the Page 640 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Child's Treasury Of Photos Of Nate Diaz Beating Conor McGregor's Ass

Conor McGregor is a blowhard troll who’s been terrorizing the top ranks of pro fighters lately, while Nate Diaz is a lovable dirtbag who’s lost more than he’s won over the last couple of years. McGregor says things like, “I’ve got world titles and multi millions of dollars, you got 20 thousand to sh...

Milwaukee Brewers Claim That Hank The Dog Did Not Die And Get Replaced By A Cooler Hank

The Milwaukee Brewers held a press conference today to address rumors of Hank the dog’s death. The team stated that despite a change in his appearance, Hank has not been replaced by a new dog at any point since the team found him at spring training in 2014....

Jaromir Jagr Gave Up His 10 Cups Of Coffee Per Day For Lent

I am starting to think that Jaromir Jagr has an unhealthy relationship with caffeine. Long known as a militant Diet Coke drinker—at least five a day, “no vitamins, nothing”—Jagr this year switched to coffee, and upped his intake to what for a normal human would be a frightening quantity of the stuff...

Is Hank The Dog Dead?

He came to the Milwaukee Brewers’ spring training facility dirty, lost, and injured. He won the hearts of fans and became an unofficial mascot. But is the current Hank the dog we all adore the same Hank the dog from 2014?...

There Are At Least Four Classic References In This Image

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Pittsburgh Sports-Themed Cruise Rescues 16 Migrants Near The Gulf Of Mexico

The 2016 “Legends Of Pittsburgh” cruise disembarked from Miami on Thursday, charting a course through the Keys, then eventually to Cozumel, Mexico. The Legends cruise promises, among other things, that guests can, “Hang at the pool, take selfies, and get autographs with your favorite Pittsburgh athl...

"WE BE CHAMPIONSHIP": Draymond Green's Mother Pens Open Letter To Warriors Haters

The Warriors are probably going to win at least 70 games, and are currently on pace to eclipse Michael Jordan’s 1996 Bulls and win 73. They’re good and fun and they’re killing everyone, but even they’ve drawn some haters. Draymond Green’s mother wrote an open letter to those haters. Hey, Oscar Rober...

Televangelist Finally Discovers Direct Link Between Nick Saban And The Devil

We’ve long suspected a link between Crimson Tide head coach Nick Saban and the dark lord Satan—the names are just one letter away, jeez!—but here’s televangelist David Uth pointing out that the link between Alabama and sin is one inscribed in the Holy Bible....

I Think These Sixers Fans Have Stockholm Syndrome

What is the saddest thing?...

Washington Football Team Sues Former Player For Extra Severance Pay They Accidentally Gave Him

H.B. Blades was a sixth-round pick from Pittsburgh who played four seasons for Washington as a linebacker. The team cut him in 2011, and formally paid him $40,000 in severance pay in September 2012. However, they also paid out that same sum a few months later, and they’ve been fighting in court ever...

Dutch Guy Chips Like Four Dudes To Score World-Class Goal

Look at all the dang dudes our friend Jonhatan Opoku chips here. I’m gonna lump the keeper and that last hapless center back in as a pair, making four....

Chicago ABC Station Apologizes For Using McDonald's Restaurant Graphic In Story On Laquan McDonald

Chicago ABC station WLS issued an on-air apology last night after using a McDonald’s restaurant over-the-shoulder graphic to illustrate a story on Laquan McDonald, the 17-year-old killed by police in 2014:...

Rex And Rob Ryan Are Ready For Some NFL Combine Action

Throwback Buffalo Bills jerseys: check. Vanilla bean frappucinos: check. Those rambunctious Ryan boys are all set to scout some players....

The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars

Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone got pissed because all of them were white. So here we have one of the greatest social commentators of his generation presiding over a ceremony that is in DESPERATE need of a public fl...

Kobe Bryant Makes Another Fan Look Like An Awkward Schmuck

Kobe Bryant has been a kindler and gentler version of himself during his farewell season, and it’s been a little hard to understand how Kobe could suddenly stop being a vicious, hypercompetitive maniac. I’ve developed a groundbreaking new theory, though, that explains how Kobe’s been able to maintai...

Hahaha, What The Hell Kind Of Ingenious Rainbow Goal Is This?

This goal, scored by Ranger’s striker Kenny Miller, is crazy. The ball’s trajectory is less a dipping curler and more a meteor falling out of the sky and somehow landing in the side netting. It’s a curve you’d learn to plot in high school math class with your graphing calculator come to life. The go...

Sports Highlight Of The Day: Dog Blocks Cat

There are no sports. This is mildly athletic. Take it, please....

Rain Delay Theater Features Jousting

Former British Olympian And Diehard Arsenal Fan Did Not React Well To Yesterday's Loss [Update: This Didn't Happen]

Update [11:01 a.m.]: Turns out, the tweeted picture showing the remote in the TV was a joke and not actually a picture of Sotherton’s TV. Sorry for the error. The original post is below....

Bud The Great

Terence Crawford doesn’t look very intimidating, given the right setting....