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I Asked The World's Foremost Ethicist If It's Okay To Have A Revolution
There is inequality everywhere. But in San Francisco, it seems to be drawn by a cartoonist with an unrefined taste for absurdity....

Wrigleyville Is On The Case Of The Dildo-Thrower
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Happy Halloween!
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Bill Murray Sings "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" In His Own Unique Manner
Boy, Bill Murray’s really enjoying himself tonight, eh? We don’t know what’s up with the Daffy Duck bit, but we’re sure someone will have an answer down in the comments....

LSU Has Kept Its Mike The Tiger Tradition Alive With The Help Of Neglectful Backyard Zoos
For the past two generations, LSU has been obtaining successive iterations of their live tiger mascot, Mike the Tiger, from shoddy, abusive, and neglectful backyard zoos....

76ers Apologize For Preventing Singer With "We Matter" Shirt From Singing Anthem
The Philadelphia 76ers did some dumb shit before their home opener on Tuesday night, cancelling singer Sevyn Streeter’s scheduled performance of the national anthem because Streeter was wearing a shirt with “We Matter” written on it....

Pitt Runs Tackle-Around For Fat Guy Touchdown
Pitt tied up Virginia Tech tonight with another touchdown by offensive tackle Brian O’Neill. The 300-pounder took a backward pass to the end zone earlier this year against Georgia Tech, and tonight took a forward handoff—we called this the Revolving Door Play back where I come from—for a five-yard t...

Smash Mouth Love Trent Baalke, Hate Chip Kelly
Smash Mouth—the house band from hit 2001 film Shrek—are prominent, prolific Twitter users who are unafraid to go to the mattresses to correct the record if you spread falsehoods online. The San Jose, Calif. natives are also, as it turns out, big 49ers fans who count themselves among the ever-dwindli...

Joel Embiid Is Feeling Himself
Joel Embiid’s second defensive play in the NBA ended with him wrestling Steven Adams to the floor. Adams is a burly fucker with a nasty attitude, but the rookie went straight at him the first chance he got. On his first offensive possession, he immediately pulled up from three. He missed, just as he...

Singer Claims Sixers Prevented Her From Performing National Anthem Because Of "We Matter" Jersey
Singer Sevyn Streeter was supposed to perform the national anthem at the Philadelphia 76ers home opener this evening, but instead, a member of the Sixers’ dance team took the microphone before the game. Some fans were confused, and shortly after the game tipped off, Streeter posted a video claiming ...
![Your Dad Is Having A Great Time At The Sixers Game [Update: Not Anymore, They Kicked Him Out]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ixh0zezedl4f9ybswp8e.jpg)
Your Dad Is Having A Great Time At The Sixers Game [Update: Not Anymore, They Kicked Him Out]
The Process is not without its acolytes, such as Your Dad here. ...

Trump Ally Alex Jones: I'm Not Anti-Semitic, It's Just That The Jews Control Everything
You see, it’s not that Alex Jones—whom Donald Trump has previously called a “nice guy” with an “amazing” reputation—hates the Jews. It’s just that he knows how how devious and money-hungry they really are. And also that they control the Ubers....

Joel Embiid Says He Learned To Shoot By Watching White People Online
Joel Embiid, who’ll make his NBA debut tonight, wants our attention, so badly. He seeks it in many ways: by guzzling Shirley Temples by the syrupy pitcher, by clowning on Andrew Wiggins, or by publicly asking out Rihanna. And we give it to him, maybe a little begrudgingly, because the content is goo...

NCAA Rejects UNC's Stick-To-Sports Response, Moves Forward With Investigation
The NCAA issued yet another response in its convoluted back-and-forth with the University of North Carolina over the institution’s response to UNC’s sham Afro-American Studies department, which funneled athletes through paper classes....

Faster Is Better For The Suddenly Excellent Matt Stafford
Matthew Stafford is in his eighth season in the NFL. He’s lost Calvin Johnson to retirement, and thanks to injuries he’s currently without his top three running backs and his top two tight ends. Yet Stafford is having the best season of his career, a potentially MVP-caliber year, and it’s being trea...

Working At A University Is No Picnic
The Harvard dining hall worker strike is over. About time! In honor of this historic confluence of gilded academia and low-wage workers, let’s hear some true stories of what it’s like working a normal job at a nice college....

Brett Favre's Vikings Had A "Bounty" Program Too
This excerpt from Gunslinger: The Remarkable, Improbable, Iconic Life of Brett Favre by Jeff Pearlman is reprinted with the permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Buy it here. ...

MLS
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Let's Just Fix The Busted System Instead??
If your nation has a political system that is, by design, unfair for an enormous portion of your population, don’t bend yourself into pretzels trying to accommodate this bad system. Change the system, idiots! ...

Beer Titties Metal
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...