the Page 714 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NASCAR Race Goes Yellow Due To Idiot On The Catch Fence
Tonight's NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Richmond went under caution with 70 laps remaining after an idiot Idiot climbed the catch fence to, according to bystanders, take a selfie. ESPN's broadcast didn't want to say much about what happened, so here is some video....
This Game Has Been No <em>Vacation</em> For Arkansas State
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You Will Never Be As Cool As Brock Hekking
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Anchor California Lager: Because Ale Makes You Fat
You're getting chubby, and that's mostly because you spend all day looking at slideshows of the "27 Fried-est Foods at the Iowa Tractor Guild's Annual Corn Jousting Festival," which makes you shake your damn head at all those crazy, fat maize warriors and their deep-fried mutton cupcakes as you sm...
Penn State To Alums: Please Stop Being Crazy Truthers
Most of the country has moved on from talking about the Penn State scandal, accepting that university administrators and former head coach Joe Paterno made grievous errors in judgment upon becoming aware of Jerry Sandusky's crimes. According to a letter that was sent today by the university to a mas...
Never Trust Your Kids Around The Onlinerman
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Fisherman Pulls Monstrous Nightmare Shrimp Out Of Ocean
Try to see how long you can stare at this gigantic monster shrimp before becoming wildly uncomfortable and convinced that something totally just crawled across the back of your neck. What if I told you that its eyes are on stalks and can move independently from each other? ...
NCAA: Geno Auriemma's Phone Call To Mo'ne Davis Was A Violation
UConn women's basketball coach Geno Auriemma called little league pitcher Mo'ne Davis last month to congratulate her success with the Taney Dragons. Someone anonymously reported the call to the NCAA as a recruiting violation, because Davis, who is 13 years old, also plays basketball. The NCAA actual...
Floyd Mayweather Sued By Ex-Fiancée He Accused Of "Killing Babies"
Floyd Mayweather is being sued by ex-fiancée Shantel Jackson. You'll remember her as the woman whose old sonogram Mayweather posted on Facebook, claiming he broke up with her because she got an abortion. "And I'm totally against killing babies," he wrote....
Man Does Money Sign In Background Of CNN's Joan Rivers Death Report
It's what Joan would have wanted....
The Gonzo <em>District B13</em> Proves That Parkour Was Good For Something
Right now, someone, somewhere, is trying to turn Ice Bucket Challenge: The Movie into a thing. That's how it works: These little movements bubble up from nowhere, briefly seize the collective imagination, and then disappear in a ball of smoke before some asshole figures out a way to monetize the t...
Tröegs Perpetual IPA: Always Good, Sometimes Better
Informed citizens tend to blame Budweiser for most of society's ills, and justifiably so. Between the doltish marketing, crummy beer, and thousands of lives lost every year in catastrophic avalanches of Clydesdale shit, it's tempting to call for the company's immediate disbandment, or at least exi...
Large, Half-Naked Dodgers Fan Is Living The Motherfucking Dream
Hi, what are you up to? Actually, shut up, it doesn't matter what you are doing because you are not this Dodgers fan, who, aside from this good doggie, is the only one on Earth doing this whole "existence" thing correctly....
Pabst Blue Ribbon: It's Not Just For Hipsters Anymore, And Never Was
I've only blocked a couple of people on Twitter, because the Internet has generally deemed me unworthy of harassment, but if I were a more prominent person or dealt with a more controversial subject, I would toss motherfuckers overboard by the dozen. I do not interpret the First Amendment as guara...
FIU Changes Mind, Will Credential <i>Miami Herald</i> Beat Writer
The Miami Herald reports today that FIU will credential the paper's beat writer, David J. Neal, for the rest of the season—less than a week after the same university refused to credential Neal for the team's home opener. ...
Manny Ramirez Was A Huge Success As A Player-Coach
The grand Manny Ramirez experiment has come to an end. After three months as player-instructor for the triple-A Iowa Cubs, Ramirez's season ended on Friday with a knee injury. The 42-year-old was rarely healthy and can't really hit anymore, but Ramirez's minor-league stint went a long way toward sho...
Dogfish Head Indian Brown Ale: Making Delaware Relevant Since 1999
There are two big breweries within a couple miles of my house—the headquarters of both Harpoon and the Boston Beer Company (Samuel Adams)—but I've never been on the official tour at either place. That's stupid. I like brewery tours, and I've been to a bunch of smaller, less convenient places; I've...
Giannis Antetokounmpo Is Doing Awesome Shit At The FIBA World Cup
So, you probably aren't paying all that much attention to the FIBA World Cup right now, because it's still summer and you've got better things to do than watch Sad Derrick Rose shoot 3-12 in 40 minutes of playing time. With that said, you should be aware of all the dope things Giannis Antetokounmpo,...
Who Hacked The Nudes? A Working Theory
Everyone likes a good mystery, and the best one around right now involves the leak of hundreds of celebrity nudes onto the internet. The prevailing theory is that some hacker cracked Apple's iCloud service and then uploaded the nudes to the image-based bulletin board 4chan. We suspect that's not wha...