the Page 612 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New Orleans Baby Cakes Mascot Fulfills Commitment To The Minor-League Snarl<em></em>
The AAA baseball team formerly known as the New Orleans Zephyrs will henceforth be known as the New Orleans Baby Cakes. This is undoubtedly a unique mascot, one that will surely draw internet ire the same way that fellow New Orleanian King Cake Baby (deservedly) did, but Baby Cakes is a good mascot....
How To Be Horny Online
Deadspin is a liberal site (some might say too liberal), and to that end we encourage you to explore your sexuality. A great way to do that safely and limitlessly is online. Of course you already knew that. As soon as there was an online, people just like you and me were horny on it....
Government Employees Have A Lot Of Thoughts About Working For Donald Trump
It turns out that lots of federal government employees are ready to share their thoughts on what it is like staring down the prospect of working under a Donald J. Trump administration. ...
<i>Thursday Night Football</i> Commercial: Folks, Remember The Freakin' Dress?!?
The NFL has been dealing with low television ratings all season, and people have all sorts of theories about why that is. One theory that the NFL itself seems to buy into is that the league isn’t doing enough to appeal to meme enthusiasts, because I can’t imagine why else this commercial was created...
Carmelo Anthony Says The Referee Who Booted Him Has A Grudge
If you’re feeling a sense of cosmic upheaval, that everything around you is shifting, rest assured that the Knicks are still 3-6 on the season and that Carmelo Anthony is still marinating in quiet resentment. ...
The Grim Future Of Labor Under Trump
As our nation slowly awakens from its Trump-induced coma, we begin to contemplate what the next four years will mean for our most important issues. For workers, and anyone who cares about inequality, the prospects are terrifying....
We Agree
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Pitt Stuns Clemson
Chris Blewitt’s 48-yard field goal in the final seconds gave Pitt a 43-42 win over second-ranked and undefeated Clemson, throwing the college football playoff race into chaos....
Lee Corso Has A #BABYARM
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
<i>New York Times </i>Washington Editor Asks, Why Won't The Democrats Be More Racist?
In defeat, American liberals and the left are currently engaged in two arguments, which really amount to one argument: Whose fault is it that Hillary Clinton lost, and what should the Democratic Party do to defeat Donald Trump and down-ballot Republicans the next time around?...
Conor McGregor To Guy Who Told Him Not To Call Him A Bitch: "Bitch"<em></em>
Conor McGregor is a louche-ass provocateur who will waste no opportunity to talk wild shit to or throw objects at anyone he’s fighting. He doesn’t really draw a line there either, as he’s been known to roast thirsty fighters who have nothing to do with him. Which brings us to Tyron Woodley, who got ...
Donald Trump Doesn't Like This Any More Than You Do
Donald Trump does not want to be the president....
Repent, For The Mongoose Horde Is Nigh
Stay away from open windows. Lock your doors. The mongoose legion approaches. There will be no survivors....
Please Return Cassius Marsh's Stolen <i>Magic: The Gathering</i> Cards
I’ve never lost my Magic: The Gathering cards to anything more malicious than a sofa cushion, but I can fathom the pain Seattle Seahawks linebacker Cassius Marsh is feeling after his Land Rover was broken into on Tuesday night. What follows is a tragic sequence of events, and a translation....
Cam Newton Is Still Getting Destroyed, Still Not Getting Flags
Just days after announcing he was worried about his safety, Cam Newton took a pair of vicious hits that went unflagged. Sunday at the Rams, Newton was drilled twice with helmet-to-helmet hits. And according to ESPN’s Ed Werder, the league reviewed the plays and determined no rules were violated....
The Only Thing That Makes The Media Better Is Diversity
Donald Trump won, and the media is grasping for answers as to why we didn’t predict it. Already, you can see the seeds of many bad solutions forming. ...
The New Movement Starts Now
This morning, many Americans woke up fearful, wondering what comes next. The only possible answer: four years of hard fucking work. ...
Chris Matthews: John F. Kennedy Would Go Watch Porn Instead Of Election Results
While the first wave of election results was coming into the MSNBC studios, Chris Matthews regaled viewers with an anecdote about presidential horniness. Matthews was discussing political officials who preferred not to watch the news and keep track of election results, including his former boss Tip ...
Report: NCAA To Skip Penn State-Level Sanctions Against Baylor
Baylor’s interim president, football coaches, fans, board of regents, and current players and students all have an opinion on who should be blamed for the school’s inability to report and address sexual assault. In surprising news, the NCAA does not seem to have an opinion....
How Long Can You Wear Championship Gear?<em></em>
Hey, it’s Election Day! You should go vote. Unless you forgot to register, in which case it’s probably too late, in which case you are utterly powerless to control the country’s destiny, in which case we may all burn forever as a result of your negligence, in which case you should hide when we come ...