the Page 699 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clown Shoes Pecan Pie Porter Is A Sloppy Good Time
This past weekend, my wife and I went to a quaint highway-side resort on Cape Cod to read magazines, pretend one clam chowder tastes any different from the next, and remember that the vast majority of Americans still don't give a shit what beer they drink....
Charlie Manson's Home On The Range
Over at the Daily Beast, I curated Gay Talese's 1970 Esquire story, "Charlie Manson's Home on the Range":...
Photoshop Contest: What Is Keyshawn Johnson Standing In Front Of?
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What Happens When The Officials Are Innocent Gatorade Bystanders
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How This Working Man Became Japan's Most Controversial Marathoner
One guy, one not-super-fast-or-important guy has sort of spanked the elite running establishments of Japan, and the US of A. That guy is Japanese government clerk Yuki Kawauchi, pronounced Kow wah OO chee. He'll be part of the elite men's field in Sunday's NYC Marathon. ...
Did <em>NBC Nightly News</em> Go Live To A Man Who Was Taking A Piss?
It sure looks like Weather Channel meteorologist Mike Seidel was relieving himself when Lester Holt threw to him during his coverage of the storms in North Carolina. What else could he have been doing?...
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Even Hockey Highlights Are Better When Called By Spanish Announcers
It's no secret that when given the opportunity, we watch games called by Spanish-language announcers. (Yours truly being located in Florida, those options are plentiful.) So here's the Florida Panthers' winning goal by Scottie Upshall Thursday night, as called by Arley Londoño of ESPN Radio as par...
Bill Belichick Is Fed Up With All These Wrong-Ass Meteorologists
At today's press conference, somebody asked Patriots head coach Bill Belichick if he ever takes the weather forecast into account when game planning, and Belichick responded by going on a sustained grumble-rant about how shitty weather forecasters are at their jobs....
I Watched A Journeyman Fighter Get His Ass Beat In A Cage In St. Louis
From Thrown, Kerry Howley's new, great book on mixed martial arts, available now....
Here's The Deep-Thinking, Super-Alcoholic Beer For You
When last we Drunkspun, we were so angry at Stella Artois for sucking that we completely overlooked the fact that we don't even need the good Belgian beer around anymore. We were so busy praising all the good Belgian beer, lest we look ugly and ungracious by failing to properly appreciate their ce...
Little Kid At Giants Parade Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On Air
The practice of yelling "fuck her right in the pussy" at inappropriate moments should no longer be a thing, but this instance is notable because of how young the perpetrator is. The kid jumps in there with the quickness, does his damage, and dashes off, leaving the poor reporter to try and salvage...
This Is One Of The Most Unfortunate Headlines We've Ever Seen
Hey, you guys remember Mark Whicker? The guy who wrote what is unquestionably the worst sports column of all time? Well, now he can add this headline to his collection of editorial facepalms....
Rappers And Cats: A Complete History
Meow the Jewels is a real thing. What started as a joke—with Run the Jewels, the acerbically bombastic rap duo of EL-P and Killer Mike, offering to re-record their fantastic new sophomore album, Run the Jewels 2, with "nothing but cat sounds for music" if someone gave them $40,000—has bloomed into...
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Scientific Proof Gatorade Is Better Than Powerade
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How Muhammad Ali's Rope-A-Dope Myth Suckered America
Myth now dominates our misunderstanding of Muhammad Ali, who was once the most accessible celebrity in the world. The truth of the man is nearly irretrievable. With Ali having receded into an exile of his own choosing, the jokes and half-truths and outright lies he once told to entertain us have h...
Fanboy Government Agents Illegally Spied On Costa Rican World Cup Hero
Keylor Navas was the best player on a Costa Rica team that exceeded all expectations in this summer's World Cup. Because of the goalkeeper's heroics, neutrals fell in love with him, Real Madrid fell in love with him, and Costa Ricans especially fell in love with him—a little too much, it turns out....