contract: make sure you include in there some significant monetary incentive for behavior that breaches the terms of the contract....

Report: Former Bears Great Charles Tillman Joined Up With The Man
I remember Charles Tillman as a fun player with a preternatural gift for causing turnovers, and though I have never been a Bears fan, I remember rooting for him personally out of appreciation for his mastery of the forced fumble and the defensive touchdown. Those were happy times, and like virtually...

These Weird Muffled Versions Of Old Songs Are Really Doing It For Me
Press play on this video and close your eyes:...

How To Go Backpacking In The Winter And Actually Have A Good Time
Just because the mercury has dropped below freezing and appears stuck there until spring, it’s no reason not to explore the outdoors. Let’s talk about how you, the fearful and apartment-bound city dweller, can get outside and embrace the cold....

<i>Annihilation</i> Will Creep You All The Way Out
If you saw the trailer for Annihilation and got hyped to watch Natalie Portman spend the movie kicking ass with a machine gun, mowing down monsters while dispensing action-movie cliches, you won’t get what you want. If you read Jeff VanderMeer’s novel, on which the movie is based, and expected a fa...

Idiot On The Ice Dons Tutu, Monkey-Shaped Dick Pouch To Run On Rink After Olympic Medal Ceremony
Those who stuck around after the medal ceremony for men’s 1,000m speed skating today were treated to the sight of a rather portly man, clad in a very short pink tutu and a monkey-shaped pouch that held his dick, running on the ice to perform a little dance. ...

Who Gives A Shit?
Let’s be clear on exactly what’s happening here. Yahoo! Sports is pushing out a press release for the FBI, which is acting as the enforcement arm of the NCAA. That all feels like a bigger scandal than a spreadsheet that shows, among other things, a basketball recruit’s mom receiving “hundreds of dol...

Roberto Luongo On Parkland Shooting: "Enough Is Enough. We Have To Take Action."
The Florida Panthers are playing their first home game since the mass shooting that killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland. The Panthers are the only major league team in Broward County, and just a short drive down the Sawgrass Expressway separates them from Parkland. B...

Dutch Speed Skaters Apologize For Jubilantly Tossing Giant Replica Medal At Fans
The Holland House is the place to be for the Pyeongchang Olympics if you’re Dutch. It has concerts, drunken revelry, appearances by medal-winning Dutch athletes, and possible minor head injuries. Speedskating quartet Sven Kramer, Jan Blokhuijsen, Patrick Roest, and Koen Verweij attended a party at t...

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Profane Dad Being Repeatedly Startled
A California teen had the fantastic idea to spend two weeks terrorizing her dad with a confetti gun. We hope he enjoys his fame while it lasts, because Ellen DeGeneres is definitely going to fire a giant confetti cannon at him and give him a heart attack live on her show....