the Page 641 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barcelona Beat Arsenal Because They Have Lionel Messi
Okay, so it wasn’t just because Barcelona had Lionel Messi and Arsenal didn’t that the reigning Champions League title holders beat Arsenal today, even if the Argentine did account for both goals in the likely tie-deciding 2-0 scoreline. Unlike some of his most transcendent performances—like, say, h...
Rory McIlroy Made Shane McMahon Disappear For Five Years
Remember this guy? We’re pretty sure his last TV appearance was being the first to congratulate Rory McIlroy on blowing the 2011 Masters with a round of 80, nearly five years ago. Shane McMahon returned to Raw tonight, where we learned the CEO’s son will be taking on The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. ...
Kanye West's "Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1" Has Inspired A Good Meme
Most memes are bad, but some memes are very good. This one, which is based on the very true idea that the beat drop from Kanye West’s “Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1” can improve any video, is a good meme....
Don Mattingly's Marlins Take A Lesson From Mr. Burns And Ban Facial Hair
Let’s all go back to 1992, when The Simpsons’ “Homer At The Bat” first aired. Mr. Burns recruits a bunch of ballplayers as ringers for his softball team, including Don Mattingly. Here’s a very good, long piece on the episode, and how it got made....
Volkswagen-Sponsored Wolfsburg Fine Nicklas Bendtner For Posting A Photo Of Himself With A Benz
Nicklas Bendtner has always been, let’s say, a vibrant character. A few years ago, he whipped his dick out and tried to hump a taxi, UEFA fined for wearing the wrong underwear, and he’s been arrested for trying to kick down a door in his own apartment building because he wanted to go swimming. Bendt...
Report: Dada 5000 Was In Critical Condition And His Heart Stopped After Kimbo Slice Knocked Him Out
Dhafir Harris, aka Dada 5000, was stretchered out of the ring yesterday after Kimbo Slice knocked him out in the third round (or more accurately, after he just sort of woozily collapsed and fell down). It was a strange ending to a strange fight, the line on which moved all the way to a pick ‘em afte...
Sports Highlight Of The Week: This Kid Eating It Over And Over
We did it, everyone. We made it through a long, boring week without any sports on but hockey. (Even though hockey is good and you should try it.) Celebrate with this child getting owned repeatedly....
MLB Agent Arrested On Human-Trafficking Charges
Yahoo’s Jeff Passan is reporting that MLB agent Bart Hernandez was arrested this morning after a federal grand jury indicted him on human-trafficking charges....
The Best Track On Kanye West's <i>The Life Of Pablo </i>Is Also, Somehow, The Worst
What the world needs now is a great Kanye West song: no less and please, God, no more. Enough with the delays, the obfuscations, the feuds, the amusing tantrums misidentified as unhinged rants, the legit unmisidentifiable social-media disasters. It’s exhausting. He’s exhausting. We’re exhausted. To ...
P.K. Subban Benched, Blamed For Canadiens Loss
The Canadiens have sunk like a stone, going from a historically good first month of the season to well out of the playoff picture, and with Carey Price reportedly likely done for the year with an MCL injury, there’s no reason to think they’re going to turn things around. So it’s about that time of y...
Bill Simmons's New Site Has A Name And Some New Hires
Bill Simmons’s new website will be called The Ringer, CNN’s Brian Stelter reported today. It’ll also bring in a bunch of people from Grantland....
Tonight's NBA All-Star Game Graphics On TNT Brought To You By Microsoft Paint
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Jay Bilas Jinxes Buddy Hield, Kansas Takes Down Oklahoma Again
If you’re not a superstitious person, or you don’t believe in the basketball gods, this here’s a good argument for conversion. ...
Report: Panthers DE Kony Ealy Sued For Alleged Puppy Fraud
The Boerboel, a.k.a the South African Mastiff, is one of the biggest dog breeds in the world. Adults can top 200 pounds, and they were bred to guard farms and diamond mines down in South Africa. Look at this huge pup. His head’s the size of a dang Mini Cooper....
Mark Wahlberg From <i>Ted 2</i> Misses A Hole-In-One At Pebble Beach By Inches
Mark Wahlberg, famous for such movies as Ted and Ted 2, is, it turns out, a real damn good golfer. Look at the curve on this bad boy....
The Sixers Realize They're A Big Joke, Are Now Maybe Trying To Fix That
The Philadelphia 76ers, those smirking pioneers of a remarkably misguided, anti-fun, actuarial, game theory-ass approach to NBA basketball, are now starting to realize that you can’t exactly build a winning basketball team while ignoring, well, the basketball. Back in December, the NBA more or less ...
Players Keep Complaining About Maryland's Under Armour Balls
Here’s a stupid fact about college basketball: The million-dollar sponsorship deals that schools sign with various apparel companies has created a sport in which there is no universal game ball. Nike schools use Nike balls, Adidas schools use Adidas balls, and so on....
Garbage Beef Tastes Like The Great Depression Probably Felt
The Woe of Cooking is an ongoing fiasco where Jesse Farrar unearths the weirdest, grossest recipes he can find in The Joy of Cooking, and cooks/eats them. It has been awhile; we missed you....