the Page 660 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hot Dog Eats Hot Dog
An Atlanta-area hot dog committed an act of cannibalism at today’s Bark in the Park event at Turner Field. You may remember a different dog at a different Bark in the Park who also wanted a hot dog. Unlike that unfortunate pup, our friend here succeeded. Good for him. ...
Ball Boy Chases After Fan Who Tries To Steal Football
“We must protect the integrity of the game!” Here’s a Bears fan who grabs a kickoff that went past the end zone and tries to do his best Devin Hester impression. Roger Goodell has mustered a death squad. ...
A Hot-Pepper IPA For Tasteful Tough Guys
Earlier this week, it was announced that Anheuser-Busch InBev, the Belgo-Brazilian conglomerate that owns Budweiser, Stella Artois, and a great many other beers you hate, is trying to acquire SABMiller, the British and South African concern responsible for all the Miller, Coors, Leinenkugel (it’s tr...
ESPN's Matthew Berry Sells Credibility To DraftKings
You know how it’s barely Week 2 of the NFL season and you’re already sick and fucking tired of DraftKings commercials? Well, good luck, because ESPN fantasy writing is now just one long DraftKings commercial too....
Stephen A. Smith, Useful Idiot, Connects Weed To The Collapse Of Civilization
Stephen A. Smith, the painfully articulate, misogynistic, Floyd-fluffing TMT roadie, is still employed by ESPN, which means he showed up to work today to say fun, dumb shit very loudly to and with Skip Bayless on First Take. Today’s topic: drugs!...
<i>First Blood </i>Is A Darker, Sadder, And Better Rambo Flick Than You Remember
The climax of 1982’s First Blood isn’t a gun battle or a knife fight. It’s Sylvester Stallone, as John Rambo, breaking down into big, blubbery tears, trying to make sense of the world around him. He’s learned that he’s the last surviving member of his elite fighting force, that America has no furthe...
Ducks' Clayton Stoner Charged For Killing And Beheading Cheeky The Bear
NHL player Clayton Stoner, then with the Minnesota Wild, traveled to British Columbia in May of 2013, killed a grizzly bear, cut off his head, and posed for a photo. That September, we declared him an enemy of Deadspin. Today, Stoner’s facing five charges related to the death of Cheeky the bear....
Ta-Nehisi Coates Needs An Editor, Says Editor Who Edited Like One Blog Post In 18 Months
Earlier this week, Atlantic writer Ta-Nehisi Coates published an enormous study of mass incarceration and its impact on African-American families in America today. The article is comprehensive, exhaustive, compellingly written, and reaches back into centuries of American oppression to come to the co...
How To Answer The Phone
Your phone rings. It isn’t one of the two people you talk to regularly, but also doesn’t appear to be a bill collector. And you, you’ve been answering the phone the same way since you were 12. Get yourself together. ...
Kevin From <i>The League</i> Admits He Made Up Story About Narrowly Escaping 9/11
Steve Rannazzisi, whom you may know from The League, those Buffalo Wild Wing commercials, or—well, just those two things—has an old chestnut he’s always used to explain how he got into comedy: the Long Island-born actor cites 9/11 as the impetus for his move to Los Angeles. Rannazzisi says he was wo...
Classic Man: "Going Bald Is One Of The Most Severe Tests"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed how to tell if a lady is coming onto you; today, let’s talk tips for coping with baldness....
Man At White Sox Game Reacts Appropriately To The Wave
A reader says he took this video at Saturday’s White Sox game. The wave sucks. Consider this a prompt to argue about the wave....
This Is A Good Football Photo
Yahoo’s Kevin Kaduk spotted this photo—by Getty Images’ Mike Ehrmann—and said it looks like a video game. It really, really does. (You’ll want to click on the magnifying glass at top left to view it at full resolution. Even then, and maybe it’s the low angle or the gross uniforms or the scoreboard g...
Here's Will Ferrell's At-Bat In <i>Ferrell Takes The Field</i>, Which Was A Drag Otherwise
Spoiler Alert: They don’t really let Will Ferrell pitch in Ferrell Takes the Field, his stunt HBO doc where he plays every position (plus designated hitter) for 10 different MLB teams during one day of 2015 spring training action in Arizona. No, in his 90-second stint with the Dodgers, he throws one...
Luke Kuechly Leaves Game With Scary Head Injury
Luke Kuechly left today’s game against the Jaguars with what looks like a head injury. Late in the second quarter, Kuechly tackled T.J. Yeldon with his head and immediately went into a daze and fell over. The trainer then fell down and knocked his helmet off, which would be funny were it not involvi...
Enjoy Several Minutes Of Zeke The Wonder Dog Performing At The Oregon-MSU Game
Zeke The Wonder Dog is a Michigan State tradition, with some iteration of the frisbee dog performing at Spartans games since the 1970s. Here’s your most modern Zeke getting some action during halftime of tonight’s big game against Oregon. Good dog!...
Why Is ESPN Doing George W. Bush's Dirty Work For Him?
The ill-conceived remembrance is by now as much a 9/11 anniversary tradition as the insensitively branded 9/11 memorial tweet, but even by the degraded standards of the remember-when genre, today’s contributions by ESPN and Grantland are really out there....
<i>The Visit</i> Proves That M. Night Shyamalan Is Still Trying Way Too Hard
1. Man oh man, remember the Newsweek that dubbed M. Night Shyamalan “The Next Spielberg?” Has an entertainment-cover of a national newsmagazine ever aged worse? All right, maybe this one. But man, that Newsweek cover might have been the worst thing that ever happened to Shyamalan. The Sixth Sense wa...
<i>Shanghai Noon</i> Is The Goofy Kung-Fu Western You Didn't Know You Wanted
Rush Hour was a silly little action-comedy B-movie that blew the fuck up in 1998, and it was easy to get the sense, watching things play out, that Hollywood wasn’t quite sure how to deal with that level of unexpected success. The studios could make more Rush Hour movies, of course, which they absolu...
Deadcast: The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
I know college football season is already underway, but it’s never, ever too late to comb through the Top 25 and say horrible, awful, remarkably ignorant things about every team and fanbase. That’s right, fuckos. It’s time once again for the Hater’s Guide to the Top 25, now in convenient Deadcast fo...