the Page 899 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

New Yorkers: Come Watch A Live Sports Magazine, Since None Of You Are Buying The Paper Ones
Pop-Up Magazine, "the world's first live magazine," is hosting its first-ever sports issue and its first-ever Manhattan issue at the Skirball Center on May 11 in partnership with ESPN The Mag. Katie Bakes will be reading, along with a lot of other smart people, and also Jay Bilas. It will be the kin...

Shin-Soo Choo And His Arresting Officer Combined For A Comedy Of Errors
Indians outfielder Shin-Soo Choo was arrested early Monday morning on DUI charges, the second such Indian and sixth MLB player this year. People smarter and more serious than we, like ESPN's Keith Law, have noticed and called out the trend—Law tweeted, "I'm so glad MLB is directing its time and mone...

Michelle Obama Teaches You How To Dougie
We were wondering if our President and First Lady could do anything to top what just might be The Best Week Ever In Presidential History. And then Michelle Obama went ahead and did the Dougie. This, you should know, as a potentially tax-paying American, is a part of the "Let's Move!" campaign and ...

The Internet Has Already Killed Osama Bin Laden Getting Killed
It's been, what — 20 hours since President Obama approached the microphone to deliver the news that Osama bin Laden had been captured and killed? But the internet has not rested. The internet has produced its usual batch of meme videos, including keyboard cat, Taiwanese animation, and of course, t...

Grantland.com Published Some Crazy Lady Yakking About The Knicks
Forget about all the in-house melodrama resulting from the project, please be sure to check out our girl Bakes do her thing. Yes, ESPN.com is sneak-previewing today. "The Garden of Good and Evil" is on my summer reading list, for sure. [Grantland.com]...

Mark Sanchez's Childhood Best Friend, Now A Jet, Was Once A Horrible, Malevolent Teenager
On Saturday, the Jets drafted Scotty McKnight, a wide receiver from Colorado, in the seventh round, in large part because Mark Sanchez spoke highly of McKnight. The two have been friends since age 9....

Osama Bin Laden Is Dead, Professional Wrestler Declares In Most American Video Ever
And then John Cena holds up his championship belt, and "The Stars and Stripes Forever" starts playing over the speakers. Everything about this is perfect, right down to the guy shouting, "We won." [via @SherwoodStrauss]...

Wrestler Could Have Gotten Away With Robbing A Bank If It Wasn't For His Meddling Fans
On the Combat Zone Wrestling field of battle, Nicholas Wilson went by the name of Nick Gage and his was best known for "his daring feats in the ring." Alas, grappling connoisseurs will go a half decade without seeing said daring feats unless they happen to be in a New Jersey state prison....

Of Pomp And Circumstance
Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates...

Frank McCourt Is Basically Charlie Sheen, At This Point
Kind-of Dodgers owner Frank McCourt toured cable television yesterday, pleading his case. Here are some of the things he said. They are totally not the ramblings of a man who has lost all money and control....

Year Of The Pitcher Dies Premature Death, Aged 29 Days
What some were already calling the second straight "Year of the Pitcher" in baseball came to an abrupt end yesterday, as bats exploded into craziness around MLB....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

Deion Sanders May Have Found A New Football-Playing Host Upon Which He Can Attach
Your morning roundup for April 29, the day "special cookies" in zip-lock freezer bags got real....

Here's Video Of That Mile-Wide Tornado Deciding, On A Whim, To Spare Alabama's Bryant-Denny Stadium
Let Tuscaloosa resident Phil Owen describe the damage that the mile-wide twister captured in this video wrought upon Alabama today:...

Figure Skater Gracefully Elbows The Shit Out Of Her Partner's Face
At the world figure skating championships today, Canadian Eric Radford took the full force of his spinning partner's elbow to the face at the start of their routine. The graceful attack came at the end of a triple Lutz-twist lift, which is apparently a thing that people know about — and even with ...

Anonymous Baltimore Orioles Employee Goes To Great Lengths To Inform Us That Coworkers' Wives Also Hate Obama
We received this envelope today, just two days after posting this critique of ESPN's profile on Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott. Immediate thought: a terrible press release, for some reason sent via paper, or some kind of cease-and-desist letter for misrepresenting Cal Ripken's children's bo...

We Regret Not Covering The Thong-Wearing, Feces-Spreading Meth Addict Raiders Fan Sooner
We regret the oversight if only because the unnamed author or editor of this story clearly spent so much time debating the sentence construction about 42-year-old Shawn Batie's meth arrest in a Lodi, Calif. cemetery that he or she should be commended for their detailed craftsmanship:...

Here's An Unintentionally Splendid Moment In Soccer-Match Photography
ESPN opted to feature a middle-finger wielding drummer on its Soccernet homepage this afternoon. It accompanied a tease to a story about Arsenal and its fans realizing their dream of an English Premier League title this season died off the 90th minute head of Bolton's Tamir Cohen....

Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall's Wife Allegedly Stabs Him, But He Claims He Fell Onto A Broken Glass Vase
As referenced earlier, Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall is in an intensive care unit, where he's recovering from a stab wound to the stomach. Per the Miami Herald, his blushing new bride Michi Nogami-Marshall was arrested last night on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon in a domestic di...

Ray Lewis Went To A Small North Carolina College To Talk About Spirits, Thunder, Cards And Whatnot
Tipster Jon R. reports that Ray Lewis "made an impromptu visit to Elon University for their spring football game last week and gave a very powerful speech. ... The game was actually postponed due to thunderstorms." Story moral: God hates people who listen to Ray Lewis giving very powerful speeches...