thed Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
As Playoff Dreams Drift Away, Phillies Fans Will Do Anything To Mask The Stench
With the Nationals and Braves storming to guaranteed playoff spots, it stands to figure that the teams would leave some division foes in the wake of their success. Sure, the Marlins and Mets found themselves buried with regularity this year, but for Phillies fans accustomed to the team's success, b...
Rays Fans Have Found A Unique, Horrifying Solution To The Attendance Problem
The Rays extended their winning streak to six in beating the Red Sox last night at Fenway, on a night that attempted to take Bostonians' minds off this year's misery and focus it instead on the glory of 2004. It brought out the rich and famous, as well as these Rays fans who brought along a few hea...
This Is Not Golden Tate, ESPN
We get that things were a bit hectic after the final decision in last night's joke of a professional sports contest. But really, ESPN? Identifying Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson as receiver Golden Tate? That's almost as bad as misidentifying an interception for a touchdown catch....
Matt Schaub Lost Part Of His Ear During Yesterday's Game
The list of athletes to lose parts of an ear during competition consists of Evander Holyfield and pretty much every wrestler ever. That list now includes Texans quarterback Matt Schaub, who in taking a brutal hit from Broncos defender Joe Mays found himself sans auricle. (You can watch the play her...
With Ink Like This, Who Needs A Shirt?
We mentioned last month that it seems the soccer fans who shouldn't go shirtless are the ones who always do. I wouldn't ascribe that rule to this gentleman, though whatever his physical fitness I'd hate to think he spent all that money on what appears to be Cubist design principals in tattoo form a...
New York Red Bulls Fans Struggle With Spelling
New York Red Bulls suffered a painful 2-0 loss at home to Sporting KC last night in a match played with little fire in front of few fans. A few supporters showed up, however, and they brought a massive banner using the most tired expression about Kansas since "Bleeding." (Yes, Sporting KC plays in ...
As If Being Arrested For DUI While Riding A Horse Weren't Bad Enough, The Cops Found His Moonshine
Lexington, Kentucky. Home to basketball, bluegrass, bourbon, and—strangely—the best Cuban sandwich I've ever eaten. It's also home to horses, some of which are people's modes of transportation. When a man found himself running afoul of Johnny Law while atop his steed, it seems that makes it a story...
Everton Fans Would Be Happy To Take Some NFL Replacement Referees Off Our Hands
While two different goal-line technologies are approved for use by the world's top soccer organizations, neither are implemented in the English Premier League yet—the limeys electing to stick with the power of the human eye for the time being. That's unfortunate, because EPL assistant referees are ...
When Officials Blew A Call Even After Looking At The Replay, Rex Ryan Was Flabbergasted
Late in yesterday's Steelers-Jets matchup, New York challenged a play in which Steelers running back Isaac Redman was ruled down on a tackle by safety Yeremiah Bell. Rex Ryan challenged the call, believing Bell might have forced a fumble, but several replays showed Redman was actually down in the b...
Rich Eisen's So Excited For Thursday Night Football, He Might Need New Pants
So we have a full season of Thursday Night Football on NFL Network (for those of us fortunate enough to receive that channel, at least) and that means plenty of action our favorite ego wrangler Rich Eisen. It can be hard to manage a set featuring personalities like Deion Sanders and Michael Irvin, ...
The Quasimodo Of Fenway: A Creation Of The Devil, Keeper Of The Monster, Sad About The Red Sox
He keeps his watch at night, working the ancient machinery that signals to the public the fortunes of the times. Some call him a monster, but it is within the Monster he hides from the visitors who curse him for the bad news he brings evening after evening. Some say he has gone deaf from the vitrio...
Georgia The Country Is Not Georgia The State
This error was up on the screen during halftime of last night's U.S. national team 1-0 World Cup qualifier win over Jamaica for all of three seconds, yet nearly a dozen of you sent in emails about it. Say whatever you want to about soccer fans, they're attentive. Though, really, I'd have been more ...
Chris Berman's Comb-Over Has Reached Ernie McCracken Levels
Chris Berman's much-ballyhooed turn at the mic to call a live Monday Night Football game came and went last night, and without much drama. He was better than last year's Mike & Mike experiment, at least, though his reliance on baseball terminology to call a football game was disconcerting and event...
Party Rock Was Actually In The House Last Night
Last night's U.S. Open women's final was the best we've seen in a decade, and the usual crowd of celebrities in attendance featured a representative of everybody's favorite pop-hop duo. Perhaps he was there to help Serena Williams celebrate with champagne showers, or to see if with no shoes or shir...
Joe Biden Was Ecstatic When He Learned We Finally Got A College Football Playoff
We take a rare excursion away from sports today, as this screencap is simply too good not to post. The Vice President delivered a rousing acceptance speech for his re-nomination last night in Charlotte, though it's unclear exactly why he felt it necessary to do the Joker routine....
Jerry Jones, Job Creator, Has An Assistant Whose Job Is To Clean Jerry's Glasses
NBC provided a shot of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in his luxury box during last night's Dallas-Giants season opener, and eagle-eyed fans would notice a young man in a dangerously-unbuttoned shirt accepting Jones's glasses, polishing them, then handing them back....
Great Effort Was Put Into This Alabama High School Football Sign Accusing The Opponents Of Being Gay
ESPN covered a handful of high school football games Sunday in one last "get some ratings now before the NFL starts" grab, one being a matchup of Alabama teams as Spanish Fort used a late score to secure a 20-14 victory over Daphne High School....
It's Still Preseason For ESPN's Promo Department, Too
Monday Night Football starts in a week, and the Worldwide Leader started promoting its first week doubleheader this weekend during college football programming. (You know, the doubleheader that will star Chris Berman in the announcing booth.) That's not the only blunder ESPN's made with the opening...
If Patrick McEnroe Is Talking About Andy Roddick, Then Generic Text Goes Here
It seems even the Worldwide Leader can be at a loss for words sometimes, as this SportsCenter report from Pat McEnroe about the impending retirement of tennis star Andy Roddick provided us some Fun With Graphics fodder....
There Was Some Very Funny Business Going On In The Royals' Dugout Last Night
Nothing to see here, I'm sure. Aaron Crow is just demonstrating proper toothbrushing technique to Vin Mazzaro while they sit on the bench during the Royals' 1-0 win over the Tigers last night....