the Page 660 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<i>The Visit</i> Proves That M. Night Shyamalan Is Still Trying Way Too Hard
1. Man oh man, remember the Newsweek that dubbed M. Night Shyamalan “The Next Spielberg?” Has an entertainment-cover of a national newsmagazine ever aged worse? All right, maybe this one. But man, that Newsweek cover might have been the worst thing that ever happened to Shyamalan. The Sixth Sense wa...
<i>Shanghai Noon</i> Is The Goofy Kung-Fu Western You Didn't Know You Wanted
Rush Hour was a silly little action-comedy B-movie that blew the fuck up in 1998, and it was easy to get the sense, watching things play out, that Hollywood wasn’t quite sure how to deal with that level of unexpected success. The studios could make more Rush Hour movies, of course, which they absolu...
Deadcast: The 2015 Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
I know college football season is already underway, but it’s never, ever too late to comb through the Top 25 and say horrible, awful, remarkably ignorant things about every team and fanbase. That’s right, fuckos. It’s time once again for the Hater’s Guide to the Top 25, now in convenient Deadcast fo...
Why Is Floyd Mayweather Fighting A Nobody This Weekend?
Throughout most of his career, Elvis Presley was the highest paid performer in show business. He was managed by an old school flim-flam artist called Colonel Tom Parker, who passed himself off as a kind of Southern gentleman even though he was actually a Dutchman named van Kuijk. ...
Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....
Report: Floyd Mayweather Received Banned IV Before Pacquiao Fight
The day before his fight against Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather took two intravenous infusions totaling 750 milliliters. The bags contained mixtures of saline and vitamins, but their contents are irrelevant: any IVs over 50 mL are strictly banned. The Nevada State Athletic Commission, which sancti...
America Has Always Wanted To Pretend That Sports Aren't Work
Last month, given the chance to affirm that college athletes have basic labor rights, the National Labor Review Board punted. It’s rare that a sports metaphor so perfectly crafted for lazy headline writers is so fitting, but punting—the most cowardly, spineless, and responsibility-evading decision r...
We Tried The New Lay's Flavors So You Don't Have To (Please Don't)
In its infinite potato-chip-making and marketing wisdom, the Frito-Lay snack behemoth has sifted through entries in their latest Lay’s “Do Us A Flavor” contest (this year’s theme: “Taste of America”), narrowed it down to four finalists, and encouraged We The People to vote for our fave. Plus, there’...
Tell-All From Former Yankees Clubhouse Worker Is Finally Out; Alleges Jeter & Posada Had Sexy Time
Way, way, way back in 2007, we covered a Craigslist posting by a gentleman seeking a co-writer for a tell-all about his time as a Yankees clubhouse worker, the abuse he endured, and the many scandalous Bronx Bombers episodes he witnessed. It is now 2015, and Abused By The New York Yankees is finally...
An Idiot Invaded <i>WWE Raw</i> Tonight
It’s a miracle, given the proximity to and fanatical attitudes of fans at live wrestling events, that Idiots On The Field don’t turn up more often. But it happened tonight in Baltimore, as someone invaded the set and actually managed to hang around a bit during Seth Rollins’s ring entrance on WWE Ra...
Yeah, That Is Totally A Gold Watch As Uniform Accessory
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Defense Lines Up With 10 Players To Honor Late Teammate, Recovers Fumble, Scores Touchdown
Arkansas Tech’s defense had only 10 players on the field on its first play against Southern Nazarene in honor of Zemaric Holt, a 21-year-old defensive lineman who drowned in July. Despite the intentional disadvantage, the Wonder Boys—great name, by the way—scored a touchdown....
Demetrious Johnson And John Dodson Face The Pain, Step To This
There is an Ultimate Fighting Championship card scheduled for this Saturday, like many—probably too many—other recent Saturdays. What makes this one special is that it will be capped off by a main event of the highest caliber, with a dominant champion facing a threatening, wildly athletic challenger...
Scoundrel Mountain: The Sordid, Untold History Of The Pitching Mound
The modern Baseball pitcher utilizes myriad sleights of hand in his quest to fool and demoralize the slugger. Taunts, curses, incantations. Foreign substances added to the ball, including but not limited to urine and faeces (both human and animal) or reproductive fluids (both human and animal). Divi...
John Daly Sings "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" Days After Collapsing On Course
Golfer and unique pants enthusiast John Daly suffered a collapsed lung during a tournament Saturday, and had to be hospitalized. The 49-year-old reportedly wasn’t breathing for almost three minutes. And yet, Daly showed up the next day to play while smoking cigarettes, because that’s just what John ...
The New Miley Cyrus Record Is Exhausting, But Might Be Worth It Anyway
So what we’ve got here is Miley Cyrus singing a morbid piano ballad called “Pablow the Blowfish.” She’s wearing fluffy unicorn pajamas and playing an electric piano in an ersatz cornfield; additional props include a stuffed unicorn on a stool and an inflatable Super Mario Bros. power-up mushroom. Ve...
Meet The Owner Of Track's Most Brutal Event
Here’s Kenyan steeplechaser Ezekiel Kemboi after winning that 3,000-meter barrier-and-pond race at the Track and Field World Championships in Beijing. This was his seventh gold or silver World Championship performance. He’s got two Olympic golds at home in the drawer, stacks of others too, and, wond...
The NCAA Has Always Paid Players; Now It's Just Harder To Pretend They Don't
Contrary to popular belief, the NCAA has only ever truly enforced a nationwide prohibition on payments to athletes for three years—from 1948 to 1951. Prior to that, there was no NCAA-wide rule on scholarships at all, meaning that the full flowering of the popularity of college football prior to Worl...
Wait, Floyd Mayweather Made <i>How Much </i>Money Last Year?
So a thing that’s been in the news recently is the ongoing exchange of sick burns between boxer “Fuckboy” Floyd Mayweather and mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey. This beef is verbal, with tension sparked and stoked by thickheaded, numbnutted clownmen who think that pitting an athlete of one sport ag...
An Adult's Guide To Learning To Swim
I truly believe swimmers are not born, but are made (excluding Michael Phelps and his insane body, of course). If you got past childhood without learning how to swim, it’s very possible that you’re now stricken with fear/embarrassment at the prospect. That makes perfect sense; it’s really hard to le...