the Page 673 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"No, Tiger, Dumbass," Says Dumbass Golfer Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods hit a bad golf shot at Augusta today, and then he said “dumbass” on TV. ...
Don't Believe The Hype: Mayweather-Pacquiao Is Not Good Vs. Evil
The many failings of Floyd Mayweather to follow the basic rules on how to be a good human being are well documented. He’s a serial woman beater who once evicted his father and pleaded no contest to threatening his children. His odiousness speaks for itself. But his competitor, Manny Pacquiao, is bus...
The Beer Idiot: Lucky Buddha
Lucky Buddha Beer is beer. Because of the fact that I have had many other beverages definitively known to science as beer (not bragging ... much), merely tasting the Lucky Drink Co. product was proof positive: This is beer. Beyond that meek pronouncement, however, the bona fides of this stuff are ...
Tight Putt, Danny Willett
Englishman Danny Willett had an opportunity to earn an eagle on the par-5 13th hole at the Masters today, and he converted it with a perfect, extremely long putt. Willett read the green perfectly. ...
Q&A: The Mountain Goats' John Darnielle On Pro Wrestling's Arty Allure
John Darnielle has made his creative mark by exploring obsessions, extremities, intense emotional moments, and their aftermaths. Over nearly a quarter-century, his band the Mountain Goats have moved from solo-guitar-and-voice home tapes to elegant full-band albums featuring long-established cohorts ...
Bad Company Man Jeff Van Gundy Brings Up Augusta's Discrimination
Beginning tomorrow, ESPN will broadcast the first two rounds of the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club, so during tonight’s NBA contest they ran a little promo for it. Unfortunately for ESPN and the Masters, play-by-play man Mike Breen went off-script and imagined a world in which Jeff Van Gundy...
A Sense Of Where You Are
Oh, man, great job by The New Yorker making John McPhee's classic profile of Dollar Bill Bradley at Princeton available to us for free....
A Perfect Beer For Classing Up Your Budhole
Last month, Forbes ran a preposterous article titled “The 13 Best Craft Beers in America.” There are a million things wrong with the piece, but let’s just deal with the three most glaring problems. First, why 13? That’s an unlucky number! Why you trying to hurt beer, Forbes?! Second, the author lack...
Jack Nicklaus Sinks Hole-In-One In Par-3 Contest
Old man’s still got it. Jack Nicklaus got a hole-in-one on the fourth hole of today’s par-3 contest at the Masters. The Golden Bear’s 75 years old and still better than you. ...
Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...
Idiot On The Field Almost Gets Away
An idiot ran onto the field during tonight’s Orioles-Rays game at Tropicana Field just to shake Desmond Jennings’s hand. But who cares about that, what really matters is that the idiot got away! Look at this dude lazily flop over the outfield wall! ...
The Ideal Beer For Wealthy Working Stiffs
Most of my workdays are spent alone at home, poring over a hot computer as I wait for the muse to alight and the hangover to depart. From time to time, however, I am called upon to venture out into the general population to address the inmates of a local prison or communications class on the topic o...
Claire McCaskill Is Fighting The Wrong Battle
For some reason, Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill felt the need to weigh in on Duke’s victory over Wisconsin in the NCAA title game: ...
This Is Your Moment In The Sun, Buddy
Just your average, everyday NCAA title game double bird....
UFC Hires Former IRS Shitbag, Presumably To Oppress Its Athletes
The UFC, lately embarrassed by its fighters failing a lot of drug tests, has hired shitbag/former IRS agent Jeff Novitzky, best known as beloved baseball legend Barry Bonds’s persecutor, to be its “Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance.” This seems like a high-falutin’ and more than faint...
DA: NFL, Union Can See Pictures From Greg Hardy Case, Nobody Else Can
The Mecklenburg district attorney has allowed the NFL and the NFL Players Association to view seven photographs it wanted to see from Greg Hardy’s domestic violence case. What exactly is shown in the seven photographs isn’t made clear in the press release, but the announcement is clear on who won’t ...
Can You Pass The F.B.I.'s Fitness Exam?
For the first time in 16 years, the F.B.I. is checking to make sure all its agents stay in some semblance of shape. While all agents are required to go through a fairly vigorous fitness exam when they first join the bureau, the New York Times reports that the F.B.I. ended their once-mandatory annual...
Kentucky Breakfast Stout: The Most Important Meal Of The Day
Saturday morning, my wife and I woke up without any particular plan, unless you count the plan to go the art museum, which my wife did in fact count due to the fact that I had agreed to the plan 18 hours earlier, but funny things happen to plans sometimes. So there we were, blissfully plan-free for ...
How To Drive An Illegal-Ass Car For Years Without Getting Busted
So, maybe your car isn't necessarily legal to drive. You've got expired tags, an expired inspection sticker, and even an expired property tax sticker. Maybe it's been that way for more than a year. And considering your daily commute is an hour each way, in traffic, on major highways, you can practic...
That's More Than Five, Chuck, & Ric Flair Is On There Twice
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