the Page 612 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: NCAA To Skip Penn State-Level Sanctions Against Baylor
Baylor’s interim president, football coaches, fans, board of regents, and current players and students all have an opinion on who should be blamed for the school’s inability to report and address sexual assault. In surprising news, the NCAA does not seem to have an opinion....
How Long Can You Wear Championship Gear?<em></em>
Hey, it’s Election Day! You should go vote. Unless you forgot to register, in which case it’s probably too late, in which case you are utterly powerless to control the country’s destiny, in which case we may all burn forever as a result of your negligence, in which case you should hide when we come ...
Theo Epstein Ate Goat In The Bleachers At Wrigley
Theo Epstein is having a pretty good life. On top of ending a cumulative 194 years of historic championship droughts, Epstein can get whatever meats he wants on demand, and he can eat those meats wherever he damn well pleases....
Jon Jones Handed One-Year Suspension For Failed Drug Test
Four months after a positive drug test got Jon Jones pulled from his headlining bout with Daniel Cormier in UFC 200, Jones has officially been handed a one-year suspension in an arbitration proceeding before the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency. The ban will keep him out of the octagon until next July....
Baby Iguana Vs. Sea Snakes Is The Wildest Sports Highlight Of The Day
Last night, BBC rolled out the first part of its six-episode series, Planet Earth II; host David Attenborough and the showrunners wasted no time showing us that nature is sports and being born as anything but a human is scary as hell. Also, snakes are still the devil (even with the 10-year interim b...
The Entire Plot Of The Next Season Of <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Seems To Have Leaked
HBO’s Game Of Thrones, the hit show about sibling fucking, is currently in the process of filming its seventh and kinda-sorta-not-really final full season in Spain. While most of the plot developments of the first six seasons were either matters of public record or relatively simple to discern, auth...
Billionaire CEO Has A Few More Incredibly Patronizing Thoughts Before Election Day
This presidential election could decide the fate of abortion, immigration, race relations, and nuclear proliferation. What our nation needs now is a patronizing letter from an egomaniac corporate CEO. ...
They Finally Took Away Donald Trump's Twitter Account
With just two days left in our collective national hell, the Trump campaign is in its final push to do... something. After all, Trump doesn’t have any pollsters since the campaign refused to pay them. And he barely has the support of his own favorite daughter. Now, though, Trump’s lost perhaps the o...
Fan Runs On Field, Headbutts Official In Algerian Soccer League
There really aren’t too many avenues for fans to express displeasure towards officials. There’s a large vocabulary to express that displeasure—like, any and every obscenity imaginable, to start—but actual methods of expression here are largely limited to just screaming from the stands like an asshol...
Cucked Penguin's Insane Revenge Fight Is The Horror Movie Of The Year<em></em>
The good people at National Geographic host a program called “Animal Fight Night.” Reader, it is exactly what you’d expect. ...
Give Theo Epstein And Bill Murray A Buddy Cop Movie, Now
Theo Epstein was rightfully and marvelously tanked last night on national television. Bill Murray, the better of the two Cubs mascots, helped him along his way....
Reminder: Manny Pacquiao Would Like To Execute Anyone Who Has A Poppy Seed Bagel
This Saturday night, Manny Pacquiao will fight Jesse Vargas on pay-per-view. The matchup is thoroughly forgettable. But Pacquiao’s management would like to remind you that in his political career, he wants to execute many, many people! ...
Ben Simmons: "The NCAA Is Really Fucked Up"
Philadelphia 76ers forward Ben Simmons has joined the symphony of current and former college athletes who are dissatisfied with the NCAA’s mission to separate athletes from the wealth they help create....
Get A Load Of The Sports Dude's Extremely Poor World Series Take
Hey, look! It’s The Ringer’s Bill Simmons, definitely unknowingly walking smack-dab into what in no way looks like a prearranged and staged TMZ ambush today in Los Angeles, where reporters lurked to find out what famous Hollywood power-player Bill Simmons thinks will happen in Game 6 of the World Se...
Cam Newton Is Right To Be Pissed
After he took a hit to his knee that wasn’t flagged on Sunday, Cam Newton went off on the NFL. “At times I don’t even feel safe,” Newton, the reigning league MVP, said at the start of an extended rant about calls he frequently doesn’t get. “And enough is enough.”...
Uber Completely Suckers The Labor Movement
As the iconic company of the terrifying new “gig economy,” Uber has long been a prime target of labor activists who want to make sure its drivers are protected. Uber has effectively conned the hell out of all of them. ...
Hold On, Has Matt Harvey Never Seen <i>The Dark Knight</i>?
Matt Harvey, the New York Mets ace, has been going by the nickname “The Dark Knight” since early 2013—the name stuck after Sports Illustrated put Harvey on the cover of its May 20, 2013 edition along with the copy, “The Dark Knight of Gotham.” In retrospect, this may have a bit of a premature move, ...
The Wildest Fan Theories About <i>Kevin Can Wait</i>
Everyone loves Westworld, but the only thing everyone loves more than Westworld are theories about the future plot events of Westworld. Fans coming up with and then spreading theories of dubious repute is not a phenomenon unique to HBO’s new show about cowboys and sex robots, but the layered uncert...