the Page 640 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Northern Iowa Advances On Half-Court Buzzer-Beater
Paul Jesperson’s half-court desperation heave found the bucket and delivered the Northern Iowa Panthers to the NCAA tournament’s second round, erasing a game-tying basket with two seconds remaining by Texas’s Isaiah Taylor and eliminating the Longhorns....
The Best Baseball Drill Is The One Where You Just Throw The Ball Hard As Fuck
Until today, I had never heard of a pull-down, a baseball drill in which one crow hops towards a target and then unleashes a fastball from about 30 feet away. It looks like a hell of a lot of fun, though. ...
Looking Good, Sean Miller
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Taurean Prince Shoves Rico Gathers After Heated Exchange
Things are not going well for the five-seeded Baylor Bears right now. They are currently losing to 12-seed Yale, and their players are openly going after each other during timeouts. ...
Third Successive Court Smacks NCAA Down, Allows Todd McNair's Lawsuit To Proceed
The California Supreme Court ruled against the NCAA, declining to review the 2nd District Court of Appeal’s December decision allowing former USC football assistant coach Todd McNair’s lawsuit against the NCAA to proceed. McNair is likely to win at least a part of his lawsuit, which in its course wi...
Only Bill Simmons Is Allowed To Say Boston Might Want Kevin Durant
Hot sports-media beefing action today, as ESPN used the occasion of tonight’s game between the Thunder and the hosting Boston Celtics to note, on SportsCenter and in an article by Chris Forsberg, that the Boston Celtics probably would like to have 27-year-old four-time scoring champ, five-time All-N...
A Beginner's Guide To The Inane Supreme Court Nomination Process
This morning, after weeks of speculation, President Obama tapped Chief Judge Merrick Garland of the D.C. Court of Appeals to assume the Supreme Court seat vacated by the late Justice Scalia. But the president’s formal announcement of his choice from among many attractive, well-qualified candidates i...
Adam LaRoche Retired Because The White Sox Wouldn't Let His Kid Hang Out In The Clubhouse Every Day
On Tuesday, Chicago White Sox first baseman Adam LaRoche announced, much to the relief of White Sox fans, that he would retire from baseball. It now appears that his decision was related less to his inability to hit at a major league level or to injuries than to his 14-year-old son, Drake. According...
Presenting The 2016 Name Of The Year Bracket
These are exciting times for Name of the Year....
The Rejected Names For Bill Simmons's New Site
The Ringer, Bill Simmons’s new venture, released its first newsletter today. The introduction featured an explanation for how the staff decided upon “The Ringer,” as well as a list of all the curve-related names....
Drink Up Fuckers
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Runaway Bull Makes For Very Intimidating Pitch Invader
This rambunctious bovine wanted to join some Australian youths in their soccer game after escaping his nearby paddock. Unfortunately, the kids were very rude and refused to pass him the ball, so he had to retreat back to the forest. ...
Report: Both Kimbo Slice And Ken Shamrock Failed Drug Tests Before Bellator 149
Per a report from MMA Fighting, Kimbo Slice and Ken Shamrock both tested positive for illegal substances before last month’s Bellator 149. It’s not yet clear what exactly the fighters took, but both face 90-day suspensions and up to $5,000 in fines....
The Beat Generation Starter Kit
The Beats were the Nirvana of their generation: individualistic, drug-addled, and, unfortunately, sometimes held responsible for the Nickelbacks created in their wake. Beats begat beatniks, those beret-wearing, saxophone-loving hipsters who morphed into gross ’60s hippies. And now this loose collect...
NFL Network's Heath Evans Calls For Roger Goodell To Blackball Johnny Manziel
Professional moron Heath Evans spoke on the NFL-owned NFL Network today and called on league commissioner Roger Goodell to throw out the collective bargaining agreement and ban teams from signing troubled quarterback Johnny Manziel....
How To Complain Without Sounding Like A Brat
Let us begin with the obvious: Complaining is great. It is the backbone of human civilization, complaining. “To exchange dissatisfactions is to acknowledge another person’s existence, and to share rueful mutual sympathy at the sometimes tremendously irritating predicament of having been born,” wrote...
A Child's Treasury Of Photos Of Nate Diaz Beating Conor McGregor's Ass
Conor McGregor is a blowhard troll who’s been terrorizing the top ranks of pro fighters lately, while Nate Diaz is a lovable dirtbag who’s lost more than he’s won over the last couple of years. McGregor says things like, “I’ve got world titles and multi millions of dollars, you got 20 thousand to sh...
Milwaukee Brewers Claim That Hank The Dog Did Not Die And Get Replaced By A Cooler Hank
The Milwaukee Brewers held a press conference today to address rumors of Hank the dog’s death. The team stated that despite a change in his appearance, Hank has not been replaced by a new dog at any point since the team found him at spring training in 2014....
Jaromir Jagr Gave Up His 10 Cups Of Coffee Per Day For Lent
I am starting to think that Jaromir Jagr has an unhealthy relationship with caffeine. Long known as a militant Diet Coke drinker—at least five a day, “no vitamins, nothing”—Jagr this year switched to coffee, and upped his intake to what for a normal human would be a frightening quantity of the stuff...